Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To buy my DD's stepmum a present?

44 replies

CrumpBrunette · 14/01/2019 21:39

My DD's stepmum has a big birthday next week and I'm wondering if it would be weird if I bought her a little gift? She's brilliant with my DD and a really lovely stepmum. We're not 'friends' as such, above and beyond friendly chit chat on pickups and if we bump into each other. Would a little gift (nice bottle of something or the likes) say "thank you for being a good stepmum" OR would it scream "weird ex wife"? 😂

OP posts:

MoorMummy · 14/01/2019 22:01

This is so lovely and I’m sure she will be very touched. So refreshing to read of such positive interactions 😊

E20mom · 14/01/2019 22:01

I agree it's a lovely thought

WellBHoise · 14/01/2019 22:03

Absolutely lovely thing to do.

Honeyroar · 14/01/2019 22:03

As a stepmum, I'd have been absolutely touched if I'd received something like that, especially if you added a gift tag that said thanks for being great.

Gumball54 · 14/01/2019 22:03

Lovely idea. I think it’ll be nice to give it from you as well, leave dad to get the present from your daughter.

jessstan2 · 14/01/2019 22:04

It would be a lovely gesture to buy her a gift and a card. Something pretty that wraps up well, maybe perfume if you know what she likes.

for you for being so nice.

Betty777 · 14/01/2019 22:16

Yep another stepmum here who would like presents from S's mum.

Even if it did seem a bit much from you (i.e. if the rest of the family are more reserved) it's such a great message to give your DD that it shouldn't matter, and could totally set the tone for great future family relationships

M0reGinPlease · 14/01/2019 22:18

What an absolutely lovely thing to do and what a fantastic family you have made for your daughter.

imlateagain · 14/01/2019 22:18

Not weird at all, but lovely. I'm a stepmum and 'real' mum and I often exchange gifts for birthdays, Christmas etc. She's very generous with my children too (her children's half-sisters). It makes things much nicer for all the children. My kids think of her as family.

ThatWasThat · 14/01/2019 22:29

Excellent plan, go for it!

Yabbers · 14/01/2019 22:30

Confused as to why this would be considered weird.

Lunde · 14/01/2019 22:32

I think it is a lovely idea - it's great that you have a good relationship.

I went to a 50th Birthday a few years ago where the blended families got on really well and the 3 tier cake was made by the ex-wife as a present for the new wife

Original poster

CrumpBrunette · 14/01/2019 22:33

Thanks again all. Yabbers - I tend to overthink things and come to the worst-case conclusion. In this case that she'd think I'm the weird ex wife who is over friendly... I know!!

OP posts:

Waddsup12 · 14/01/2019 22:40

I have a friend who lets her DH's ex and her 2nd DH have holidays in their house (nice location by the sea), whilst they go away...they're older now and they all get on.

Apparently, it unhinges her SiL...

Lovely, thoughtful OP.

Honeyroar · 15/01/2019 00:34

Even if worse case scenario came true it’s better to be weird ex wife who is over friendly than weird ex wife who makes life a misery!

LeilaDarling · 15/01/2019 07:18

Just amazing

rightreckoner · 15/01/2019 07:24

My mum and stepmum exchange gifts. The divorce happened 45 years ago and even at my age I’m glad they have a decent relationship. Go for it OP.

finchers · 15/01/2019 07:59

You are lovely OP

Sparkletastic · 15/01/2019 12:18

What an absolutely lovely gesture. And if you put the sentiment behind it in a card I can imagine she would be very touched.

Flip

1 2