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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Help with 7 month routine

23 replies

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 15:51

Not aibu but posting for traffic. I'm sorry. I've seen others try it anyway so I'm going to give the same thing a go.

I'm stressed. I can never seen to relax about my babies sleep, breastfeeding, weaning, playing, nappies. Even cutting her nails fills me with dread. I've never been a particularly anxious person. I'm a successful senior manager in a large organisation but when it comes to my baby, I'm a mess. Can't explain it, but basically always full of guilt that I'm messing it up. I'm going back to work when she's 9.5 months old in 9 weeks. She's currently 7 months.

I'm giving her a bottle of formula at lunchtime with the view of replacing her feeds 1 by 1 until I'm just doing first and last and overnight, if needed.

Does this sound like an ok schedule?

7am - wake and breast feed
8am - breakfast
9 am - nap
10am - wake
11am - bottle
12pm - lunch
1pm - top up breast feed, nap
3pm - wake
4pm - breast feed
5pm - dinner
6.30pm - bath and story, breast feed
7pm - bed

Help me. I'm second guessing everything and I'm driving myself mental.

Also, any tips for relaxing greatly received

OP posts:

Confusedbeetle · 15/01/2019 16:05

I assume she is well on the way with weaning now so the routine really is only around 3 meals a day and naps with feeds where needed. The only thing I would change is you association of bottle and breast feed separate from meals. You should start to bring them together and use the berast of bottle after the meal. That way she will reugulate how much she needs. If she has a feed an hour before a meal it will prioritise the other way, so for example if she wakes at 7 get up and go straight to breakfast with a top up breast feed if she wants. After lunch a bottle (although now is a good time to start introducing a cup. Water or full fat milk (which is fine before a year as long as it is not the main milk source. I would also introduce some finger foods at every meal. Many breast feeding mothers do manage to avoid goig on to bottles at all if you work it this way, Saves hassle,but your choice. By 9 months there is no nutritional need for a feed in the night, so keep that in mind. There will big developmental changes in the next 9 weeks. Its useful to think about the routine she will have then as well as the one she has now. Sounds like she is having a lovley routine but is 6 feeding sessions a day, Relax you are doing fine

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 16:17

Thank you so so much for replying. The weaning has been tough because I'm so anxious about her choking. I'm mashing her foods still but I have given her some toast and some sweetcorn crisp rings she's fed herself. The HV told me she should be having finger foods now but I visably shake and find myself picking her up and slapping her on the back when she gags. I had to leave my husband to give her the toast as I couldn't cope. I don't know what is wrong with me. Anyway, we are weaning with mashed stuff (she had porridge with cinnamon,nutmeg and banana for breakfast then tuna, haricot beans and avocado today for lunch. I've done pasta with tomato and garlic sauce with some cheddar for dinner).

Ok, so I'll swap the food and feeds, and give breakfast at 7am-ish, lunch at 11am and dinner at 4pm?

OP posts:

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 16:27

So like this?

7am - wake
7.30am - breakfast then breastfeed
9 am - nap
10am - wake
11.30am - lunch then bottle
1pm - top up breast feed, nap
3pm - wake
4.30pm - dinner and breastfeed
6pm - bath and story, breast feed
7pm - bed

OP posts:

user1491753603 · 15/01/2019 16:36

Your first schedule sounds right. Food before one is just for fun- milk should remain the main source of calories and nutrition. Your health visitor should be able to give more information but generally offer food around an hour after milk.

Jebuschristchocolatebar · 15/01/2019 16:39

Your schedule is very similar to mine but I give bottle first and then food straight after.

I do. 11.30 lunch, ,bottle and nap straight after between 12 and 2ish with a feed after he wakes up.

Bambamber · 15/01/2019 16:40

I agree with user, milk should ideally be given before food still at that age. Solids are more for exploring and trying a new tastes at that age, most nutrition would still be coming from milk. Although of course everyone has their own ways of doing things, that was just what I was recommended to do and worked well for us

peachgreen · 15/01/2019 17:07

OP, this kind of helpless anxiety was a symptom of PND for me. Just gently suggesting you might want to mention it to your GP. I remember how horrible it was to be constantly thinking about what a mess I was making of everything and wondering why I couldn't just get it right.

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 17:26

I am slighty concerned about that peach. Perhaps I'll mention it to the GP

OP posts:

Lazypuppy · 15/01/2019 17:32

@Reccy2018 is she going to nursery when you go back to work? If so ask about their schedule and start lining up to that

Lazypuppy · 15/01/2019 17:33

@Bambamber

I agree with user, milk should ideally be given before food still at that age. Solids are more for exploring and trying a new tastes at that age, most nutrition would still be coming from milk.

Thats not always true. By 9 months my dd was having 3 full meals, plus 2 snacks a day, she was defi itely getting the majority of her calories from that that her formula.

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 17:36

She's going to a childminder. I'm going to sign the contract tomorrow so will ask the CM then. Good point.

OP posts:

lifecouldbeadream · 15/01/2019 17:39

I do think you need to speak to the HV or GP. That level of anxiety needs sorting as a priority/ not just for you, but for your little one too. I saw a good poster the other day about feeding children and choking- if they are red in the face and loud- leave them to cough it up- blue in the face and quiet they need help. I thought that was an easy ish way of being a bit more relaxed about it.

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 17:51

The really weird thing is is that she is totally silent when gagging and just goes very still, so I can never tell if it's OK or not. I had my mum with me the other day and tried some cooked carrot sticks, and she just breaks off big bits and then gags, and tries to swallow again and gags and it goes on and on and she doesn't spit it out or try a smaller bit. My mum just said keep doing the mash for now as I was clearly not able to leave her to do it because I just pictured her choking continously. Gah! Don't know what to do!

OP posts:

Lazypuppy · 15/01/2019 18:40

Gagging is good, it is how baby learns, choking is what you look out for.

Most important thing is you can't panic otherwise baby will pick up on that panic. Have you done a baby cpr/first aid class? Might help you learn the difference

user1491753603 · 15/01/2019 18:52

This is the chart I always used to go by

thewinehasgonetomyhead · 15/01/2019 18:58

Your routine sounds very good and similar to how my day goes with 8 month DD2.

You don’t HAVE to give your baby finger foods at all, especially as it is causing you so much anxiety. Blend her food, then as she gets bigger move on to mashing it with more and more lumps and introduce more finger foods in the future as you become more confident. YOU are her mum, not the health visitor. If it is making you anxious this will pass onto your daughter and weaning should be an enjoyable time for you both. Just go with the flow and trust your instincts more. It sounds like you’re doing fantastically well OP.

Stealthtoast · 15/01/2019 19:31

Hello, I thought your first routine looked fine too

Carrot is quite difficult for them(/ you!) at first as bits do break off. Try a long piece of ripe pear with the skin on, finger of toast with the crust on, broccoli floret a little bit overcooked. My 9 month old has found all of these less easy to choke on!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 15/01/2019 19:36

Your first routine pretty much matched mine at that age- food before 1 is for fun, bf or formula takes presidency (I always started and ended the day with bf or formula.)

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 20:14

Thanks so much everyone. I'm going ti have a chat with the GP, try a few more soft cooked florets alongside some mash and try to be relaxed about the above routine.

It's all feeling a bit hard at the minute but I'm not sure why! I'm longing for the newborn days, although my husband says I can't be remembering how tough they were! Haha.

OP posts:

jamoncrumpets · 15/01/2019 20:21

My 7mo gags a lot, at new tastes, textures etc. Gagging is their reaction to new sensations. Gagging isn't choking btw. Choking is totally different.

Original poster

Reccy2018 · 15/01/2019 20:49

Yeah, I think my problem is that although I know gagging is ok, my daughter doesn't gag very efficiently and because I'm so bloody anxious I just assume she's choking when it's probably ok. When i tried to give her her beaker of water the other day, my hands were shaking so much I couldn't hold it for her. I know gagging is OK but I don't trust myself to notice when it's turned to choking, so I intervene far too much.

I'm following a weaning book which doesn't suggest finger food until 10 months anyway so hopefully I'll be ok by then!

OP posts:

oflow · 15/01/2019 20:50

I second talking to your gp. My daughter is 1 now and we gradually found s flexible routine at about 8 months. I didnt write it down, I followed her cues each day and still do. Try to just go with the flow of the day and keep meeting her needs.

Zara85 · 15/01/2019 20:54

My 8mo has the following routine if any help...

7am - wake
7.30 - milk
8.30 - breakfast
9.30 - nap for 1 hour
12pm - lunch
1.00 - nap for 2.5 hrs
3.30 - milk
5.30 - dinner
7pm - milk and bed

My little one dropped his late morning feed pretty much as soon as he started weaning. I understand that milk is more nutritious to them at this age but I couldn't get him to stop eating, he just loves his food (his older brother took a lot longer to wean onto 3 meals a day).

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