Upset with DM

[Kaboomba]

I currently off sick from work with pregnancy related complications and 7 months pregnant so probably a little hormonal and have already been crying down the phone to DH about it

Anyway my step dad arrived today to help out with my little boy today (currently not very mobile and if I were working he’d be with him on a Monday) and told me that he and my mum would be away for my birthday (4 nights total) I had already made plans with my mum for my birthday and she’s made a big deal about not going to another event because it was my birthday.

My mum hasn’t told me anything about this getaway, I suspect that she’s gotten DSD to tell me so she didn’t have to (she has precious for this). I didn’t say anything to DSD about it but I’m really upset that I’m being told my birthday isn’t important and the plans we had aren’t happening.

My DM would and has hit the roof if I even mentioned not being with her on her birthday ( I am expected to take annual leave from work for her if it falls on a week day) this year I even went to and paid for a cocktail making class and afternoon tea that she wanted to go to for her birthday despite being pregnant and unable to participate in most of it.

Do you think AIBU to have a word with my DM about it or should just let it lie?

I would let it lie but stop making so much fuss on her birthday- certainly never take annual leave again.

What is it with adults and birthdays?
Yes, it's nice to celebrate around the time but to expect to take a day off work for your own birthday let alone someone else's is absolute madness.

However, putting the birthday aside, I'd be miffed if my plans for a day out were dropped without so much as an apology or explanation.
Given the fuss your DM expects for her birthday, it makes it doubly annoying but I would take it as a precedence that the actual birthday day is no longer so significant.

Now you know exactly what to do for her birthday. Shame on her for letting you down even though she made plans with you and didnt have the decency to tell you. Definitely stop making her a priority as you are an option to her.

Stop using up your annual leave for her birthday. That's ridiculous.

Yes it's rude to cancel plans without letting you know. You can let her know you're upset but I think you need to take a step back from her birthday. You're both behaving like children.

it would be one thing if she'd called and said "this amazing holiday offer clashes with your birthday" but she didn't, which I think is really crap of her.

Thanks guys! I know it sounds childish but no one ever really makes a big deal of my birthday and I was really happy that we had made plans and something concrete.

Will make sure to not make her birthday my priority anymore!

This sounds like an excellent opportunity to enforce normal behaviours and boundaries around birthdays in your family. Taking a day of annual leave for your mother's birthday is batshit crazy.