Child care concerns

[mumofoneneedswisdom]

Hi wise mums,
I need some advice please.
My 2 year old daughter has just started at creche ten days ago. She has since started to go wild when I change her diaper, a frightened and panicked cry. It is breaking my heart.
I wanted to mention this to them and maybe ask them to be gentle with her.
This has me in knots... I now see that the front of her labia appear chapped or rubbed. This is not a usual spot for diaper rash, it doesn't look like diaper rash. Rash cream over 24 hours has had no effect on it. My mind has just ran away with me. Im trying to reign it in. I've checked the car seat, it's not rubbing. I've checked the bike seat, it's not rubbing.

AIBU to worry that something sinister may be going on?
Part of me thinks that even if there was 0.001% chance of something awful going on I need to investigate it.
Part of me thinks/hopes that the aversion to diaper changes may be a developmental thing. And maybe this mark on her is something totally unrelated.
Part of me just wants next steps on this to ensure I've followed up on my concerns.

Am I ridiculously silly and unreasonable? Am I stupid? My ears are ringing my mind is zooming so fast and I don't even know if I'm thinking straight.

Do you provide the nappies and wipes? If they use their own it could be a reaction.

Are they taking too long to change her, so she’s sat in a wet/soiled nappy for a while? This could irritate her.

I would ask that (if they don’t already) provide you with a time sheet of when and who changed the nappy (my nursery for DC do this as standard)

It is really easy to jump to conclusions, but try stick to rational thoughts... if all the above don’t apply, or there’s hesitation about filling a time sheet then yes I would express my concerns to nursery manager, and if you are still concerned, change nurseries.

It would really worry me too op, I have no idea what I'd do in your situation. I hope everything OK.

The creche do provide their own wipes and diapers. But the reaction/mark is not generalized it is localized to one area.
I don't receive a report of diaper changes but I can certainly ask.
Tonight I see bruises that look to me like they correspond with fingers, my partner thinks it's all in my head... please see attached, am I being overly imaginative? Please let me know your thoughts because I'm really doubting myself yet screaming inside.

I honestly don't get concerned about bruises on shins.

My daughter sometimes gets eczema on the front of her labia. She normally gets it when she has an allergic reaction, and normally comes up as just a small patch across the front of both labia. The rest of her genital area is normally absolutely clear It's not a nappy rash, but actual eczema. So it is absolutely possible to have a non sinister cause. However if you are concerned I would be taking her to a Dr and going from there

The bruises could be nothing, could be fallin over, or another child. I’d keep an eye or mention it but they are not in a place that would cause suspicion.

The bad reaction to nappy changes, and the soreness are things that, as a staff member, we would note on a concern form if we noticed this suddenly in nursery. If they had always been ok woth nappy changes, and were suddenly like this.

My worry would be if you raise it they could still note it down as a concern, so if I was you, I would write it in an email to the manager so you have evidence that you raised the concern, not them. Not saying that they are guilty of anything or trying to be sneaky, but once you bring it to their attention they have a duty of care to make note of the strange rash and behaviour.

I agree with pp. But I would keep a diary just in case and then if other things happen and you are unsure you can report it and take her out. Sorry I'm not sure of the correct process. But deffo keep a diary if you are not feeling right about anything. Also go appointment for the nappy area?

The bruises wouldn’t overly concern me because my two year olds shins are the same from clambering around. Could you take her to the GP to have her sore area on her labia checked over.

The bruises look like b9th 9f my kids shins they are always falling. I don't see finger marks.

Ask about her nappies, explain what the porblem is. Don't jump to conclusions but obviously there is some kind of issue so talk to them don't just assume the worst.

OP I would get a professional opinion on those bruises. I have been on awareness training for this due to my job roll and also look for this kind of thing whenever I'm doing my visits. It could be nothing but the pictures on the left to me looks very much like a set of four linear fingertip bruises with one single opposing thumb print which on the right leg I think could be consistent with holding with the right hand if the child was lying down opposite for a nappy change. Looks like rough handling to me and I would address this. Your daughter may have decided that she has better things to do than have her nappy changed so struggled and is consequently bruised on her legs and sore round her labia or she could be struggling away because she is sore. Either way a child should not be bruised by hands play maybe but not hands. It may just be the way I'm seeing this as I am constantly vigilant about this. The marks look are days old but I would speak to a professional.

What is her demeanor like going in to crèche and coming out?? Is she hysterical or upset??