To not be able to cope with friends shallow obsession?

[SydneyFrexkle]

Sounds awful but it’s getting too much.

They want a nose job. They used an app to see what the new nose would look like. They’ve since text me this photo twice and then by email for a clearer view

They send me half naked photos and photos of their face to say how good they looked and how glowing their skin used to be and how they need to be that shape/look again.

Awww I would send pics like this to someone who I thought was my actual friend and not judge me. I’m not saying its easy not to judge but with insta and social media a lot of that age group and younger are struggling to acknowledge it’s ok just to be you. All these filters etc just make you look like how you’d imagine a ‘best’ version of yourself should look like.
It’s not true but alas plastic surgeons are probably loving it. She’s definitely not alone. It may even be an obsession but at the moment so I’d make up application and hair do’s, they’re all now considered very much a ‘hobby’ by many of that generation so unfortunately she’ll either grow out of it because she can’t afford the work or have the work done. I do feel much sympathy with the generation before me. It’s awful now to avoid feeling you need to look a certain way.

Because age happens, and that's a good thing.

I say that as someone who has an elevated risk of not aging much more. I would love to know I will one day be looking at the body of an 80 year old. That's my hope, and my goal. Sod the physical changes - think how much more I'll have seen, and learned, and enjoyed, and survived!

She does need help, I think. But not of the surgical variety.

I didn't have a mental health condition that made me think my nose was ugly. I had a mental health condition from people constantly telling me I was ugly.

All these people saying surgery is unnecessary, when did you last have strangers pointing and laughing at you in the street because of something about your appearance that you were born with and were not able to change, without surgery?

It may be a shallow obsession to you, but clearly not to her.
She's your friend, so get behind her.

I don't agree. The reality is that she is going to age, and she is not going to look forever like she did as a teenager or very young woman. Getting behind her to try to attain something that she never is going to attain isn't doing her any favours.

My eyes glaze over whenever an OP uses a plural pronoun for a single person. YABU.

@perfectstorm

Whatever the reason behind this self-obsessed behaviour, it sounds very boring indeed. I can’t imagine any of my close friends doing this so it’s hard for me to say what I’d do if they did. I don’t know how close you are or how valuable her friendship is to you but I probably wouldn’t have much time for entertaining this.

It’s actually a male friend. And also I’m not horrible.

Deep down yes I do think a (good) nose job would suit him BUT I’m put in a very difficult position of my friend basically trying to get me to tell them their current nose is awful.

They’ve not even booked a consultation but they’ve gone on about it for months. Talking for hours about it, sending me the same photos (I have no idea why I’d need to see it more than once).

And yes I do find it odd when they send me photos of their face saying how good looking they are and how glowing their skin is.

Is that why you said "they", so we could assume from the "glowing skin" it was a female and you could correct us? If you find this person boring, stop contacting them. Neither of you will benefit from a "friendship" like that.

LOL. Yes my whole life revolves around wanting to trick the users on mumsnet so I can correct them.

Glowing skin isn’t a bloody female thing.

@ravenmum I absolutely agree that in that situation, surgery is called for. I'm glad that you had surgery, if you did. Same as with me, it was to address something honestly disfiguring, which is a different scenario.

If it's a bloke sending half naked photos, OP, you have every reason to feel uncomfortable about that (you do with anyone, but IMO the sex of the sender does matter).

God, I hope this is real. That'll teach me to ignore the MN warning about sharing stuff, meaning to help, if there's an emotional cost to it.

Glowing skin isn’t a bloody female thing.

It’s not a very typical adjective used to describe male skin though. I’ve never heard it used in that context.

Thanks, RedHats

I used to have a nose much worse looking than Rebecca Adlingtons

Umm Rebecca Adlington is a living human being you know? You can't just come on here and say shit like this. Homer Simpson yes. Rebecca Adlington no. FFS. She is a beauty and a high achiever not someone to be compared to unfavourably

@ravenmum, sorry you went through all that, you wont have been ugly at all. Sadly a lot of people are total utter cunts and have an ugly soul.
Rebecca Adlington wasn't happy with her nose obviously that's why she had it done. Theres nothing wrong with stating the absolute obvious.

You don't need to talk for hours to anyone, about anything. You need more exit strategies, and the assertiveness to use them.

He's not putting a gun to your head to listen to him bang on ad nauseum about his appearance. Be busier.