NRP moved away without consulting me. AIBU?

[SpinachOrKale]

NC to alternative personality for this as outing if linked to original name.

Divorce imminent. NRP very recently moved away (without consulting me) to centre of very large (very busy during rush hour on a Friday ) town and is kicking off about a weekend (weeks from now) where they will have to do both collection and return. Used to live in small place @8miles away.

Historically I drop EO Friday, the DC are returned Sunday evening.

From a recent thread I see that it is for NRP to do the fetching and carrying if they choose to move away? An 80 mile round trip EOW is going to cost me upwards of £30 in fuel - maintenance is poor - are there specific rules on this? I'm happy to drop off despite massive issue with traffic getting there on a Friday, but I don't need NRP complaining about the odd weekend they need to do both trips. AIBU?

You could get legal advice regarding it but there are no set rules about it. A judge might rule that you should split the cost and transport down the middle or one parent only should have to pay.

It was his choice to move away. If my daughters father chose to move away, I would expect him to make the effort to ensure that contact with her wasn’t damaged by that choice.

In ours the rp , my partner's ex, refuses to do any drop offs or pick ups but they were the one who moved. We are going through mediation and court at the momment and asking for a line on this as we ahve 50:50 so it's costing hundreds of pounds each month

It's not black and white, but unless mitigating factors (lost his job and could only find one in new city, or lost his house and could only find one in the new city) then he's pretty unreasonable to up sticks and put the work on you and you should rightly tell him he can do the legwork.

I'd have the same opinion where a PWC moved away with the child (it's the mover's responsibility), but I think I'd have fewer agreeing with me.

Although there is no set policy, it's usually laid out in the contact order but from what I have seen, the parent that moves is generally responsible for pick ups. His choice to move.... I wouldn't be bending over backwards to help but would perhaps meet half way on the Friday but NRP drops them back to home on the Sunday.

Should add, if I chose to move away, then I would consider the onus to be on me to facilitate contact with her father.

Thanks all - much appreciated advice. Took 3 hours return trip for me this evening - rubbish. Maybe I should invert the weekend logistics as the journey would be a whole lot easier on Sunday....

DC would suffer though, he doesn't give a crap but they are my priority. Rock and hard place come to mind...