...to ask how you handle party invites you 'should' want to go to but don't?

[Lludmilla]

You know the ones I mean. The ones where you genuinely like the people throwing the party, you don't want to hurt their feelings, but for whatever reason(s) You Just Don't Want To Go, and at the same time you feel bad because they've been kind enough to invite you and you feel like you should want to go.

Do you suck it up and go, or lie and invent a clashing engagement?

I tend to go. The best times come out of not wanting to go imo. Plus a lot of people have the fear that no bugger will turn up when they have a party.

But if you don't want to go then don't. Just don't commit to it.

I had this with a friend who used to hold endless fancy dress parties. I always made an excuse and after a while she ghosted me and sadly we’re not in contact any more.

If I had my time again, I’d still not go as I really hate fancy dress.

I think this very much depends on the nature of the event. If it's a significant birthday, for example, then suck it up, go along and leave as soon as is politely possible (we always use our dog as an excuse!). If it's a more casual thing, then I would tend not to go I'm afraid. I'm just not a "party" type and really hate any kind of crowded social gathering.

Marking place as I would love a good excuse not to go sometime. Usual reasons I don't want to go are 'fancy dress' or everyone must wear a certain colour - usually sodding pink. Mostly its because I live out in the sticks and everywhere is an hour's drive, so I don't even get to drink. I wish it was socially acceptable to say 'thanks, but I can't be arsed'.

It depends whether you're likely to be missed, if it's a big party with plenty of other guests confirmed then I'd duck out otherwise as long as it isn't twice a week or something I'd suck it up and go.

Part of my trepidation is down to the fact that it's a 'dancing party' so to speak (a specific style of dance, but it may be too outing to reveal which) and I've been to these types of things before and know there's likely to be constant badgering from hosts/other guests to dance. I don't do this kind of dancing and DH doesn't do any kind of dancing at all, so that's kind of a strike against it.

Ah well in that case definitely don't bother. Sounds like hell.

Personally I love a good barn dance (?) so I would go, but agree a barn dance when you don't dance is likely to lead to badgering and non enjoyment.

These days I say 'sorry, not my kind of thing' (especially for MLM parties), or 'sorry can't make it'.

These days I say 'sorry, not my kind of thing' (especially for MLM parties), or 'sorry can't make it'.

There are MLM parties?? Crikey, if I'm ever invited to one of those I think I shall have to be staying in and filing my corns that night.

(jk, I don't have corns, but I'd prefer them to a MLM party.)

Fancy dress parties and dancing parties get an automatic no from me, but my friends know this so generally don't bother me about it!

I'm just honest; 'thanks so much but line dancing/fancy dress/New Year's Eve/Hunt Ball just isn't my sort of thing'.
But I've got to the age where so long as I have been polite in my response I really don't care if people think I am anti social.

We had friends invite us over for NYE every year for the last 4/5 years ... they've finally got the message and didn't invite us last year. I don't think they are offended, they came to us for a drinks party and we still meet up for 'quieter' evenings.