AIBU to tell parents of 11yr old boy he's been tricking classmates into accessing 'porn" website.

[douglethedachshound]

My DD has told me that a boy in her yr 6 class has been tricking his classmates into viewing an very inappropriate website. He was telling them it was to do with their interests.

I only know the parents vaguely, should I contact them and let them know?

No. You contact the school and let them deal with it. It's a massive safeguarding issue and they need to be aware and if necessary, inform the appropriate authorities. Please don't speak to the parents yourself.

No. You contact the school and let them deal with it. It's a massive safeguarding issue and they need to be aware and if necessary, inform the appropriate authorities. Please don't speak to the parents yourself.

^This.

Nobody viewed anything at school, the boy was just trying to trick the others into going on the site at their home,

Still tell the school.

It’s still something the school will deal with. Please tell the school. He could be experiencing issues at home that lead to this and might need help.

Doesn't matter. Tell the school. They are better placed to address it. You trying to will only cause problems.

But he knows the girls from school and is making the suggestion in school. It is a safeguarding issue.
If this is real you need to call the school in the morning.

Of course it's something the school needs to know.

Thanks everyone.
I've name changed for this because my daughter didn't want me to tell anyone. She did however agree to go with the majority Mumsnet verdict. I'll contact the school tomorrow.

This could be a police matter as the boy may be viewing this stuff at home.
However as this has arisen at school you need to speak to the head teacher and leave it to them to deal with.
To help encourage the head to do this it may be worth saying you will leave it to them to deal with and if it doesn't stop you will ask the police for advice.
I don't think the school would want the police getting involved so you mention them should produce a positive response.

my daughter didn't want me to tell anyone. She did however agree to go with the majority Mumsnet verdict

Good. Let us know how your year 6 child handles this seriously concerning safeguarding issue with the school. If we could get her thoughts on Brexit before you go?

School. Not parents - the worst case scenario is that the child is being abused and they'll need to get their ducks in a row before somebody is alerted to delete their internet history.

Always the school, always. They will not be able to give you any feedback. But they will be acting upon it.

Please don't take your Y6 child's instructions on safeguarding matters. You do have some responsibilities as an adult.

By the way, if I were told this at work and were asked to keep it quiet - or if I knew who you were IRL, I would be reporting this right now. If it were a child at work, I'd be contacting the Safeguarding Lead at home or going direct to the 24 hour service that exists specifically for such things. They must not be left, they must not be delayed, they have to be reported immediately.

Never promise secrecy about such things. You tell them that you have to tell somebody because it's about keeping children safe. And that you are glad that they have told you because this is what adults are for - to help keep children safe.

As soon as you go in tomorrow, tell them quietly at reception that you need to see somebody about a safeguarding matter immediately. They will see you.

Well said Mitzi.

To help encourage the head to do this it may be worth saying you will leave it to them to deal with and if it doesn't stop you will ask the police for advice.

I don't think the school would want the police getting involved so you mention them should produce a positive response.

You could do that, if you want to piss off the head. A better way to proceed would be to say you need to speak to someone about a safeguarding issue. Bearing in mind that the head may not be the designated person responsible for safeguarding and you may be referred to the deputy head or another staff member.

Tell the school

What Mitzi said.

Your child agreed to go with the majority Mumsnet verdict...i presume she is around the same age as the subject of the thread. Interesting...

Good. Let us know how your year 6 child handles this seriously concerning safeguarding issue with the school. If we could get her thoughts on Brexit before you go?
^Ha! Yep, this!

Oh my days, you can’t let your daughter influence what an adult decides concerning an adult decision. If my son was doing what the alleged boy was doing I’d absolutely want to know and would fully understand the schools invokvement.
Just for the record though, my boys, when that age were repulsed even talking about the facts of life, let alone porn. The fact this child is clearly getting kicks or even knows about accessing porn is terrible! He needs support and possibly other interventions.
I’d definately tell the school immediately.
Well done though to your dd for bringing this to your attention. As s result of this, she could well be significantly getting the young lad help he very much may need.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Firstly. My daughter is antibrexit!

I was really pleased that she told me about this issue. Such trust is not a small thing to be easily disregarded. I raised the idea of contacting the boys parents and she was horrified.

She knows I'm a Mumsneter and so I suggested asking you wise people, DD agreed to abide by majority vote,

I'm thinking this may be seen as manipulating mumsnet if so sorry,

Obviously if I didn't get the result I'd wanted I'd ask for another vote.

DD is ok with idea that I contact school tomorrow but as an 'anonymous' report.

FWIW I haven't looked at site, their idea of inappropriate may hopefully be ? I don't actually know, but they are very sheltered easily shocked children.

As are all children we would hope.

The boy in question is a lovely boy from a nice family. Of course I know this may mean nothing,

Thanks anyway x

Are you sure it is porn? This is the kind of shit we would do as kids to make each other watch stuff like the car going down the valley with a monster that jumps out halfway through.
Just saying, you may want to check the site out first

@DayMan first time I saw that I was watching on a desk top sitting on one of those wheelie office chair things. I jumped chair flew back across the room I landed on my arse on the floor with the kids absolutely howling with laughter.

Dayman

I'm not sure if it's porn, she hasn't told me the name of the site. I'm thinking probably inappropriate but not porn. Apparently a link he got from a football club member. It was a tricky thing for het to broach and I was pleased she did, I didn't want to repay her with being socially pushed out, which is why I asked MN!