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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have eaten an unauthorised chip?

108 replies

discusstin · 15/01/2019 14:49

I was at a lunch with external visitors and senior staff in the corporate hospitality suite at work. We were given fish and chips and as we were served a colleague leapt up out of her chair and dashed off, saying she would be 'only a moment.' The colleague has form for disappearing for large periods of time as she is extremely busy.

So, we all sat there looking at the food and waiting for her to come back. Time dragged on the and food got colder and colder. I got hungrier and hungrier. And then....

I surreptitiously took a (cold, manky) chip and ate it. Everyone looked at me. The visitors stared hopefully at the most senior member of staff who said "Let's not wait for X to get back, let's continue."

Everyone started to eat and then the most senior person said:

"The problem with social mobility is that you find people in professional positions who just are not aware of correct social conventions due to their upbringing," as she stared pointedly at me.

AIBU to think that my appallingly working class eating of an unauthorised chip is not as rude as her appalling lack of manners in bringing it to everyone's attention in that way?

OP posts:
Rainbunny · 15/01/2019 15:01

Well she is clearly ill bred herself to make an insulting comment about you in front of colleagues and outside visitors. I would also complain actually, she deliberately belittled you by insulting your social status and your manners. Disgusting behaviour and I would be furious in your place. It's 2019, she can't get away with that shit now (I hope anyway...)

Stephisaur · 15/01/2019 15:01

I was going to say the same as Chrisjen

You don’t wait if the food is hot, unless you are dining with the queen.

Assuming she isn’t the colleague who disappeared, then you should have all enjoyed your food hot!

joanmcc · 15/01/2019 15:01

"someone within the organisation"

Either way she was massively unreasonable, but if someone within my organisation I'd be giving serious consideration to a formal complaint.

itsbritneybiatches · 15/01/2019 15:03

Time and a place.

Stealing a chip just isn't a big deal.

Your colleague probably made the whole room uncomfortable with her comment.

People around you probably just wanted a chip aswell.

She's a silly bitch.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/01/2019 15:03

Are you sure they weren't looking at you but talking about the woman who just rushed off with no explaination? Surely that's bad manners to walk off and expect everyone to wait wondering how long you're going to be?

drspouse · 15/01/2019 15:06

I'm ragingly middle class and I'm always picking at food before everyone else starts.

Jaxhog · 15/01/2019 15:07

if there are less than 6 or 7 people, then you'd wait for everyone to be served before starting. But if there are lots of people then you can just tuck in, although mostly you follow what the host does. But if someone leaves the table after everyone is served, you don't sit around waiting if the dish is hot.

Absolutely. Class doesn't come into it.

DarlingNikita · 15/01/2019 15:08

Are you sure they weren't looking at you but talking about the woman who just rushed off with no explaination?

It's still rude. But anyway the OP says she 'stared pointedly' at her.

Salmakia · 15/01/2019 15:09

This is the kind of thing I'd document and when I had two more examples would be raising in a grievance meeting with my union rep alongside me. You don't need to let this go.

LordEmsworth · 15/01/2019 15:09

The correct response would have been:
"Yes, it's incredibly rude to wait until hot food is served then disappear and expect everyone else to wait for you. But I'm not sure that's an indicator of social mobility - common people like me can be entirely considerate of other people!"

The most senior person was being an absolute twat, and had I been there, I would have been embarrassed for her.

KurriKurri · 15/01/2019 15:10

I also thought she may have been referring to the person who went off. Leaving the table when a meal is served and not coming back for ages is incredibly rude.
She still shouldn't have made any comment though.
To a pp - what is wrong with fish and chips at a corporate do ? - it's perfectly acceptable meal, they were probably glad of a hot meal (or sadly a cold one in this case). I'm sure corporate types don't only eat smoked salmon on blinis (or whatever posh people eat Grin)

Purplecatshopaholic · 15/01/2019 15:11

Dear God. That is all

aconcertpianist · 15/01/2019 15:12

Totally agree with Chrisjen

It is very non u to leave hot food to go cold: ask any Mitford sister!

Have a quiet word with her, she does sound rather a parvenu! Smile

BumbleeBeeMe · 15/01/2019 15:13

I'd say it's much ruder to leave the table when everyone has been served their food.

Miane · 15/01/2019 15:13

The problem with social mobility is that you find people in professional positions who just are not aware of correct social conventions due to their upbringing," as she stared pointedly at me.

You see I’d have smiled sweetly and said “The correct social convention is not to mention anyone else’s upbringing”

Firesuit · 15/01/2019 15:14

I'm surprised anyone waited. I've only ever seen the rule about waiting applied in the home, in every formal occasion everyone eats as soon as the food arrives. I've not had dinner with the queen though.

(I thought this thread was going to be eating the departed colleagues chips.)

solongthen · 15/01/2019 15:18

No one with manners would comment on this, it shows a total lack of class.

You should have said they were lucky you didn’t put the chip up your nose to keep it warm.

veggiepigsinpastryblankets · 15/01/2019 15:18

People who were rude, in order:

  1. The colleague who took off leaving everyone's lunch to go cold.
  1. The senior person who made a passive aggressive comment, referred to someone else's etiquette, and then topped it off by making it about class which is the ultimate in crassness. Assuming the senior person is in the place of the host here, she should have cheerfully gone along with it so as not to draw attention to your misstep or make you feel in any way uncomfortable. At most she could get away with a discreet eye roll.
  1. Maybe at a stretch you for having a cheeky chip.

The ultimate in rudeness is being inconsiderate and/or unpleasant, and you were neither of those things.

Kariana · 15/01/2019 15:18

That's a disgusting thing for someone to say about another person.

Also if someone has left after food is served then you don't wait for them to return. The correct social convention would have been for the departing colleague to say "don't wait for me". Even failing that one of the senior people should have told everyone to tuck in. How completely rude to make visitors wait for their meal because one of your own staff has departed of their own free will. It's her who needs a lesson in manners!

Firesuit · 15/01/2019 15:18

Actually, rereading the OP, it does sound like she was talking about the person who left the room, given what she said just before. Possibly she was staring at OP because OP had in effect raised the issue.

BarbaraofSevillle · 15/01/2019 15:20

Everyone in the room probably heaved a sigh of relief when your unauthorised chip nibbling prompted the senior into action to get everyone eating rather than sitting their like lemons.

Meh, I probably committed a far worse faux pas than that when I went to the toilet during the speeches at a conference dinner. They had gone on for ages and to be frank, if I'd sat there much longer I would have wet myself. Several other women also entered the toilets shortly after me, so I probably started a mutiny.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/01/2019 15:20

I too thought you'd eaten a chip off someone else's plate Grin

The colleague who left the table was rude
The person who made the class comment was really rude. And wrong

You, on the other hand, ANBU

MixedMaritalArts · 15/01/2019 15:21

You should have picked up second chip and placed it on her shoulder !

Rumboogie · 15/01/2019 15:21

I'm reminded of the story of an (aristocratic) guest of the Queen Mother, who so far forgot herself as to drink tea from her saucer. Rather than have her guest embarrassed the QM immediately did likewise!

RB68 · 15/01/2019 15:22

I would have thought she was referring to the member of staff that buggered off, I would also have said sooner, shall we start or it will all get cold...