I have been with my partner for 7 years. We have an 11 month old little boy together and things are and have always been great between us. We went to school together and became good friends then got into a relationship not long after leaving school. We started to get to know each other more after being invited to his dads house some weekends for parties which then lead us into getting together. Once in a relationship I continued to go to his dads over a weekend and stay as it was out of the way and was difficult to get home via public transport so was nice to get away from home for the weekend and escape busy city life and just spend time with a new partner. His dad also had a partner who at the time wasn’t much older than me so it became a thing that we were always expected to sort of ‘double date’ with them. Being a 17 year old who just wanted to sit in with my partner cuddled up watching a film and not wanting to go out to the cinema and for late dinner with his dad and his girlfriend every Friday and Saturday night started to become a problem for his dad. His dad also started to become quite perverted towards me asking if I would clean his house naked, watching my boobs as I walked, once attempted to slap my bum (as a joke) supposedly once I had pulled him up about it. Also when we were there if we had dinner from the freezer etc we would have to replace it, same if we were to have crisps or chocolate. I then said to my partner enough is enough let’s just stay at mine at weekends, which we did start to do. Not long after this his dad started getting really funny with me when we were in contact. He also started referring to me as it, she, dog, slag. Now I know it can’t be easy having a son who you are very close with stay wirh you every weekend to then not at all as he has gotten into a relationship but the jealousy really did get the better of him. Shortly after this his dad threw him a party for his birthday so of course I went, stupidly my partner had to much to drink before it had even started and had passed out asleep so I had to deal with his dad. His dad took me in the back garden and told me he knew about the past with my dad (without going into detail my dad left my mum and I tried to continue a relationship with him but it came very abusive which lead to no relationship) and he said because I don’t know what a dad is that’s why I don’t like him.. I don’t know how to act around someone who is a dad and no wonder my dad beat me. Now this was a man in his 40s talking to a 17 year old. Unfortunately for him I didn’t let him think it had got to me and told him he was pathetic all my friends have dads around and I have never once encountered an issue with them. It all started from here on really and that’s when I dismissed all contact. My partner has never really stood up for me to his dad.. I don’t know why we have had many arguments about it but I got sick of letting him win in the end. When I found out we were expecting a baby I didn’t even get a congratulations (not that I expected it but 3 months prior I was told I may never conceive naturally. Throughout the pregnancy I received abusive messages from him saying that his son could do So much better than me I am a slag and other things I wouldn’t even think of repeating. I simply responded there may be other people out there better than me but your son has lived with me and my family rent free for 5 years, he gets fed every day, his clothes get washed, he gets spoilt bdays and Xmas by me and my family, I got him his job that pays very highly now and have been there for him when no one else has whilst you his dad have given him nothing not a single present not a free meal when he’s been round etc and I got more abuse back so simply blocked him. I then went on to having the baby and he has had minimum contact with my son (I am breastfeeding so that has always been my excuse to keep him away as much as possible) they do however meet up for lunch on the odd occasion.
I went to visit my partners nan (his dads mum) last week and she has been warning me for months to keep the baby away from his dad as there’s things I can never know but to just keep him away. They don’t have a great relationship then self due to him conning her out of money etc throughout her elderly life. I forced her to just tell me what this thing is I can never know. Turns out when I went in for an emergency c section to give birth to our beautiful miracle baby boy he told his mum and I quote ‘I hope her and the baby don’t make it’
She has begged me not to tell my partner as if it gets back to his dad there will be trouble for her. It’s his dads birthday first week of Feb he will want to take the baby to see him. I feel sick thinking about him. This is his first grandchild and just cos he feels I took his son away from him he wished we had died on that operating table. Surely I have to tell my partner. I have been so off with him all week and not been able to go near him as I am starting to resent him for not standing up for me and maybe things wouldn’t have got this far but part of me feels for him being stuck in the middle but I just don’t want my baby anywhere near that man. I have to tell him don’t i?
So sorry for the long post I did try to leave certain bits out lol!