to sometimes want my body to myself

[ChippedVarnish]

I feel like I’m tense a lot of the day and with breastfeeding and wrestling with a baby who wants to crawl and can’t I’m touched out by the end of the day.

my DC is still rocked to sleep (right or wrong as that may be) and as soon as I put them down DH wants to jump on me

I’m so flattered and really appreciate the affection I’m so glad he feels that way towards me but I sometimes just want to relax. I’m still self conscious too so sometimes hold my tummy in etc and don’t feel fully relaxed when he touches me sometimes

Other times I am all for it, and I feel selfish only wanting the affection on my terms

Does anyone else feel like this? I probably am being U!

I have a breast fed cluster feeding baby, who screams when he's put down for more than about five minutes. My GP recently asked me if I wanted to discuss contraception, I laughed and made sure I told DH about the conversation. My body is basically owned by a milk monster baby right now, DH can back off. To be fair to him he hasn't really pushed it, and told me I moaned at him when he cuddled me when I was asleep the other day 🤷.

I think this is totally normal.

Between children and men, the female body is always demanded for attention!

Be honest with your husband and say that you sometimes need time where your body feels your own. You are not being silly, you have a RIGHT to this.

I think yoga, exercise and meditation are great for grounding you in your body, as is simply eating well, a nice bath, moisturising yourself - all things done BY you FOR you and with no ulterior motive.

If even touching yourself feels too much, just have downtime that isn't even about your time, time for you and getting in touch with you.

When we feel our minds and emotions are demanded as well as our bodies, it can all be too much. Make sure your husband understands this and he can support you too. Tell him sometimes you just need a cuddle rather than a cuddle that leads to sex, or that some nights you just want physical space (even one night in separate rooms.)

Many women feel the same way. Best thing to do is be honest, don't feel guilty, honour what your body is telling you.

Yes, this is exactly how I feel!!! And my baby is younger than yours. 😬

I felt exactly like this. My relationship really suffered actually. I just couldn't stand to get touched once I eventually got DS off me- he needed to touch me, so I put up with it but it meant DH got the raw end of the deal, a hug, a kiss, even hand holding was too much. He started to resent my lack of affection (he wasn't pushing for sex) and if I forced myself I found it made me have really negative feelings towards DH which caused similar issues in the relationship.

I also resented DS for needing physical touch so much and ended up with PND.

I just wanted to be left alone with my body!

Dreading it all this time but planning to formula feed so I won't be needed as much.

Thank you so much for your experiences I’m glad it’s not just me and it’s normal!

Yes! I even feel like holding hands is too much. It’s been worse recently

I remember feeling just that. It does get better OP.

Are you breastfeeding OP? I found that bfing made it worse and was a symptom of nursing aversion for me. I didn't realise at the time that's what it was or there were things you could do to improve it!

I think it's like when I've been at work (bear with me!)
I take phone calls all day. 115 calls today. I got home and my mobile rang 😭 and no bloody way am I answering it. I don't ever speak to anyone on the phone when I'm home because I'm "phoned out"

I remember this feeling well, it was particularly bad after my second because the clingy toddler was added into the mix.
I even remember shouting at the poor dog when she came up to me for a wee pet.

It just felt like everyone wanted something from me all the time.

All I can say is that it got better but I still have days like it and my youngest is 2.

I know it’s just a phase and it won’t last, it’s interesting how it affects others! Good to know it gets better.

I am breastfeeding so at first it was just my breasts I found really sensitive, but like pp said now it’s even holding hands.

I’ll have a look into what I can do to improve it, thank you. I have told DH we need to really start basic like just simple touches through the day when we are together etc

Ollivander I totally get what you mean, it’s exactly the same. And as much as you (may) love it you need time to yourself to feel human.

I feel better just hearing from you all so thank you