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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for daughter to spend play times indoors?

27 replies

Januaryblues29 · 16/01/2019 13:13

My little girl is eight and has Down's.
She has always suffered with her chest (She had pneumonia as a baby and spent six weeks on life support) and was diagnosed with asthma at five.

She has a ventolin inhaler that we use as and when needed.
She has recently had a chest infection (been on amoxycillin) and this has set her back.
The other morning she woke up gasping for breath and clinging to me in fear. It was very distressing. She was terrified (and so was I).
Thankfully her inhaler worked quickly and she soon returned to normal with lots of cuddles and reassurance.
If the inhaler hadn't worked then obviously I would have called the paramedics.

My biggest fear is that it will happen when she is at school and I'm not there with her.
It seems to be triggered by her breathing in cold air outside when it is particularly cold and I know the weather is set to turn a lot colder.
Would it be unreasonable of me to ask for her to spend play times indoors while it is so cold and she is getting over this recent chest infection? (She just has the lingering cough but other wise well enough to return to school).

She attends a special school.
I know mainstream schools have a policy for outdoor play in all weathers (temperature wise) but not sure if there are considerations for children with associated health problems?

OP posts:

Apple103 · 16/01/2019 13:15

Yanbu. I wouldnt even think twice to ask. She is still recovering from her chest infection and I wouldnt want to risk it. Just though she might feel a bit left out if everyone else is playing outside. Maybe chat to the school and ask them how they could work around her. Hope she gets better soon.

Sparklingbrook · 16/01/2019 13:16

YANBU I think that sounds perfectly reasonable.

LittleScottieDog · 16/01/2019 13:19

As a teacher in a mainstream primary, I'd have no problem having her in the classroom at playtime every day. There are a million and one little jobs that she could do to help me or she could just sit and read. Definitely ask if she can stay in, YANBU.

DifferentDrum · 16/01/2019 13:20

It sounds perfectly reasonable and I would discuss it with teacher.

Sirzy · 16/01/2019 13:21

Personally (as the mum of a brittle asthmatic) I wouldn’t.

I would ask them to make sure she is wrapped up, and encourage her to wear a scarf/buff over her mouth but I wouldn’t be keeping her indoors - fresh air is good, time to play out with her Friends is good.

I assume the staff are aware of her asthma and how to treat?

UnderHerEye · 16/01/2019 13:21

YANBU, I have asthma which is very well controlled and Im generally fit and well, I don’t get colds or chest infections etc but the cold is my main asthma trigger!

I think under the circumstances it’s a perfectly reasonable request, hopefully when the weather gets a bit warmer DD will be able to play outdoors more

babysharkah · 16/01/2019 13:22

Same as @Sirzy. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool for ever and the school will know what to do.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 16/01/2019 13:23

Has your dd tried a kids snood? Ds had asthma and got him a fun one to wear over his mouth outdoors. I have asthma and central heating makes me bad. Prefer outdoor with scarf around face!

Parttimewasteoftime · 16/01/2019 13:27

Surely just while she is getting over last infection it would be OK?
My DS had to have indoor play when he broke a bone hope she's better soon.

PerfectPeony · 16/01/2019 13:30

That sounds awful! I hope you’re both okay.

I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all. Is there someone who can give you advice on what would be best? What does the GP say?

Jingledalltheway · 16/01/2019 13:32

I'm not sure what her having DS has to do with it. But as she's been unwell with her chest I'd just mention it to the school to keep an extra eye on her. I've done the same with my children when they were little. I agree with a snood, she can still play but reduces the cold air she's breathing in.

recklessruby · 16/01/2019 13:32

That sounds scary, OP. I would ask if she can stay inside in the very cold weather.
My friend has asthma. She's in her 30s and says it always gets worse in cold weather.

PinkAvocado · 16/01/2019 13:33

YANBU in mainstream schools those getting over chest infections with asthma would be allowed to stay in. Could you get advice from asthma nurse?

PatchworkElmer · 16/01/2019 13:34

DH and I both have asthma that’s aggravated by cold weather- he was going to go for a run the other night, but decided not to because of how chilly it was. To me, it was a sensible decision- as is keeping your DD indoors.

Smoggle · 16/01/2019 13:36

I'm not sure what her having DS has to do with it
Just the associated heart and lung issues maybe

Jingledalltheway · 16/01/2019 13:54

The reason I wrote that was so many people have asthma/lung problems and chest infections. I wasn't having a go. I'd treat all children with problems the same.

alphasox · 16/01/2019 13:57

Definitely talk to the school and request this. What have you got to lose in making the ask?
My son recently broke his arm and although he’s fine for school is excused from PE, and I asked his teacher to keep him inside at playtime as he’s a bit silly and probably couldn’t help myself and would be attempting the climbing frame/football etc etc. The teachers were very happy to set him up with colouring books and lego in the classroom for a few weeks and be wasn't alone.
Your daughter’s asthma and recent chest infection would IMO come under a similar sort of risk and I would hope the school would be sympathetic.

JeanMichelBisquiat · 16/01/2019 13:59

A boy with severe asthma in my DC's mainstream school was kept in for a couple of weeks when the cold damp was triggering his asthma (while recovering from a bad attack). I think they rotated friends to stay with him. Ask away! Hope she feels fully better very soon

UnicornSlaughters · 16/01/2019 14:03

I have asthma. Cold air can have me coughing and wheezing and struggling for breath very quickly. I'd definitely ask to keep her indoors for now. YANBU.

flamingofridays · 16/01/2019 14:05

I'm not sure what her having DS has to do with it
Just the associated heart and lung issues maybe

not only that, (and sorry if I have wrongly assumed op) but it may well be that she might not be able to recognise it coming on, or not communicate that to the person responsible for giving her medication, as soon as maybe other children would be.

I know from experience that if my inhaler is taken as soon as I start feeling even slightly breathless, its so much better than taking it when im gasping for air.

if being outside is a trigger for it (its sudden change in temperature for me) then I would agree op that she should stay inside where possible, even if its just while she recovers from the chest infection.

for the pp who said you cant wrap them up in cotton wool forever, no you cant, but you learn to live with asthma, you learn what makes it worse, what to do that makes it better. So what you call "wrapping in cotton wool" I would call damage limitation.

As an adult, I actively decide not to do things that trigger my asthma, so I would do that for my child as well.

JudasPrudy · 16/01/2019 14:12

There's wrapping children up in cotton wool. And there's taking sensible precautions. What OP describes is taking a sensible precaution for the benefit of her child's health.

bonnymiffy · 16/01/2019 14:14

My elder daughter (aged 7) also has Downs Syndrome, but not asthma. I'd ask! what harm can come from asking? The worst that can happen is school say no, but given the circumstances there should be some room to accommodate. Does your school have a "buddy" system? If school can't find a member of staff to be with her, then maybe a year 6 pupil might like to? I hope she makes a speedy recovery

astoundedgoat · 16/01/2019 14:17

She ought to be on a steroid inhaler too, because this will prevent her from having the asthma attacks in the cold air in the first place. My asthma presents in the same way and so long as I use the brown inhaler I'm fine. I wish I had had it as a child because I used to get it quite badly when I was small, and was only given a brown inhaler at about 12 and it wasn't explained to me properly how it worked, so I tended not to take it and guess what? I got asthma attacks!

Your daughter needs exercise and to run around outside with her friends. Staying indoors will only isolate her socially and affect her physical fitness. If she start on a steroid inhaler this week, within a week you should find that she wheezes a lot less when exposed to cold air. Can she take her inhaler herself unaided?

There's wrapping children up in cotton wool. And there's taking sensible precautions. What OP describes is taking a sensible precaution for the benefit of her child's health.

I agree - but there are other precautions she can take that don't involve reducing her daughter's physical activity.

BarbarianMum · 16/01/2019 14:29

I think you should speak to your GP or asthma nurse and see what they recommend. When I was a child there were all sorts of things asthmatic children wrre not supposed to do eg PE but the advise on this has very much changed. If a doctor/hcp advises she should stay in then of course she should.

Allthewaves · 16/01/2019 14:58

Yanbu I'd also ask GP for asthma nurse appoitment. She may need a preventative inhaler.

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