To think I’ve jinxed myself ?

[Pk37]

Sorry kinda long -
At the start of jan I was out with my DH and DD and we had just had a lovely pub lunch with my dad and step mum.
I was starting to feel really upbeat for a change (I’ve had struggles with depression since I was 17 ) so uttered the fatal words..
“I’m really looking forward to this year, it’s going to be great “
That evening we got home and realised one of our cats was still not in and hadn’t been since the night before , fast forward to now and he’s been missing for 2 weeks and I have done everything - phoned vets, put up posters, shared on social media , been out looking / door knocking ..and no sign , not even a sighting from anyone so I have been down about that but holding it in so dd thinks there is still hope .
Then we find out dh is being made redundant but the company are dragging their feet about when this will happen so we have that limbo and then today I had a call from another mum saying trouble is bubbling up between our daughters again (7 year olds ) and her daughter practically had a panic attack this morning .
There have been issues with this before in year one when dd was new to the school but they’d been fine since and I had no idea it was starting up again .
So now my anxiety is through the roof , I'm tearful all the bloody time and cry at the stupidest things and now I’m thinking I fucking jinxed the whole thing by saying out loud how good I thought this year would be!
I’m normally very glass half empty so for me to say it out loud was a big thing and now I’m regretting letting my mental guard down.
I’m BU and ridiculous aren’t I?

Sorry you're having a bad time.

In your shoes I'd feel the same. I NEVER say things are going well for fear of tempting fate. In fact I daren't even think it.

Looking at it another way if bad luck comes in threes then at least you've had all three...

I’ve learnt my lesson now , whiteroseredrose !
Back to doom and gloom for me ..
I really hope it’s just in 3’s

My brother did the same thing by texting me on new year's day saying this year couldn't be as bad as last (major problems with our dad's health & social care). Hey presto! January so far has been an absolute nightmare and 2019 looks like being at least as bad as 2018.

These are just throwaway comments people make in moments of optimism. They're not tempting fate or anything like that.

Yeah you’re right but it sure doesn’t feel like that !
After reading some other posts on here and another forum I’m on ,I realise that it’s not the end of the world and I just have to keep my head up even though I don’t want to

I don't believe in fate as such so I wouldn't say you've jinxed yourself, but I am sorry you've had a string of bad luck and hope your cat comes home soon. I think things seem worse when it all comes at once because we feel overwhelmed, whereas these events more spread out would mean you'd have more energy/less stress to deal with them.
Maybe you could try to think of it as getting the bad stuff out the way early, and hope the rest of the year is more plain sailing?

@Sparklesocks
Thank you , that is a good way to look at it I’ll have to remember that .
We have lots of good things coming up but my brain won’t let me be excited just “what’s going to go wrong now”
It’s an exhausting way to live that I really need to change .
Felt good to have a rant though .

Definitely, it’s good to get it out. I hope things start looking up!

“I’m really looking forward to this year, it’s going to be great

So you must have had a reason to think this? What were those reasons? If they still hold good, no problem.

I think the thing with "jinxed" feeling is that you are now looking out for bad things that you would otherwise dismiss as any of the random bad things that happen to people from time to time.

BTW HarryTheSteppenwolf you should never EVER EVER say "things can't get any worse" or "things can only get better" - if you are able to walk, things can always get worse. if you are able to see, things can always get worse - and so on.

It's not a helpful way to think. No matter how bad things are, it is usually the case they could always be worse - and if you are in that place it's better to focus on what is good in your life

Yes that’s very true @BoswellsLastStand.
I think that’s exactly what I’m doing now .
Now I’m aware of it maybe I can control it a bit better .

If you believe it's possible to jinx yourself, it's a form of magical thinking. The problem is, I understand there's probably no rational basis for such a belief, yet I also believe it's unlucky to listen to certain songs (usually a song associated with any stressful time in my life) because I'll be jinxed.

Looks like my “luck” may be changing as my cat was home this morning when dh and dd went down to the kitchen !
Couldn’t believe it , he’s been gone for 2 weeks ,1 day exactly .
He’s very skinny but otherwise fine but smells like old musty blankets so I think he was locked in a garage or something .
DD also made up with her friend and apologised (was the usual “you can’t play with us “ playground meanness) and wrote her a nice letter so hopefully that’s also sorted !
Just dh’s job now ..

Just to give you some more hope OP I was made redundant about ten years ago, completely changed industry progressed really well and now have a senior role and a career I'm really passionate about that has a positive impact for other people. So redundancy isn't always a bad thing, I used it as an opportunity to take stock and think about what I wanted from my professional life and to go and get it.

@JasperKarat Wow that’s great , I’m so glad it worked out for you , I hope it’s the same for DH .
It’s just so up in the air at the moment that I’m constantly feeling uneasy.
Dh on the other hand is actually ok and just wants a date so he can move on so I should be pleased he’s not fretting about it .
Thank you