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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When someone doesn't put kisses on an email...

28 replies

HelloKitty76 · 19/01/2019 16:21

When it's something they normally do...

Is it BU to wonder whether you've perhaps upset them or their feelings towards you have changed for the worse?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/01/2019 16:22

Why not ask them?

Original poster
HelloKitty76 · 19/01/2019 16:54

Would it sound clingy/paranoid?

OP posts:
SpoonBlender · 19/01/2019 16:57

Yes, yes it would. Because it is. You're overthinking, relax.

ShadyLady53 · 19/01/2019 16:59

It depends on who they are/the relationship.

I’ve done this when we’ve went from colleagues to ex-colleague but friends then back to colleagues again with my boss, to maintain professionalism.

I’ve also done it when a male friend became creepy and I didn’t want to give him any impression that I was interested in him romantically as he’d been over analysing everything.

I’ve also done it through sheer absent mindedness and replying in a hurry.

Knittink · 19/01/2019 16:59

I'm not a very kissy/huggy person in person or by email. If someone sends me an email or text with kisses at the end, I'd probably do the same back, so as not to appear unfriendly, but if I were initiating the emails, it wouldn't occur to me to put kisses. Maybe this person is the same?

Boysandbuses · 19/01/2019 17:01

Totally depends on loads of stuff.

The relationship, what were you talking about, how the relationship is at the moment.

They probably just sent it without adding though.

iklboo · 19/01/2019 17:10

It's better than putting them on an email to the Director company Blush

Limensoda · 19/01/2019 17:10

I've just been told off for not putting kisses on a text message when replying to a friend. They always put kisses but it's not something I think about tbh.
They have pulled me up for it in the past too.
Yes, you are being paranoid. You assume the worst because of a missing kiss? Don't be a friend who is so needy, that will put people off you.

blueskiesandforests · 19/01/2019 17:15

I don't think it means anything.

I've never put kisses on any form of written communication in my life though, so perhaps I'm missing some massive set of social cues...

Believeitornot · 19/01/2019 17:16

If you think they’re petty like that then maybe.

But otherwise meh

PotteringAlong · 19/01/2019 17:17

Would it sound clingy/paranoid?

Yes. Definitely would.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 19/01/2019 17:19

Was there anything in the text/conversation which led you to think you'd upset them?

reallyanotherone · 19/01/2019 17:23

Kisses in text messages/emails is just weird.

I only found out relatively recently (on here) that ending a text with an x meant a kiss. I just thought it was odd people signing off- instead of a full stop or “over”, cb style.

Never ever used it myself.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 19/01/2019 17:24

What sort of email? Surely not a professional one? Chatty one? Long email?

Cynderella · 19/01/2019 17:27

What knittink said.

I do put xx on an email or text if the recipient is upset about something or if they do it all the time, but I'd be happier not doing it at all. It seems ridiculous to me especially when it's on every message in a conversation, so I often leave them off without thinking. Doesn't mean I'm cross.

tiggerkid · 19/01/2019 17:29

if I were initiating the emails, it wouldn't occur to me to put kisses. Maybe this person is the same?

Clearly not as the OP says that this person normally adds kisses to the email!

OP: just wait for the next couple of emails and see what happens. But I personally would relax and stop analysing email kisses.

Snuffalo · 19/01/2019 17:33

It’s an idiotic custom to begin with and I can’t help but think a bit less of anyone who does it as a matter of course. Cheap, artificial sentiment. If I want to express fondness or sympathy I am articulate enough to do that with the words I choose.

Original poster
HelloKitty76 · 19/01/2019 17:33

The message was from my trainer (she always puts kisses even though some might think it not very professional). The whole tone of the message sounded a bit like she was shouting at me to be honest.

OP posts:
PenguinPandas · 19/01/2019 17:33

I have a female friend who sometimes puts kisses sometimes doesn't, just random. I never put them.

Knittink · 19/01/2019 17:35

Clearly not as the OP says that this person normally adds kisses to the email!

Yes but maybe it's normally the OP who initiates the emails and the other person just reciprocates with the kisses but this time the other person sent the first email and didn't think to put kisses. That was what I was trying to suggest.

nocoolnamesleft · 19/01/2019 17:35

Maybe someone's pointed out to them that it would be very unprofessional to put kisses on a work email.

cardibach · 19/01/2019 17:39

I’d say the time is more of a concern/indication than the missing kisses then!
I wouldn’t be using a trainer who used kisses on professional communication anyway. Bit creepy. But then I wouldn’t put a kiss on an email, text or other communication to anyone other than my daughter.

cardibach · 19/01/2019 17:39

The tone not the time. Stupid iPad.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 19/01/2019 17:40

You are massively overthinking this.

OhGoshNearlyForty · 19/01/2019 17:48

Sometimes I put them, sometimes I don't! I wouldn't worry about it! Smile

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