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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how you all keep going

16 replies

allinmyhead12 · 17/01/2019 08:59

how do you keep the momentum up???
i try so hard to keep on top of it all work, home-life, exercise, diet....i can manage to keep it up for a couple of weeks and then feel myself going back to before. Im not lazy by any stretch just set myself things to do each day ie exercise, certain household chores to do on a certain day, and then find myself putting it off and before i know it im back to doing no exercise, minimal housework, minimal amount at work (i know i could do more).
i set myself targets and then fail at every opportunity....

how do you keep yourself motivated and determined to keep going?

How do you not feel deflated when you don't achieve something and dust yourself off and start again?

OP posts:
flumpybear · 17/01/2019 09:03

Watching with hope! I'm the same I'm full time at work, two young children and a full working busy life. I'm too tired to do the gym at night so try to go in the morning for a swim but exhausted - last night didn't help as I woke mid-sleep and couldn't get back to sleep so slept in and missed a swim 😔

Ifangyow · 17/01/2019 09:05

Maybe because you're setting yourself unrealistic targets?
Try aiming for a small but often target instead.
Does it really matter if the skirting behind the sofa isn't dusted today because you cleaned the bathroom instead?
Little but often.

NicoleNoPants · 17/01/2019 09:06

You two sound like Wonder Woman!

Ifangyow · 17/01/2019 09:08

It doesn't matter Flumpybear.
You had a rough night, no need to be upset about it. The pool will still be there tomorrow Smile

BiddyPop · 17/01/2019 09:29

I really really wouldn't underestimate the powers of sleep. If you have enough rest, you can achieve loads.

I do things like keeping cleaning spray and a few Jcloths (we only use yellow ones for bathrooms) behind the bathroom sink upstairs, so it is very easy to clean that one (the main use one) in a few minutes after I have a shower some mornings, or on a Saturday morning while I have a facial scrub/mask on (slap on mask, spray sink, bath, toilet, wet cloth and swipe around sink, bath toilet (toilet always last!), bleach down loo, wash off mask, walk out and throw jcloth in laundry hamper).

We got a much easier to handle vacuum cleaner - so its easy to spot clean a room.

Always clean up the kitchen after meals.

Try to keep hot spots of clutter under control - but tackle those if they build.
Pay bills as soon as they come in if possible, and I keep a few envelopes in the kitchen drawer for sending cheques or returning forms/money to school etc. Main stock is upstairs in the office, but those few downstairs means I WILL do things as we run out the door in the mornings.

Make lunches the night before and fill bags (school, work, sportsgear etc). Also put out clothes for morning before going to bed (extra points if you lay out breakfast things - but we don't do that every day). Makes it so much easier when you want to rush and get gone.

Try to always bring something up or down stairs with you that belongs somewhere other than you found it - never have 2 empty hands if you can. So you are going up to change your jumper, but there is a school jumper on the back of a dining chair that will be needed in the morning - bring that with you to the DC room or the landing at least. Bring down a load of laundry when you are going down after changing your jumper and throw it in the machine but set the timer to run at a time that suits you.

Learn about any timers you have - oven, washing machine, heating, etc. And use them - a hot dinner when you get in at night is great!

And lists are great for things you really want to get done. But specific lists, with small things - not a big aim that needs a lot to achieve.

Break down projects into milestones - what is the next step I need to get done, and what are the tasks within that to get to the milestone? What can I achieve, what do I need others to do? Are there deadlines?

And if you can't do something the direct route, can you achieve it indirectly?

So say Flumpy you missed your swim this morning, can you get out for a walk to the shop at lunch to buy something you need, but go a longer route and get an extra long walk in? Or bring the DCs for a walk this evening? Or do some yoga/pilates/stretches at home once DCs are in bed, even if you are not getting to a class?

And yes, don't look on things as failures, see small hurdles not got over but how can you get over the next small hurdle instead - the power of a positive attitude is also not to be underestimated!

allinmyhead12 · 17/01/2019 09:38

thats probably my issue, always been a glass half empty type!

OP posts:
Breakawaygirl · 17/01/2019 09:40

I agree that it's important for goals to be manageable.

Six days a week at the gym for an hour is harder than three.

If you can be realistic about what you can do, push yourself further on some days, but just do what is possible for you. Give yourself a reward after.

flumpybear · 17/01/2019 09:55

Thanks - I think I'm just much slower than I used to be .. I'm getting older and I need more energy - and seek to flump (good name lol) after I've cooked them eaten dinner
Perhaps a lot is mental and just a bit physical

SittingAround1 · 17/01/2019 10:41

It sounds like you need to be kinder to yourself. Do you get enough relaxation time, where you accept you 'll do absolutely nothing?
I find being more rested (although very difficult with work and children) will motivate you more. You probably need to accept achieving less in a day as well.
As for work, as long as you don't get fired you're doing fine Smile

Confusedbeetle · 17/01/2019 10:44

Set the bar a bit lower, the tick list should be thethings you have achieved, not the things you havenet done. Slash the list and consider only the things you MUST do. Like eat sleep and laundry

OutPinked · 17/01/2019 10:47

With housework I clean as I go, always have done. Rather than letting laundry build up to an unmanageable point, I’ll notice the basket is getting full and put a wash on. Will load the dishwasher straight after eating then unload as soon as I can when it’s finished. Will put things away after use and encourage my DC to do the same (or nag if they don’t). Wipe kitchen surfaces down after use, take the rubbish out as I’m leaving in the morning etc. I set aside a couple of hours out of every weekend to get ‘bigger’ jobs done with DP.

Diet/exercise wise I set a meal plan at the beginning of each week. I’m not stringent with it as in I have set meals for set days, rather I will plan five meals out and can pick and choose from those five each day. Seems to work well for us. I also try not to have ‘bad snacks’ in the house very often or I’ll stash them away. I’m on mat leave atm so walking to school and back which is 6 miles of walking a day. When I return to work I always take the stairs instead of the lift and park a bit further away.

crosser62 · 17/01/2019 10:52

That’s because personally, with most of it I chuck it in the fuck it bucket.
Really only do what I can, which is minimal and enough to scrape me through every day.
Kids, fed, warm , watered and safe... score!
House is tidy, clean, food in the cupboards and I’ve fulfilled my contracted hours at work.
I’m knackered ALL. THE. TIME.
But that’s ok.
I’m just too tired to care mostly.

Honeypickle · 17/01/2019 10:52

I have a cleaner and a DH who does all the cooking!
Other chores are all 50/50.
I work 3 days a week, exercise 4 times a week and have 3 DC aged 7,6 and 2.
For me the key is a routine - exercise on the same days at the same time, join clssses if you can. Tidy up every day as soon as you get home from work or school run. Clean things if you see they need doing there and then - little and often.
Allow yourself time to sit and do nothing but try and do that as a reward, ie 10 minutes tidying a DC bedroom means glass of wine and favourite tv episode!

NicoleNoPants · 17/01/2019 12:26

Some great tips here!

halfwitpicker · 17/01/2019 12:30

Set the bar a bit lower,

^

Like 👍

Candymay · 17/01/2019 13:09

Biddypop you sound amazing! I loved reading your advice.
I have just taken a two hour nap and eaten loads of biscuits rather than do the work I should have done.
In my defence I am exhausted and work really hard.
OP I totally get how you feel. I just cannot be as organised as I’d love to be.

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