AIBU making friends when you get older

[Justagirlwholovesaboy]

How do you do it? Any tips, sound a bit desperate asking. I moved away from my home town so no school friends, not religious so no church. No children school aged. The only time I speak to people is when walking the dog. I worked but I’ll health made me give it up and now ...

I feel you OP. Could you take up a new hobby? You might meet people that way.

I’ve had lots of hobbies but they tend to be solitary ones. What hobby could help me? I sound pathetic I know

Volunteer! I made a ton of friends and found my OH through volunteering

Thank you I could do that, I used to do shop work so will enquire at some charity shops

I met a lovely group of friends at an exercise class at my local leisure centre, it's less hardcore than the gym so ends up as more of a social event!
Also made an effort to get to know my new neighbors when we moved in. We had a neighborhood Christmas party and summer party last year so made friends that way too.

Please don't feel alone in this as believe me there are many lonely ppl out there

Suggestions:

• volunteer for your local town team who organise community events
• see if there are local projects mentioned in paper which interest you and then contact to offer help
• post on your community facebook asking for info on local coffee mornings as you're new to area and would like to get to know ppl

What about joining the wi. I have met lots of friends that way. Before anyone says anything about age I am 30

Definitely try volunteering as that worked for me. Have made really good friends & found it boosted my self confidence as I could use my talents after not being in paid work due to a health condition.

I do think friendships are easier to make when you have a common goal/interest.

Plus when you're feeling more confident in yourself, it becomes easier to make friends.

I met my best friend on a Saturday fashion styling course I did years ago. Neither of became fashion stylists but we had an interest in common. Also if you could join something like an amateur dramatics society. Even if you are shy and don’t like acting, you can do behind the scenes. Or join a sports club. Or a political party. Or neighbourhood watch. Make yourself busy with several activities and you will soon get to know local people.

I'd recommend a choir or amateur dramatics company, you can help backstage if you don't fancy actually acting. They do tend to be very sociable.

Meetup. It's like a dating site for friends. You can pick the stuff or groups you're interested in and just turn up.

Forr me (but it's different for everyoneans in late 20s so maybe not considered older) the close friends I have now are all people I have made by going through something with them (be it uni, post grad, work, having a child and volunteering) my auntie took up quilting in her 50s and has made good friends there when before she didn't have lots of friends before. I often wonder if people go to church as they get older to make friends/connections as they get older too. But I doubt that's the main reason people people go. Prepare to be flamed for that comment, but it's a thought.

I joined a running club (as a non-runner) I fell lucky but the rest of the people who began at the same time are lovely.

Would you be interested in something like a book club?

Second to joining a young WI. Very sociable and good way to get to know local friends.

Join a club. As kids are now late teens I wanted to make new friends so I joined a cricket club. Now go to pub most Fridays and going on a 4 day cricket tour to Spain in March.

My mum retired and she has made friends through volunteering and joining a book group. Are you old enough for U3A? they run groups on all sorts round where I live anyway.

I’d say volunteering in a group activity is better than a club or class. Volunteer for something with reasonable numbers and poss not a charity shop as each day numbers are low and mostly older - nothing against older people but it doesn’t sound like they are who you want to meet.

Something like a national trust conservation day or weekend?

Or look up volunteering in your area online.

The doing of a practical thing together and working towards a goal gives you stuff to talk about and builds bonds and gives satifaction. Win win win.

It could be volunteering at a playgroup or school pta or anything really.

I don't have any particular unique tips.

I think when in a new area, you need to throw yourself into everything as often as you can and try not to worry if it doesn't happen, as friendships have to happen organically and are a lot to do with chemistry.

I'd advise you to join local groups, clubs, perhaps a gym or some kind of hobby that interests you. The idea being the friendships might develop slowly/with time rather than having an instant BFF.

Walking groups are good...

Volunteering is another good one, easier to have stuff in common.

Friendships could also be started online. Never know who may be close to you!

Some of my best friends live nowhere near me which is hard, but friendship can be felt across distance.

I’m 32. In the last 2 years I have made - for the first time in my whole life - some incredible friends.

Oddly enough I met them on a local Mums Facebook group. It took me a year to be able to brave going to an actual meet and finally put real life faces to the people who had supported me online. But it was the best thing I ever did.

I’ve never had proper friends or been very good with people (Autistic and have ADD) but somehow they like me

I feel a bit like that. I feel quite embarrassed that I don’t have many friends! I love making friends with people I meet but at my age people have their established social circle and I feel so different sometimes.

If your local area has a Facebook group it might be worth looking for posts about things like book clubs / craft clubs etc that you could join?

Look at the meet ups website. A huge range of different groups and activities you can do- as a one off or regularly. All completely with the aim of meeting up with others. NOT a dating site.