Can someone explain how my ADHD isn't just actually stupidity?

[CazedAndDonfused]

I mean no offence to anyone else with this diagnosis. But when applied to myself I just can't help thinking - how do I know for sure it's not me being stupid?

Part of my diagnostic report says a "sluggish cognitive tempo" surely that's just what was unkindly called "slow" when I was a child? Ie my brain really struggles to learn new things?

I sailed through school with good marks without studying until A level which I fucked up and since then everything has been hard. Basically anything requiring focus and concentration is very difficult. I could either pick up new skills in a lightening flash with no effort, or just cannot do it at all.

But once you get out of childhood and start to struggle with learning at adult level - does that not just mean I'm a stupid adult?

I cannot remember the last time I was good at anything. Probably at school. So does that not essentially just make me stupid?

Sorry I just don't get it and I've read articles online, I'm really overwhelmed and anxious right now and my fucking brain WILL NOT WORK.

Aw, bless, no.

Same here with A levels & learning, so understand exactly what you mean.

Are you medicated?

Are you overwhelmed, so do nothing instead?

Of course you're not stupid, you just take a little longer to process things, as do I, (ASC). You obviously haven't been taught any strategies to aid learning, nor coping mechanisms. That's all it takes.
Start with breaking things into five, then ten, then fifteen minute chunks, take a break, go back. Google coping and learning strategies.

Not medicated. Have to wait for an appointment to discuss medication options. I've no idea about learning strategies. I have worked out a few things I just do as part of my routine to cope with general life stuff I find hard, ie for not losing my keys/ phone/ wallet.

But when it comes to learning new things I've no idea.

Just read up on it and I can see why you'd struggle to learn stuff.

Do you have lots of thoughts crowding your brain?

Try carrying a notebook with you and writing down thoughts/to do things as you go, get them out of your head.

Then just pick one to do each day.

I need to break things down in small chunks, as I get distracted really quickly. So maybe learn a new thing for 5 mins, only then go do something else, maybe repeat later. Trying to force learning will be counterproductive as the stress will be counterproductive.

Forgive me if this is a stupid thing to say - I am not an expert on ADHD, but this is my response, as someone who doesn't know too much about it.

Your brain is a computer. Your ADHD doesn't reduce the power of that computer, it just mucks up some of the connections and processes - so you are not stupid, not at all.

You’re not stupid. I have two children with asd and adhd. I’m undiagnosed with adhd. My brain is like an Android whereas most of the world is like apple. My 8 year old often calls herself stupid and it breaks my heart. I won’t have her call herself stupid as she’s not. She’s wonderful. Terrible with organisation. But wonderful.

Sounds like you’ve overloaded your system. I have memory issues and slow processing speed so it is frustrating. But please don’t ever say you’re stupid because you’re not.

Hey! I have just been diagnosed with ADHD at the grand old age of 43! I still wonder if it’s just my “uselessness” and that I might be making it all up
somehow. You are stuck.
I find that I get brain fuel from some time away from normal routine on my own, or exercise, or something new and stimulating.
I have also watched online videos about ADHD, rather than trying to wade through books.
Look up what Russell Barkley has to say on YouTube videos.
Make a wall chart/time table to give structure and to schedule in “essential” tasks each day.
Good luck!

You probably have what's called a 'spiky profile' in terms of your cognition. This means that you're very bright in some areas, but slow in others. If this was represented in graph form, you'd see spikes up and down.

I have aspergers, which is related to adhd and have this problem. There are tools and strategies you can use to help you. Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not your fault.

Hello, 36 year old female with ADHD among other complaints here.

I know I'm not stupid, I'm academically brainy, I've achieved so much and gotten through so many terrible trying things.

But no one wants to employ me because they don't see past the initial barriers. I'm actually very good in jobs once I've learnt them!

Ah, really like the spiky thing, that explains a lot for me.

Plus the connections, it's also a fuel thing, in that the dopamine is intermittent.

The Russell Barkley stuff is good. Maybe look at "How to ADHD" on Youtube, she has lots of different videos that helped me.

Sluggish Cognitive Tempo is a subtype of ADHD and some believe it should be a different thing entirely. Russell Barkley is a specialist in this and has some good talks on youtube. If you struggle to follow (literally hours) of dialogue, try listening while you clean, jog, or iron.

If you were stupid you wouldn't be able to learn new things. SCT is more that it takes you longer to process them than most people. This is a usual problem with post 16 education as you are expected to be able to process things fast. But in reality does it matter how long it takes if you get there in the end? Someone with lower intelligence wouldn't get there in the end.

You might find something like Open University is better where you can take your time, though I personally would find the lack of a timetable to be impossible. I had success doing a part time degree (I somehow got in without A Levels) and essentially not doing anything else of substance around that degree, ie, the part time was my entire focus. OK I had a toddler and I was working part time - and I never finished it which was a massively stupid oversight. But that kind of studying worked. It is a case of working out what is important to you.

Not the easiest to get through. www.russellbarkley.org/factsheets/SluggishCognitiveTempo.pdf

The thought of having a diagnosed condition called Sluggish Cognitive Tempo makes me feel actively ashamed. It's embarrassing enough that it's written on my report

That just sounds like a politically correct way of saying I'm intrinsically lazy with no drive.

I'm doing a degree at the moment. I feel like I'm always running desperately but never get anywhere.

Interestingly, Russell Barkley in that pdf argues it shouldn't be called that at all, as it's distressing. He wants it called something else or not told to the person with it.

It's a bit like the deficit in ADHD, I don't have a bloody deficit, I have too much of all sorts of things and not enough of others!

Your far from stupid and there are strategies out there it is just finding the right ones for you. I have 2 who have adhd and they struggle a lot with simple things. We explain it as like a washing machine most people are on a steady spin and those with adhd are on the fast spin.
I found a YouTube channel called how to adhd and the presenter has adhd herself and she give really good explanations of how adhd can effect situations and such but she also gives strategies. My 2 love her and she has helped them to find ways to cope with their adhd but also not feel so alone. My dd1 is now saying she's stupid a lot less and has started saying she's just different.

Aww, honey, no. There are different types of intelligence. Not excelling in one doesn't make you stupid. Sounds like your self esteem isn't great at the moment. I'm sure there're lots of things you are good at, you just haven't found them yet (or are ignoring them in order to think about and worry over the things you find more difficult). Be patient with yourself.

If you got past GCSE before you started having problems, you've done better than a lot of people. About 30% of entrants to each subject fail to get a Grade C, so if you want to call yourself stupid for struggling at A-level, then that's a lot of other people you'll have to call stupid is well!

Self esteem is up and down. In day to day life when I'm relaxed - I come across as not stupendously stupid and I feel pretty good about myself. For example in my degree I'm confident voicing my thoughts in seminars and discussions. I feel like my opinions make sense at the time. I'm good at public speaking and good at expressing myself like this.

Then I have a deadline and suddenly I can't make my brain work in a structured way, either to learn or to produce stuff, without shitloads of anxiety and tears and just plain not being able to do anything staring at the same page of a book for an hour. Self esteem nosedives.

So now I'm doubting myself and feeling like a massive fake for who I am in class! What if I just pull the wool over everybodys eyes because I'm good at public speaking!

Plus I feel guilty because of the lecturers who supported me, wrote me a reference, etc.

YY absolutely and yes Barkley agrees it's humiliating.

It defo doesn't mean lazy either. We work twice as hard for a quarter of the results.

Sounds like imposter syndrome- 'What if I'm not as good as everyone seems to think?' I struggle with this too.

You clearly are intelligent and good at what you're doing. What makes more sense--everyone else is wrong about you and you've managed to fool them all with your excellent public speaking or you are wrong about yourself and better than you think you are?

But once we get those results ours are normally better and more interesting :o

Get a person/buddy to help you work, as it looks like having people around stimulates your brain enough to focus.

Sip sugary drinks (trust me, this one jars but Barkley recommends it) and put music on, don't focus on what you're not doing, add stimulus.

Coffee, tea, coke, whatever works for you until you've tried medication.

Apparently this book is good: Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: The Classic Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder [[https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0743264487/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_LVZpCbJWGR99?tag=mumsnetforum-211]]

I suspect I have ADHD but can’t see the point of pursuing a diagnosis. Keep meaning to get this book, but tbh I lack the focus to read a book so...

Fuck no it doesn't mean you're stupid.

I have ADHD. I also have an iq at genius level. I just CANNOT (not through lack of trying!), apply it to life. I have zero concentration span, zero motivation and just get bored after 2 mins of doing anything.

I literally can't complete a puzzle as my brain just fries. It's like a motorway in my head with cars whizzing everywhere at 100mph and they just. Won't. Slow. Down

Yet when I 'get' something (I'm particularly good at medical stuff), I am like a sponge a day become a near expert fairly quickly.

You're fine, OP.