Stupid question - at home with baby, development etc

[pandarific]

Hello - hope you can help me, I'd ask my baby group friends but I feel a bit stupid.

I have a 10 week old baby, first one and I'm worrying all the time about how I'm helping him develop when he's home with me. We moved just before xmas and are renovating so I've been bfing him while texting plumbers etc, looking at light fittings on the Internet - and I feel guilty and like I'm doing it wrong somehow by being distracted.

When you had a baby, what did you do with them all day? When he naps I do housework or renovation related stuff, paperwork, or watch tv. When he's awake, I feed/cuddle him, or prop him on my knees facing me and chat - he loves this, all smiles and gurgles: however, I can't do that for the 10+ hours I have him on my own all day because I hdvr stuff I need to do and also I will go mad. He has a vibrating chair with dangly elephant which he loves, and I've just got him a playmat with dangly things which he also loves, but how long should I leave him to his own devices with these? 15-20 mins a go say?

I've only abruptly realised I've not been doing tummy time and though he has good head control otherwise, he can't bend his head back, and I feel bad about this - HV never mentioned it and I didn't realise it was any more than a 'nice to have'. I've also decided to get out in the pram every day - it's a faff but I feel much better when I do it.

So my question is, does this sound okay? He's quite a chilled little guy.

I used to go out everyday for a walk with mine when they were babies. Also went to parent and child groups, went swimming, local playground taking baby on swings. Just have fun.

Sounds like you're doing really well! It's so easy to worry but all they need is a bit of stimulation when they're awake, and naps/ feeds etc. If he's unhappy he'll let you know!

Sounds perfect

10 weeks old is still really young so I wouldn’t worry too much. My DS hated tummy time so we never did it. He hit all his milestones and was walking around 11 months old.

What you’re doing now is exactly what they need. Like Ready said if a baby’s unhappy or bored they’ll definitely let you know

Good grief, I remember worrying about this sort of thing when my first baby was this age! Tummy time wasn't a thing then (and this was only 12 years ago!) and she has turned out just fine.

I would definitely recommend getting out every day (weather permitting), perhaps reading small picture books to them for a few minutes at a time? It made me feel less like a crap mum and it wouldn't have done her any harm.

You can do anything at all that you like. I just strapped my dcs to me, and did what I like doing. Don't worry about it at all. They're brand new, everything is something exciting to look at, even the washing machine going round.

That's fine! At 10 weeks old they're fascinated by everything. But too much stimulation can upset them anyway.

I found with DD I didn't really do anything beyond bits of playing with her, reading her simple baby books and singing nursery rhymes until she was past 6 months. Then she was trying to crawl and more interested in things and that's when I started taking her to baby groups.

You sound like you are doing fab. I used to put mine in the bouncer in the kitchen so he could watch me as I pottered around and talking to him at the same time. When the washing machine was on sat him by there to watch it go around. I’d get him out and put his hand on there to feel it vibrate and spin. Put him on the floor under one of those arches- his used to have things to kick as well. To be honest at this age between feeding, changing, and doing these little things there isn’t much time left. Mine were babies before we all had iPhones etc, so I would sit with him in my lap reading the paper to him, and he’d happily tap the paper giggling at the sounds.

He’s still only tiny, so a little stimulation is going to go a long way! Remember he’ll tell you when he’s had enough by getting grizzly, a little grizzly can be a ‘I just want to check you are there’, or the big grizzly ‘I’ve had enough now’.

At that age i didn't do alot. Go out in pram once a day, she would lie on her playmat and play with toys.

My dd hated tummy time so we rarely did it

I have three older DC I never did tummy time with because they always became severely distressed and I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I can confirm none of them have monstrous flat heads and they can all lift their necks but sometimes fail to wind them in .

Also have an 11 week old who I’m home with all day so in the same boat. I have bought him lots of books (I teach English so reading has always been a top priority in this house), favourites are the Chris Ferrie science ones and black and white visual stimulation ones. Lots of visual stimulation stuff, I have the a cot mobile with lots of black and white and high contrast images on it. He also has a wooden baby gym he lays underneath and a few toys I encourage him to look at. Other than that I simply sit with him talking to him or singing. He seems happy enough with that . We walk six miles a day doing the school run too.

I think baby groups are pointless at this stage. If your DC is anything like mine, he’s asleep for a large portion of the day.

My baby is a bit older (5 months). We usually go for a walk after we drop the others at school/nursery. We go to a baby group once a week. I sing nursery rhymes to him, read him books, he plays under his gym or in his jumperoo. Other than that he sleeps, feeds or I stick him in the sling and get on with the chores.

Tummy time. Time in a carrier while you go about your day (it's better than being in a buggy or pram as it helps head development). Put on some music you like, chuck baby in the sling and dance around while you tidy up. Go for a walk to the park. Chat to the baby when you're at home doing whatever you're doing. Give the baby safe, everyday objects to hold (e.g. a wooden spoon, clean tee towel). Cycle through the toys they like so elephant, then later that afternoon a crinkly book (the black and white baby books are great as they're eyes can see them better).

Honestly though if they're hearing your voice and not spending hours on end stuck in a buggy, high chair or bouncy chair etc they'll be fine they don't need a planned syllabus!

Congratulations on your baby! We had a few toys that he used to look at vaguely and a bouncy chair but he really wasnt very interested in things for a long time! We used to go for walks or round the supermarket or out for a coffee so he could see different things. We started going to a few classes at the 10-12 week stage which were good as he enjoyed it and i had a bit of adult interaction. If you're on Instagram there's loads of pages around easy play activities you can do at home with just a few bits and bobs.

Thank you all, feel relieved it sounds okay!

One issue is I have the only baby in the world that hates the sling (bright red screaming kicking etc), so I'm a bit hampered by that. Good idea about the bouncer in the kitchen, should have thought of that really. I have just got a baby bjorn, will see if DS is any happier in that a bit later.

My first 3 hated slings. Number 4 loves it thank god because it makes life so much easier sometimes

Honestly, if you needed to correctly "stimulate" a baby in order for them to develop the human race would have collapsed long ago, or rather never got off the ground in the first place. All babies need is to be part of normal life, which is to say whatever you're doing. Talking or singing to them occasionally is nice, other than that get on with what you want or need to do while you bloody well can. Go to the cinema, go to exhibitions, go for coffee, go to the supermarket. Job done.

Tummy time is good to build in to your day but you can start gentle classes like baby massage but at that age they just really like looking at people and being with you. I realised I was overstimulating my newborn and the poor little thing just wanted a bit of peace and quiet. It gets easier as they get bigger and they can do more. Also if they are happy in the bouncer/play mat I think it helps later on. Some babies won’t be put down at all. If yours is happy to just get on with stuff then embrace it!