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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you tell a stranger about you neighbours routine?

28 replies

namenamenameyname · 16/01/2019 16:07

So I'm mainly just curious about what other people would do. We've only just moved into this house and have seen the next door neighbour exactly once, have no idea of her routine or even if shes the only person living there, during the day her car isn't there but you can here the usual sound of someone walking upstairs etc usually around 11 at night.
But I've just had a knock on the door to a man dressed in workers uniform, had a lanyard with some ID on it. He said he was trying to get in contact with next door as the landlady had requested they do some work on the house, but he's tried for the last few days and couldn't get hold of her or catch her in, did we know when he could reach her? I said no, sorry we've just moved in. So he started to poke parts of the outside of my house saying "this ones been done, I did this see?" (I have no idea, he could have been trying to point out anything for all I know) Like he was trying to convince me he really did work on the houses around here. Again I said Well I don't know sorry. Then he asked if she had children and if she goes to pick them up from school, again I said I don't know, sorry and eventually he sighed and toddled off asking if I could let her know if I do see her.
I could be a very sceptical person but now I'm wondering that if I did know an exact routine, should I have told him? For example "Yes she works but not on Wednesdays" or "Oh I always see her around Saturday mornings, try then" For all I know he could be a conman trying to work out when the house is definitely empty, or an abusive ex trying to track her down.. Or is that a silly way to think?
So would you tell a stranger about your neighbours routine?

OP posts:

ExFury · 16/01/2019 16:09

No I wouldn’t tell them. If they wanted to leave a card then fine (though they could just put it through the door), but I wouldn’t be giving out details to a random person.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 16/01/2019 16:18

Why doesn't he do what normal people do, text or email her? Why harass the neighbour instead?

snurguzelly · 16/01/2019 16:20

"So would you tell a stranger about your neighbours routine?"

No, I'd tell them I had more important things to do and then do something more important.

Do you hate punctuation?

cheesywotnots · 16/01/2019 16:22

No he could be sussing the place out or touting for work. If he wants to speak to her he should put a card through her door.

Reaa · 16/01/2019 16:22

I would put a note through her door to inform her what had happened

Believeitornot · 16/01/2019 16:24

Do you hate punctuation?

🙄🙄🙄🙄 did that make you feel good?

fusioluxe · 16/01/2019 16:25

How are you supposed to let them know, did he leave a card? Look him up. Google. Ring the company.

Do you rent? Is it the same landlord? Contact them.

53rdWay · 16/01/2019 16:26

I wouldn’t and I especially wouldn’t have told that one. Asking if she has children at school and when she leaves to pick them up is weird.

Saucery · 16/01/2019 16:27

I wouldn’t tell anyone anything, apart from the police.

SaucyJack · 16/01/2019 16:29

No, I would not.

Wouldn’t care if he was legitimate or not.

She’s a grown-up, and if she needs work sorting out on her house- I’m sure she’s quite capable of doing it herself.

EmeraldShamrock · 16/01/2019 16:30

Slip a note in her door, did he leave any details.
To answer you question. No I would never give out information on my neighbours routine, I would expect the same from them.
I don't like nosy neighbours. Mine are nosy and elderly, they window watch I am sure they know my every move

fusioluxe · 16/01/2019 16:31

“She’s a grown-up, and if she needs work sorting out on her house- I’m sure she’s quite capable of doing it herself.”

It’s not her house apparently. If the story is true, it’s the landlord who wants work done.

Petalflowers · 16/01/2019 16:32

No, I wouldn’t. You don’t know who,they are.

If they are genuine, they would put a note through the door, or telephone to arranage a suitable,time,to,visit,

ExFury · 16/01/2019 16:32

Her landlord would know if she had children so the workman wouldn’t need to ask a random neighbour that one.

Original poster

namenamenameyname · 16/01/2019 16:35

He didn't leave any card or details with me, he just said, "Well if you do see her tell her to give us a ring."
I'm guessing if he is legit he's left a card through the door or assumes she knows exactly who they are. I'm glad other people wouldn't tell him, I wouldn't like someone doing it to me either.

OP posts:

Chouetted · 16/01/2019 16:37

No, I wouldn't tell them. I'd offer to take a message instead (in case they'd left a note and it had slipped under the doormat, or something). If they didn't leave one, I'd be very suspicious.

I refused to give information to the guy who knocked on my door to point out that my neighbour's washing had been out for three weeks (unusual for her) and had she mentioned being on holiday? But I did agree with him that it sounded very concerning, I'd pop round myself immediately and check she hadn't dropped dead in her house, and generally keep an eye out for anything amiss.

cheesywotnots · 16/01/2019 16:37

You can say he called, she can ring her l.l.. to check.

Littleheart5 · 16/01/2019 16:51

I would assume he is a Summons server who needs to personally serve papers on her. They usually disguise themselves (lanyard/hi-vis jacket etc). If he hasn’t been able to get her when she’s at home he will want to establish her routine to ensure he gets her

partinor · 16/01/2019 17:03

My father used to be a Private Investigator and would knock on neighbours doors. He said he was always amazed what people would tell him.

theworldistoosmall · 16/01/2019 17:08

No I wouldn't tell anyone anything.
Some do though. My mates a PI and the stuff he gets told is outrageous. I would be really fucked off if any of my neighbours told some random about my movements.

The LL will have contact details for the tenant. It's up to them to liaise with the tenant and workmen. And as for kids, they should also know who is living in their property.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 16/01/2019 17:11

I wouldn't! He could be a con artist. Let the landlady sort it out with the neighbour.

SaucyJack · 16/01/2019 17:13

“It’s not her house apparently. If the story is true, it’s the landlord who wants work done.”

Yes, I know she rents. But that still doesn’t make it the OP’s problem to project manage access to the house for workmen.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 16/01/2019 17:15

Id let your neighbour know.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/01/2019 17:27

If it was Homeland Security, FBI, CIA, then yes. However, I would not do it for a summons, lawyer, or PI.

My husband had to have a life long back ground check that lasted 4-6 months because of the delicate nature of his job. My father had to have FBI clearance for his job and he also had a very thorough background check which involved the usual asking neighbors, teachers, childhood friends, past employers etc. Our neighbor just recently was applying for Homeland Security and his back ground check lasted 6-8 months covering everything and everyone you could think of. We were also spoken to regarding his behavior. Of course, we are used to this sort of thing, because of DH and my Dad, so we knew to ask for his identification card and other criteria to make sure he said who he said he was. I befriended someone in Homeland security once, because I got a tip during the Paris bombings, and he told me, that people who were observant and forthcoming managed to thwart a would be bomber that is now in custody.

Let me reiterate on thing, though, I would never give any information to a private detective or a lawyer or a summoner or the like I would politely, show them the door.

BejamNostalgia · 16/01/2019 17:30

Do you hate punctuation?

Wow, that really added to the conversation. Thank you for that post, it has made me feel enlightened and enriched. It’s so unique and original, I’ve never seen a post like that before.

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