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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

I don’t no if Ibu or is he

12 replies

Paddington23 · 19/01/2019 15:47

Moved house 8 months ago I took with me all my belongings no time to sort through house was brought very quickly with in 3 weeks at which point I was settling in to a new job. Partner only had a few belongings and clothes. Each weekend I try to tidy the house it’s clean but stuff every where. Each weekend I also tackle throwing stuff away but it’s so hard after a long week at work and being ill and in pain constantly. House looks ok and then by Wednesday house is looking messy against the end of the week. Partner likes to go on about things having a place but in reality he’s just as bad as me. Partner won’t cook or empty dishwasher as apparently if he cooked he would use one dish and that’s it not the 3 pans or utensils I use. He says he dosnt need to empty the bin as it’s not his mess he only eats at home 4 nights a week dosnt fill it up but he didn’t realise where all his food rubbish goes. We’ve just had a big row I’ve spent the week in agonising pain been to see doc think I’ve been pooping blood and on the verge of loosing my job when he mentions it all he has to say Ia there’s nothing I can do. He’s now refused to get the slow cooker and some bits from Christmas out of his car I can’t as it’s his car and he has key somewhere he refused to do it until house is tidy I’ve got all the food out defrosting for the cooker. Ive told him he’s being horrible controlling and unsupportive. But he just replied with so are you by not making the house better according to him the house is stressing him out so he dosnt want to come home. I’ve asked for help with it but he won’t he works late so I never see him. The injection I’m on is making me depressed. I’m sorry for the rant I’m just crying for the 8th million time this year

OP posts:
CreakyBlinder · 19/01/2019 15:49

Your partner is a complete dick. Is there any reason you're still with him?

Paddington23 · 19/01/2019 15:59

The only reason I’m still with him is because he pays more on the mortgage I’ve put in the deposit and he pays nearly all the mortgage. I can’t move back into my mums and as I don’t drive I need to live here until I pass my test due to getting to work my condition is getting me so depressed I’ve contemplated taking all my codine in one go partner knows about this but as he tried to comit suicide a few years ago and won’t get any help for his depression it’s fine I’ve spoken to my doctor and seeing her again next week

OP posts:
Shallishanti123 · 19/01/2019 16:04

Pick up the phone, ring your mum and tell her what’s going on.

You can’t live like this. It doesn’t sound healthy. Suicide isn’t the answer... things can and will get better. Flowers

notapizzaeater · 19/01/2019 16:26

Leave, honestly he's being really abusive

AnoukSpirit · 19/01/2019 16:31

Control is abuse.

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Paddington23 · 19/01/2019 16:31

I can’t ring my mum she will only make things worse I used to work with her but left due to her being controlling she told me I would never make it work by moving out and never get a job and no one would want me

OP posts:
Shallishanti123 · 19/01/2019 16:45

So sorry, I read it wrong (thought you said can’t move there as you can’t drive!). Do you have any other family or friends you can go to?

HomeMadeMadness · 19/01/2019 17:00

Your life will be immeasurably better once you rid yourself of this abusive dickhead.

YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 19/01/2019 17:07

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

blackteasplease · 19/01/2019 17:09

He sounds horribly abusive and controlling. Who's name is the house in?

Paddington23 · 19/01/2019 20:35

Both our names both have an agreement that when we sell we each get back what we have paid in

OP posts:
Paddington23 · 19/01/2019 20:35

I’ve got a migraine so off to bed will check for replies tomorrow

OP posts:
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