Who is being U?

[Togertiger]

BG mIL is cut off. She sent an outfit for DS for Christmas. DP put it in the donation bag.

Row this morning with DP. He was tired (DS woke us at three in the morning with sore throat and coughing and so we got little sleep and today ds is off school. DP was annoyed that he was going to work and I had day in with ds).

I was feeding baby and grabbing a bath this morning. Ds (4) came through dressed in the MIL outfit 🙄. I think DP, manchild, had taken it out of the donation bag to put on him because he thought it would annoy me because it was from MIL.

(I asked Ds why he was wearing it , he said “don’t know, daddy put it on me”)

Rang DP at work to ask and he said ds had put it on himself. (Gone into the donation bag and found it and opened it and put it on...).

I think this is a lie.

DP is being a twat isn’t he? Is this as mean as I think it is?

It's childish. I ignore that kind of behaviour, otherwise I get more of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's petty and childish, and I wouldn't have dignified it with any kind of response. I find ignoring this kind of behaviour both frustrates and makes the other person feel more of a twat.

You both sound childish.

Neither of you fare well in this story

Yes it is. He is being a passive aggressive jerk and telling lies on his child to do so.

He’s pathetic. What a baby! Is it your fault you’re a SAHM? Would he rather pay for the childcare?

I fail to see what I did except defend myself when DP kicked off about how it was alright for me I didn’t have to go out in the snow etc.

DP was jealous of you having to take care of a sick child and retaliated by dressing a child in a forbidden pair of trousers? That's hilarious. Your house is nuts.

In my house we fight over who gets to go to work instead of taking care of the sick children. Furthermore if we fight we do not do it through children's outfit choices.

That said, my DH does often wear jumpers with holes in just to annoy me. In sport not in anger though.

Why did you chuck the outfit away?

Presumably it’s still useful even though you don’t speak to MIL? I just couldn’t get worked up about this

Rise above it, OP. DP is being a bit childish but will find it more annoying if you do not dignify this with a response.

Maelstrop I’m on maternity leave. I would normally take ds and baby on the school run.

He was being provoking, but "When they go low we go high" ie. don't rise to the bait, be the bigger person.

Pathetic to give away perfectly good clothes - what harm can it do your child to wear them. The clothes are innocent 😇

What does BG stand for?

He was being a childish prat. But I don't think you handled it very well by calling him at work (after you'd both had a difficult night) to have it out with him. You knew you were looking for a row.

ShirleyPhallus If it had been ok I would have used it. It wasn’t nice and DP hated it. Which is why it’s even more stupid.

StoneofDestiny Gosh no, much better to give them to the shelter if it’s not our thing. DS has loads of clothes. My mum has a children’s clothes shop!

It was childish of him but you played into his hands by rising to it. Since it was just an outfit who cares where it came from?

Why does DH resent you staying in presumably on maternity leave? Sounds very mean spirited.

AllMYSmellySocks don’t know. Think he just sees it as the easy option and was having a pity party. We were both tired though, both up in the night.

DP doesn’t even get him dressed normally either!

What's BG mean? At least she tried I guess 🤷‍♀️

BG = Background