DH’s ex is very angry and bitter, she has been this way for 11 years and I am finding it draining and exhausting. I have had to block her from contacting me after the abuse got really personal about me and DH, however he obviously has to have contact and he gets pages and pages of abuse directed at us both sometimes daily. I can see how much it has eroded DH and we are currently going through the courts to get access to DSS (12). She has been impossible at every step, forcing DH to take the legal path as an amicable decision could no longer be reached. They mutually spilt while she was expecting after a very short relationship, DSS has never known his parents together. She has had 2 relationships since, but is currently single. She is constantly passing judgement on how DH and I choose to live our lives, has driven a huge wedge between DSS and his Dad recently by lying to him about their past. DH and I can do no right in her eyes, we offer a loving supportive home to DSS however she is constantly claiming that I bully and abuse DSS, that DH doesn’t parent DSS – we have addressed these claims with DSS directly who says that is not the case. He appears happy and relaxed in our company, gets plenty of one on one time with his dad and seems perfectly happy to spend time with me if his Dad is at work or playing footie and its too late for him to go. However she has been increasingly more difficult regarding access, for example will arrange with DH to pick him up from school and then take him out early leaving DH frantic with worry. This has been getting progressively worse over 6 months, DH will call and text DSS on his phone (paid for DH) sometimes he answers, sometimes doesn’t, sometimes ex will say ‘if you want to talk to him you go through me’ which ultimately will limit their contact. DH has always paid over and above, previous access patterns have been every THU, FRI, SAT and EOW, which have changed at her wim (not work related). DH and I want to have shared custody, however she believes it would be too upsetting to his routine. I am at a complete loss as to why she is still so furious with DH and in turn myself after all this time. (before anyone asks I was not involved in the break up) She has previously admitted to DH and myself that she has tried everything to break us up and is amazed that we have been able to stay together. How can someone stay angry for so long? DH and I have been TTC for years and are currently in the throws of IVF, I don’t know how to dial down the stress from her to give us a better chance of success. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. Sorry it’s a long post, feels cathartic to write it down.