AIBU to turn off the internet at 10 or 10.30 on a school night?

[BlackCatinChaos]

I have a 15 yr old DS who plays on xbox and talks to his friends sometimes noisily. I have asked him to be quieter usually after 9.00pm as I have a younger DD who goes to bed around 9.
If he refuses to be quiet by 10 or 10.30 …… AIBU to turn off internet?

This turning off of internet usually leads to him throwing a strop, slamming doors, shouting, us having an argument. :(

do it and be calm.easier ad than done but if he slams and shouts.just listen be calm and repeat.he will stop eventually.
or if it continues and his behaviour escalates then say for every time you react in this horrid way another minute comes off tomorrow.
depening on what happens though in the week or weekend there could still be allowed time of a late night. we found adding this in every now and then really helped him see were weren't just being ogres to be shits. and it was a random "hey luv extra 20 tonight If you want it."

We have always done this. At the moment the WiFi cuts out at 10pm for DD & DS3 (aged 14).

I had hoped that DS2 (aged 16) would be able to self-regulate by now, but we tried it and he can't (he has ASD & ADHD) so we've set his WiFi to cut off at 11pm.

Neither DD nor DS2 have any data credit on their phones. DS3 has a limited amount which he pays for himself. So when the WiFi goes off, the only options are to read their Kindles or go to sleep.

Completely fair. It goes off at 9pm ifDS can’t keeo quiet on it, or 9.30 other school nights. He then has half an hr - hr faffing it to watch something on Netflix before he gets in bed.

Xbox controllers live in a lockbox with a combination code on it in this house. They go in it on a Sunday evening and don't come out until the following Friday.

We also have a mesh system which allows me to turn off WiFi to any individual device at the tap of a button on an app. It is automatically timed to turn off the WiFi on all phones/tablets belonging to those of school age at times appropriate to their age and remains off until after they have gone to school the next day. I can override it if I want, or turn it off manually if they are not complying! It sounds Draconian and for the first week or so, there were strops, but now they accept it, and sleep much better as a result.

Discuss it in advance, not at the actual time you want him to turn off at.

Discuss it in advance, not at the actual time you want him to turn off at.

I agree with this. It needs to be a reasoned discussion that happens at a time when things are calm.

Yanbu

Our DD never showed any sign of troublesome internet usage, but nevertheless DH set up our router to shut off the wi-fi channel used by her devices between 10:30 pm and 6:30 am. I think he relaxed this at some point in the 6th form but she self-regulated her online time then.

Simple - tell him if he can't stick to the time limit then the Xbox gets taken away. He can have it back after a few weeks of good behaviour. If his behaviour doesn't improve in that time then sell the Xbox or give it to charity

Turn off the internet, hell no! Block the IP address of his xbox, hell yes. If he makes an agreement, he sticks to it and if he doesn’t there will be consequences. He needs to understand that his word should mean something.

YANBU, turn it off. Explain in advance that if he kicks off about it you'll be turning it off an hour earlier the next day (or altogether!)

Yanbu at all
My dsd is 9 all her devices go off at 8 and require a password from me to get her extra time.
Lights out are 8:30 it encourages her to read and prevents the screens affecting her sleep.
You can set up the Xbox live account with parental controls that stops the Xbox working at a preset time.

how many devices does a 9 year old have?? My 9 year old has none!

@RiverTam She just got a mobile phone for Christmas so she can walk back and forward to her new school on her own and keep in touch with her Mam.
She also has an Xbox 360 with Kinect and a kindle fire ebook reader which was last years Christmas present.

well - OK! I can't imagine having all that for a 9 year old but I daresay I'm a Luddite (DD will be getting a brick mobile for when she starts travelling to school alone - not allowed before year 5).

Can you sit down with him and look at recommendations for timings, effects of bluelight before bed, etc, and then see if you can come to an agreement about what might be reasonable/feasible and what works for both of you, or indeed all the family? He might throw less of a strop if he feels slightly in control of it.
Otherwise what Onecabbage said.