Leaving work after having two children

[WinterRose92]

Hi, I’m posting because I’m really torn and could do with some advice or your opinion on this please.
I have a two year old son and I’m currently 7 weeks pregnant with my 2nd which I couldn’t be more happy about.
But I was talking to my Dad last night about what I was going to do with work once 2nd baby is born.
I currently work 3 days a week 8-3 sort of hours and my son goes to nursery. My Dad is asking if it is worth my going back to work once my Mat leave is over as I’ll just be working to pay for nursery fees, I know by then my son will be entitled to some funding but it would still be a lot to pay because 2nd baby would be going too. I can see my Dad’s point, it does make sense.
I’m torn because I enjoy the job and enjoy going to work, I’ve had a job since I was 14 so not being in work scares me a bit, I know that sounds silly!
I’ve spoken to my partner, he is in support of me either way, which is lovely. He’s just been promoted so has got a good pay rise which has come at such a great time, he’s worked hard for it. He said we could manage on his pay. I feel a bit bad about it though.
I wouldn’t want to take too long off work, maybe a year and a half to two years if I do decide that’s what I’m going to do. By then my son would be in school and 2nd child in nursery.
I’m just wondering are there others who have been/are in the same boat? What did you do? How did you feel?
I’m so conflicted, I know I have lots of time to think it through at least.
Thanks for reading if you have got this far!

I enjoy the job and enjoy going to work

This stood out to me. Your hours sounds very manageable too. You might have trouble finding something that suits you so well after a two year break.

Also whilst childcare is a drain on the family income, it will reduce massively once at school and in the meantime you increase your earning power through pay rises, refined skills etc and continue to pay into a pension.

Great your partner is supportive of your decision but I wouldn't give up the job, all things considered, including that it doesn't sound like you are married.

By then will you not get the full 30hrs for older child?

If you do then you’d be in pretty much the same position as you are now and as you’ve said you enjoy your job you might not want to let it go, but equally you don’t need to make that decision yet!! You may find that once you’ve had second baby you feel more one way than the other!

I think you need to play the long game here. Will you be able to get back into the same sort of work?

honeylulu no we’re not married, been together 10 years, engaged, we’ll get round to it!
Yeah, exactly, I do enjoy it and I think maybe even though it’ll be a drain for a while it won’t be forever, once my eldest is in school I’ll just be back to where I am now basically with the 2nd child being at nursery.
Thank you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I’m in a similar situation (9 weeks pregnant with a 2 year old working pt)

Are you married? If not, do not give up work. You would make yourself very vulnerable.

Also, it’s not the mothers pure responsibility to cover childcare costs. It’s such an old fashioned way to look at it. Your partner/DH (and Dad) needs to see it as a shared responsibility. It sounds like you enjoy your job. Good hours, part time = likes hens teeth.

I would be more careful about relying on his income without being married. I'd look up your rights.

Keep your job.

Sorry the not married comment wasn't meant to sound judgy! I just meant that as you would have less protection financially on separation (hope you don't obviously) it's another reason to maintain your ability to earn.

Good luck and congratulations on the new pregnancy!

OK so you're due August time?
Eldest will be eligible for 30 hours from the September or January depending on birthday but you'll be on maternity leave so can work around it all.

Is your child due to start reception September 2012? So if you have a year of maternity leave they'll be in full time school.

You'd need breakfast club or some sort until DP could do scho drop off, but you should finish early enough to collect or would you need care for after school if you had a long commute?

So it would be nursery full time plus a bit extra. You're already paying for ful ltime and DH's salary rise should cover the extra.

Would family help over the scho holidays? You and DH split your leave so only one of you is off unless you're going away.

It is doable, and then after two years youngest will get 30 hours so money will be less tight

Milkmachine15 yeah, I may feel differently once the 2nd has arrived, my Dad said that too. Maybe I’ll have to wait and see?
SnuggyBuggy yes, I could get back into it quite easily I’m not really too worried about not being able to get back to it.

Thank you for all the replies!
I’m thinking if I can stick it out and stay at work, by the time maternity leave will be over it’s only really a year and half before my eldest will be in school which in the grand scheme of things isn’t a long time and then we’ll just be back to where we are now really.

honeylulu ha, don’t be silly, I know what you meant!

I didn't see anything in your OP to suggest that you actively want to be a SAHM or that this would have occurred to you if you dad hadn't raised it. So don't leave work. You enjoy it and it's only 3 short days so you get plenty of time with the kids.

If you do enjoy the job then I'd go back. Even if income after childcare is minimal, it's still nice to have an identity outside of DC2's mum.

I work a lot more hours than you, I love my time with my children. Work is my ‘me’ time, it keeps me sane. I would struggle being at home full time.

That’s exactly how I feel, work keeps me sane! I don’t want to give it up in all honesty, I don’t think I will.
Thank you so much for all your replies, you have made me feel a lot better and more clear on what I want to do.

Tobebythesea Congratulations!

Everyone is different but I would feel a bit bored without a job. A job gives me another aspect of life, another thing to think about, another thing that keeps me interested. I also earn my own money which empowers me. I also enjoy talking to colleagues and having a cuppa at work, the odd funny training day etc. I really missed that on maternity and wanted to be around grown ups again.

I would be worried about having the confidence for job interviews after a work break too.

Work out the nursery hours 30 hours free over 3 years old isn't it? How many hours would they both do? How much would it cost a month? Do you get childcare vouchers too as that is obviously tax free.

Congratulations on the 2nd pregnancy too!

MrsTumbletap thank you!
That’s exactly how I felt the first time on maternity leave - as much as I loved the time with my son I was definitely ready to go back to work!
I’ve just been looking up the funding, I’m sure we qualify for it, so that’s good. It’s definitely doable.