To think the school should be doing more?

[Anymom]

My ds is 12 and attends a mainstream school. He has moderate learning difficulties and is about 6 years behind academically. He has an EHCP. For the past few months he's been so anxious and not wanting to go to school. He's so anxious he barely eats, cries himself to sleep and has been self harming. He says he can't do the work at school and has been getting detentions. This is very unlike him as his behaviour is normally really good. I've had meetings with the SENCo and they have suggested he stays in the sen room. This worked for a few weeks but now ds is refusing to even go to school and says he's lonely and wants to be with his friends. Yet he can't do the work in the lessons. He hasn't been to school for the last week as he's so anxious and upset. I've informed the school of his anxiety and asked them for some TA support to help him but have heard nothing back from them. I've chased them yesterday and still nothing. I'm really worried that ds isn't receiving any education at all and no one seems to care. I don't know where to turn for help and am beginning to have panic attacks myself now about the whole situation.

Anymom - just wanted to quickly signpost you to a facebook group that you might find very helpful.

It is 'Operation Diversity' - it began as a support group for parents whose children have dyslexia but has expanded to all SEN now. They have an absolute wealth of knowledge and experience and will be able to advise you on how to get the support your son needs.

Here is their group description …
'We are passionate about providing the right tools, knowledge and inspiration to children, teens and adults with a wide range of Special Educational Needs and Disabilities.

The heart and soul of this FREE community is to ensure that children and adults whose brains are ‘wired differently’ are not disadvantaged or disempowered. We work hard to give current, relevant and accurate information, advice and support. in addition, we supply or signpost to a range of services and products, inc of assistive technology, equipment and other resources.

We pride ourselves on being a one-stop-shop for all things SEN!'

www.facebook.com/groups/dyslexiasupportUK/?fref=nf

Thank you. Ds isn't dyslexic but I will take a look!

The LA are wrong. The duty is on the LA to deliver what is in his plan, and this cannot be delegated. It is absolutely NOT the school’s responsibility, and the LA cannot delay his AR. Your legal recourse is Judicial Review, but in all likelihood it wouldn’t get that far because their conduct is unlawful.

You don’t have to send him in if he can’t mentally face it, any more than you would force him in if he had some infectious disease!

Please please call IPSEA, or SOSSEN, and post on any of the EHCP Facebook pages. You are being lied to, and fobbed off.

And another thing, a school being full is NOT a legal reason not to take a child if the school is named on his EHCP. And there are no waiting lists either in reality. The kids that get the places are the ones whose parents fought like mad, often via Tribunal. But it’s doable.

Thanks kerry gold. I'm hoping to be able to make some more calls tomorrow if ds can make it in to school. The LA said they delegate the responsibility to the school as his school is out of county. Its very confusing as I keep being told conflicting advice by the school and LA. The lady I spoke to today said ds needs to stay in mainstream as he's considered a mainstream child. Not sure what that means? Maybe part of his EHCP.

My daughter is similar, but being a secondary school teacher I knew she wouldn't cope in mainstream. I was pressured by the LA to put down mainstream but I wanted her to go to a special school.

Thankfully she got a place and has spent the last 5 years at the top of the class, which has done her self esteem no end of good, than 5 years at the bottom constantly struggling.

From my own personal experience I would push for a special school and as a secondary teacher I would say that the gap is too big and that mainstream will never provide the support he needs no matter how much they promise they will. There is not enough support for kids like yours.

I know my daughter will not get any exams in special school but she wouldn't have got any in mainstream either, especially now the curriculum is so much more exam based and most schools are taking away vocational courses.

That is our predicament queen. The mainstream he is currently at has said he has to be entered for the core gcses which I know will be hell for him. They don't offer any alternative whereas at the special school they do. But after speaking to both the school and the LA today it seems he won't get into the special school anyway. So we are stuck.

Whhaaattt did I just read?

No no no the fuck no! The LA cannot delegate responsibility for him even if he’s on another planet let alone another county! I’ve heard some bullshit but that is stunning. Get them to put that in writing. They won’t.

As for “a mainstream child” ask her for a written definition of that too. There isn’t one. It’s bullshit. Your child has a list of needs, (section B) and matching provision (section F) and the section E, outcomes is the difference that the intervention makes. And the placement (section I) is simply where would meet his needs AND must reflect the wishes of the child and parents, which is central to the Children and Families Act 2014. Your Sen officer is a fucking disgrace.

Which county is this?

And even the bloody mainstream school MUST MUST MUST make reasonable adjustments and deliver his plan on behalf of the LA, and if that includes not doing GCSE, reduces timetables, a 1:1, specialist lessons, dual placement, etc etc they have to do it!!!

You’re not stuck. But you’ve got a lot of admin coming your way!

Hi kerry I'd rather not say which county on here publicly but am happy to pm you. Not sure if that is possible on here?
Hmm I thought it was wrong what they were saying as I've looked through the ipsea website. To be honest the lady was very stern and I didn't know how to challenge her. She did say as he coped in mainstream primary it would be expected that he can cope in mainstream secondary. The way she spoke made me feel that he would never be accepted for the special school as he should be able to cope at mainstream. I really feel they aren't listening to me as he is struggling so much. It is affecting our whole family as my other son is obviously worried about his brother when he hears that he wants to kill himself etc. It seems to me that he just can't keep up with the pace of mainstream eg his writing is slow and by the time he's written the date he's missed the rest of the work etc. It's just built up and all became too much for him. I'm now worried about his attendance as they've said I can be taken to court? What would this entail? I don't want to end up in prison as my husband wouldn't be able to work or deal with this all alone. It's just such a worrying time for us all. Poor ds doesn't know if he's coming or going and I can't even reassure him that everything will be OK. I feel physically sick at the thought of it all tbh. Thankfully school aren't as stern as the LA as its really shaken me up after speaking to them.

Anymom. The woman you spoke to has no idea. She is ignoring the differences between primary and secondary schools. In a long teaching career I've come across so many pupils who were happy and confident in Y6 but confused and bewildered in Y7. The buildings are bigger, there are far more people around, both pupils and staff, and the pupil no longer has the stability of time spent with their form teacher everyday. Your DS needs and deserves far more support than he is getting.

He’s talking about killing himself? GP now and get that recorded, a referral to camhs and start there.

There is NO WAY the county would even entertain attempting to prosecute you over non attendance when they are catastrophically failing in their legal duties. You have enough to take them to Judicial Review right now just on what you’ve put on this thread, and undoubtably there will be more stuff they’ve got wrong.

Lovely, keep your boy safe first, don’t put him under any more pressure and keep him at home. Paper trail every single interaction with school and the LA, highlighting that his placement is breaking down, he is suicidal and he needs reviewing NOW. I can’t describe how much leverage you actually have, it’s tons, but you’re going to have to fight. Pm me.

And indeed, the moment when the wheels fall off for anxious kids is usually when they hit secondary.

I’m really horrified at what I’m reading.

AND IT WILL ALL BE OK so you can tell your son that.

You definitely qualify for SENDIASS help and, in my experience, they have the magic words that will help you get a place at a special school.