to dread my wedding

[LetThemEatSweets]

I am so nervous about standing up in front of people. I NEVER show affection to the outside world, even hugging makes me uncomfortable. I can't talk about my feelings or my relationship with people either, I find myself feeling very awkward and embarrassed. The wedding will only have immediate family in a register office but even that's too much.

I'm considering not doing it at all as the ceremony will make me too anxious. When we booked it felt so long away, but now time is creeping up.

I am nervous about telling work too, and having to explain the wedding day to everyone. I really hate attention. They always make a big deal when people get married with gifts, songs, speeches etc and I really do not want to do that.

I think people think I'm odd because I don't talk about my DP like others do. I am a private person, but sometimes I am embarrassed to tell people someone is attracted to me as I know I'm not good looking. I feel everyone is judging me and thinking I'm weird or wondering who would be with me.

I know this all sounds insane. And it's not just that, I hate planning too. I am stressed about finding a dress and all the other things I have to do.

@LetThemEatSweets but you don’t have to at work?!
Or at least not straight away, or just go in and tell them afterwards.

They’re hardly likely to start singing abs doing a collection after the fact.

It sounds like your anxiety is making you catastrophise when there are solutions to all of your worries

I know it sounds cliche, but honestly, when the day comes you don't know that anyone else is there.

I was crapping myself about being in front of so many people as I can get a bit awkward and don't like being the center of attention, but when the day came, we might as well have been the only two at the ceremony.

1. Are you having therapy for what I would call extreme anxiety? If not, I think that's worth exploring.
2. If it causes you this much anguish, why are you getting married at all? Do you HAVE to?

Sounds a lot like how I felt, I was fine until the night before the organising kept me busy went home after decorating the hall the night before my hubby went home with his brother and wife.
I went home with my cousin who was heavily pregnant so she went straight to bed I couldn't sleep nerves getting to me had diazapam nothing helped the next day I couldn't eat kept pacing thought nope can't do it.
Finally got ready 2pm wedding at registry office got there sipping water. Told registry office people how nervous I was they said if you need to pause have some water it's ok they were lovely.
But here's the best bit as soon as I walked up the aisle and saw my husband all anxiety just went sounds soppy but he smiled at me and I felt calm I was marrying the man of my dreams the service was over in a flash. Just remember why you are marrying your partner and breathe. Good luck.