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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To encourage a healthier lifestyle for DH?

4 replies

Takaras · 18/01/2019 09:27

Both for his own well being and before TTC DC2.

I'd love it if he would eat more fruit and veg, less processed food, alcohol and sugar, and start doing some exercise. We do have healthy evening meals on the whole with a relaxed night or two at the weekend and I buy loads of fruit and veg (which is mostly eaten by DD and me) but to help I could prepare lunches and snacks for him to take to work and make breakfast. At the moment he lives off bacon sandwiches, McDonalds and sausage rolls outside the house it seems like!

I think life is short so we should all have a bit of what we enjoy but balanced with the good stuff for the same reason that we only get one life and body.

I'm probably overthinking the TTC side, perhaps because our wonderful DD is being investigated for a spontaneous congenital condition. Luckily it seems very minor and shouldn't affect her much, I'm not suggesting it's DH's or anyone's fault but it has hit home the responsibility of bringing a child into the world. It's really important to me that we are reasonably healthy when TTC again for egg/sperm quality and it's quite easy for me as I find nutrition etc really interesting (whereas DH thinks it's a load of nonsense and asks where the chips are!) that said, he enjoys a lot of the healthier meals we make as well.

Sadly his family on both sides have suffered with several serious health conditions and deaths at a relatively young age so I do worry a lot about him too but feel it's his life and choice except that we have a shared responsibility to DC. He seems healthy but struggles with depression and I know his BMI isn't where it could be!

AIBU to try and encourage healthier habits and if IANBU then how? I want him to be happy too

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Gotstuckwiththisname · 18/01/2019 09:32

YANBU. I'm like this with my DH. If I didn't take charge of his diet, he would live on toasties and crisps.

I will get flamed for this in AIBU, but I tend to make all his meals, so I can get some healthy nutrients in! So porridge with fruit cooked in or greek yoghurt topped with seeds etc for breakfast, do him a big salad for work lunches and put a banana & orange in there most days, then dinner with shedloads of veg. I nag him to drink water as well.

It definitely makes a difference in his mood, especially when he gets out on his bike or to the gym as well. He suffers from anxiety, so it's important to get out & get the endorphins flowing.

I know some see it as controlling, but I know which version of DH the DC and I prefer and the effect on his mood is startling.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 18/01/2019 09:32

YANBU at all, but you can't force him, either. I understand the frustration; my DH is a bit similar. I think they have to make the leap themselves. All you can really do is continue to provide the good stuff at home.

Takaras · 18/01/2019 09:45

I think you are both right - he needs to be on board himself (I will say he's cut back on alcohol of his own accord which is great!) but also in the meantime I will prepare as much as I can for him. He won't mind as it's convenient for him then and he will eat most things as long as they look fairly familiar!

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Takaras · 20/01/2019 10:07

Well, this morning's attempt at porridge didn't go down well. It had a few blueberries and some nut/seed sprinkles and he said it looked disgusting and made a big fuss. He bought the porridge himself and I've seen him eat blueberries and nuts so I don't know what's so offensive about the combination! 🤷‍♀️

Then I got cross because I feel like it will be a huge battle and I don't want to be a nag. But he has suggested some lunches I could make him!

Between worry about investigations for DD and for DH (he is also undergoing testing for an inherited adult onset condition) maybe I'm just trying to control the situation. But lifestyle changes would help if he has inherited the condition, so I feel so helpless watching it not happening!

I did cook him his favourite unhealthy meal as a surprise the other night so maybe I'm as bad

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