Don’t know if I like new job!

[Polarbearflavour]

I probably am BU and need to give it more time...

I’ve been in a new job for a couple of weeks. It’s a new environment for me - a military base. I’m a civil servant. Everyone is nice and friendly enough. But I feel really isolated as I have my own office and I don’t really see anybody.

It’s not a busy job but at the same time I feel vaguely terrified when I do get asked things! The millitrary personnel tend to finish at midday on Wednesdays and Fridays and so of course the person currently doing the handover with me leaves then.

As I still don’t have any IT and it’s very laid back there in regards to timing, I’m just at home doing some more studying for the specialist qualification I need for this (semi technical) role. Which I’m ploughing through slowly but it’s not really holding my interest.

I’ve mainly done admin/secretarial roles before and I wanted to work in this new line of work as it’s a good career with better pay and more prospects.

But right now I’m just sitting at home having a big cry and feeling silly! I know I should just get on with it but I guess I don’t have much resilience and I have moderate anxiety at the best of times.

Totally normal! IME it takes three months until you start to settle into a new job and at least a year until you feel confident.

Oh and my office is freezing cold so I sit there with my coat on as it’s been broken for months apparently. I’m going to have to buy and take in my own heater. I should be studying but I’m just sitting and crying. Oh dear!

I was the same in a new job once. Very isolated, didn’t know quite what to do or even if I could do it properly. I had a big cry and breakdown to a slightly senior person in another section and she was very supportive and made me realise I pretty much had to create my own role. Nothing changed overnight but things did improve and I ended up staying there over 4 years and got great qualifications from it.

Hang on in there, it’s early days yet. Make a habit of leaving your office a couple of times a day when you are on base and talking to people so you don’t feel quite so lonely. Good luck.

Absolutely normal. It's also horrid to not have structure and not be 'busy'. Suck it up.... you'll get there.

Bummer about the heater! I took in my own kettle, coffee pot and mini fridge when I was feeling lonely. Being able to offer people coffee made things feel friendlier.

I move jobs a lot contracting. It takes at least a month to get your bearings & get au fait with other office practices. If you feel isolated, what do people do for tea/coffee, can you ask people who sit near your office if they want water/drink from kitchen while you are there? The kitchen is a good place to strike up a chat. Start with a smile & a simple hi : then as you see people regularly, start conversations (ask if they had nice weekend/are busy etc). Or ask if you can go along on canteen runs for lunch/drinks when they do? Chase maintenance re your heating, its miserable being that cold & getting your office sorted will help you feel more in control. It will get better!

See if it improves within 4 weeks, Keep hold of the receipt for the heater as you may be able to get the amount paid back.

I went to work at a job that previously had employed a temp for six months. I was there for 5miths before people spoke to me as they thought I was another temp 🤣🤣

Oh OP I feel your pain. The last job I started (not too long ago) was similar, isolated, had to devise my own schedule etc.

I was panicking too, I think it's fairly natural when you start a new job.

Two things helped me: first thing was an article I read in a glossy magazine in the hairdressers when I was about 6 or 8 weeks into the job and feeling very wobbly - I read an interview with some young woman who was the CEO of a major company (can't remember her or the company now!) basically she said harness the power of this phase, when you are feeling out of your comfort zone is when you are learning & growing, when your back is to the wall is when you will think if creative solutions to whatever issues you face in work - trust in these and in yourself.

Reading that, something just clicked in my head and I gave myself the permission to feel exactly as I did, to embrace it and to start daydreaming a little about how it could / would be better.

Which led me to the next thing that helped me - I realized that I would never be able to 'see' my job with fresh eyes again once I became familiar with it all and now was the perfect time to write down observations / query why things were a certain way / start to think about other ways of tackling stuff. This included the physical environment for me too - why is the office so cold - what can I do to change it; why is there no IT - how can I change that....and so on.

Chart things out on a planner and try to have an action plan for things which will automatically give you a structure to your day / week. Use as many people around you as possible to 'steer you ' along - you will v quickly see who might be ab ally and who might be best given a wide berth etc etc

I am there about 6mths now and have come a long way already, especially when I look back at early day notes!

Thank you for all the comments and advice.

I’m going to buy a heater for the office if they don’t give me one or fix the heating. I joined the officers mess as an honoury member but not been to any functions yet. I get coffee from there and have lunch occasionally too. It doesn’t help that I often feel (painfully) shy!

I really miss being a PA in London. I had posh corporate offices, I liked my boss and I knew exactly what I was doing. And I liked the other PAs. Now I’m working at a falling apart base with no heating! What have I done! 😂😭

So no IT today and my office PC also broke. The military person who is handing over to me just shrugged and went to the gym and said they all leave at midday on a Friday anyway. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I’ve gone home to do some studying. Or something along those lines!

I’m not crying about it any more but still not sure I like the environment. And I’ve literally done nothing this week and kept being told I can go home early to my studying.

Is it too soon to quit after a week?! 😂

Not much advice from me, but I will be changing from a corporate office to civil service soon, so I expect some level of office 'downgrade' and might be in your boat soon!

I suggest to watch the film Morning Glory and breathe in some enthusiasm from there.

Is it too soon to quit after a week?! Yes it's much too soon! Any job you move to, you'll feel disorientated and uncertain for the first 6 weeks - if you don't, it's a sign that it's so far within your comfort zone that you'll feel bored out of your mind within a couple of months. Give yourself till the end of February to really make a go of it. You're shy, so that's the side to work on. Find all the people you may have to deal with, and one by one invite them for a coffee, or ask for 15 mins of their time, to introduce yourself an ask them have the place functions. Make yourself speak to everyone you come across.

If on 1st March you still hate it, start job hunting. Learn as much as you can from this place to help with your CV, and move when you've got yourself a worthwhile job.

I quit a job I'd recently started in October. At the time I was sure it was wrong for me, crying to my DH that I wanted to quit every night... I ended up confiding in someone that I was unhappy and it got back to my boss and let to a showdown (she was not happy i'd not come to her first) which ended up with me resigning. I'm now temping whilst waiting for a suitable perm job.

I do wonder every day if I was a bit hasty in judging my job as unsuitable. Maybe if I'd stayed a little longer it would have got better, maybe it wouldn't. I'll never know now.

What I will say, and I learned the hard way, is that the stress of being unemployed/vulnerably employed/having a short lived job on my CV far exceeds the stress of thinking i was in the wrong job in the first place. I underestimated the impact of quitting - every day I question whether I did the wrong thing and probably will do so until i find my next perm job which could take months. So don't leave until you're sure. Don't be me!!

It can take a while to get used to working in that type of environment- you soon get used to the lack of basic amenities and IT haha; but there are a lot of opportunities and once you feel settled hopefully you will enjoy it more.

I do an admin job for the military also but as I am abroad I am not a civil servant.

I felt like quiting in my first week because I had no login and no one in my building could do my job or train me.

Fast forward a year and I absolutely love it. My job is fairly easy, sometimes a little stressful and I love the people I work with.

I am hoping to get a similar job within the civil service when I return to the UK.

Give it some time OP, I am sure it will improve.