Am I being silly?

[lyssie29]

My kids dad died 3 years ago leaving me with a now 5 year old and a 3 year old. I've battled everything with them, done everything for them. I take them to school every day,feed them,bath them. Well everything. They don't have any grandparents so I have no help except my sister. Maybe once every 3 months she takes the kids but usually it's the evening when they are in bed. I do ask for lifts as I don't drive and we meet a few times a week usually for a coffee. The other day I was talking to a cousin who basically said when my sister has her baby I'll have to do loads to help her because she (my sister) has practically raised my children 50/50 with me!! I don't know why but it's really upset me. When my partner died my youngest was only 6 months old. Not once did anyone take her so I could have a nap. She woke at 4am for 3 months every day and I got up with her. I taught her to walk, to talk, I potty trained her. The longest my sister has taken the kids is maybe 4 hours and I had to make them a packed lunch. Am I being silly for getting upset?? It's made me feel like crap and I dont know why. I know my sister isn't going around saying she's done all those things but i don't know why my cousin would think it in the first place.

Did you put your cousin straight, or ask where they got that idea from?

Your cousin is being very trivial with your feelings. Try to ignore her. She obviously assumes

You are not being silly. It was probably an ill thought out throwaway comment, but I can imagine how it would have felt to have so much pain and hardship borne alone, so casually dismissed.

I think you are incredible. I don't think could have done what you did, under those circumstances and with so little support.

You should be very proud of yourself

Sounds like your cousin is just stirring for her own amusement - she doesn't sound like a pleasant person.

What a dick move by your cousin. Try it to give it any head space.

Say to your sister “oh you’ll never guess what cousin said to me the other day there?!”

Try NOT TO

Take no notice of your cousin,she has no idea of the real situation.
YOU have brought up your dc,you are their mum.Your sister is a much loved aunty I guess but she has not brought them up.
Try not to let her thoughtless words upset you op.

Tell her straight if she raises it again. Prepare the ground and manage any expectations with DS any perceived involvement

That's shit and I can't believe people say stuff like that. I know how hard it is raising them alone. Youngest has no father and eldest's father barely even speaks to her by text now. The baby years with DC2 were the worst. You have my full sympathy. It does get better. Distance yourself from the cousin for now.

Ignore your cousin.
You sound like a fabulous mother.

I’ve had this- my sister said my mother was my daughters other parent- errrr no, she had her 1 day a week for which I paid her very well and I continue to pay her mobile bill despite dd being in high school and not needing looking after. DD also stays at my mums on NYE, my birthday and end of term drinks in July so I can have 3 nights out a year. Hardly shared parenting!

Some people will never understand solo parenting.
Roll your eyes and shake your head, then move on. X

No not being silly. What an absurd thing for your cousin to have said and not surprised you found it upsetting. Sounds like your sister has been a huge support giving you lifts a few times a week however.

Yanbu do you think your sister has given her that idea?? Maybe shes been moaning about it to your cousin?