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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wibu to ask for the money?

44 replies

Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 12:26

I've been having a tough time recently and suffering from a period of mental ill health which has meant I've had to have time off work and am currently on SSP.

As such my wages are really low and I'm struggling for money. My job absolutely sucks and is part of the reason for my ill health, my manager is of the opinion that I should just 'suck it up and get over it' RE my depression and anxiety so every day I'm in work with her is awful. It's a minimum wage job as it is and my contract is being changed and my hours cut as of the new year. Basically, I desperately need and want a new job.

The industry I work in involves a lot of late nights and weekend work. I live quite rurally and am reliant on public transport, making finding another job very difficult. There are lots of jobs available but the vast majority involve a long commute, which I am willing and happy to do but can't actually achieve due to the crappy public transport.

I recently saw a motorbike for sale that would enable me to get back on the road and look for better jobs. It's in very good condition and very cheap for what it is, mainly due to its age and the fact it's winter and no one is buying bikes! I don't have enough in savings but I know getting it would really help me out and enable me to get a better job.

Wibu to either ask my Dad for the money or get a payday type loan. I have no access to other lines of credit at all, can't get loans, credit cards or extend my overdraft. I've worked it out and I can just about afford the repayments once I'm back at work and on my normal salary but hopefully I will get a better job to go to once I'm mobile again. I really don't want to ask my Dad as he has already helped me out so much and I already owe him money but it would save me paying a ton of interest and if the worst happens and I lose my job he won't be putting on extortionate charges.

So wibu to ask him for the money? Should I get a loan? Or should I just not get it and carry on as I am for now?

OP posts:
Bambamber · 14/01/2019 12:30

Please do not get a payday loan.

What if the weather really deteorates, how would you get around then? You wont want to ride in icy weather. Do you already have motorbike gear? It's costly, especially if you are going to be riding this time of year as ideally you would need heated gear

tiggerkid · 14/01/2019 12:30

If dad can and would be willing to help, why not? I would probably stay away from the payday loans unless you absolutely have no other choice! The interest rates on those are extortionate!

Missingstreetlife · 14/01/2019 12:33

Definitely don't do payday loan.

Queenofthestress · 14/01/2019 12:36

Please please remember to factor in gear, for decent semi-cheap stuff you're looking at 200/300 quid, always get new and not second hand as me and DP found out when he came off last year, and remember all the extras too like mot, insurance, services when you're looking at money. Plus unless you have a license already it's pricey as well.

You'd be better off with a moped

maras2 · 14/01/2019 12:37

If you think that your dad can afford it then ask him.
I'd hate to think of my kids taking out a loan and would gladly help them (even if they still owe me Smile
Hope that you find a job that suits and doesn't make you unhappy.
Best wishes Mx.

Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 12:37

I already have very decent gear and helmet as I've been riding all year round for over 4 years. I was riding every day up until I was hit by a driver and my last bike written off and I haven't had the money to replace it. Fortunately I live in quite a mild part of the county where is doesn't really get that cold but even so I've commuted in winter many times before and the weather doesn't bother me at all.

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 14/01/2019 12:40

None of the back story is needed, ask your dad for a loan, don’t get a payday loan.

Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 12:41

I also already have a CBT but can't ride anything larger than a 125cc - mopeds aren't really an option as most are just as expensive if not more so than a small bike because the demand is much higher and I wouldn't be able to keep up with traffic on major A roads.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 12:42

@HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend I just put that in to illustrate that at the moment it's more of a necessity rather than a 'want' if you see what I mean. Means to an end to get a new job.

OP posts:
potatoscone · 14/01/2019 12:48

That's a great long justification, but I think you know deep down buying something that has weekly running costs isn't going to help you at this stage.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 14/01/2019 12:54

Didn't the drivers insurance pay out for your bike?

Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 12:54

Oddly, it would actually save me money as I'm paying out so much in bus fare! Insurance is cheap, petrol is very cheap and tax is only £17 for the whole year. I can easily afford to run it based on what I'm paying out on public transport.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 14/01/2019 12:56

Ask your dad. Do not get a payday loan - that way madness lies. A motorbike is a great idea - cheap to run. I really hope you get a new job soon, I have been in the position of a crap job affecting my mental health so I feel for you.

Juells · 14/01/2019 13:01

my manager is of the opinion that I should just 'suck it up and get over it' RE my depression and anxiety so every day I'm in work with her is awful. It's a minimum wage job as it is and my contract is being changed and my hours cut as of the new year.

Horrible person.

noctu · 14/01/2019 13:14

Ask your dad and if he says no, he says no
I'm sure he'll be supportive of something which will help you commute to work etc

SleepingStandingUp · 14/01/2019 13:18

Do NOT get a payday loan. Thry are designed to exploit your vulnerability and make money out of you.

Re Dad well only you know if its unreasonable. Is he a pensioner too poorto put the heating on or could he afford to lend it to you? Do you have a good relationship? Would you feel he'd hold it over you?

babysharkah · 14/01/2019 13:20

did you not get a payout for your original bike?

Jaxhog · 14/01/2019 13:24

Ask your dad. Do not get a payday loan - that way madness lies

But make sure you have budgeted for repaying your Dad, and that you do. Believe me, this is a whole lot better than a payday loan. These are aimed at very short term borrowing.

Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 13:25

My dad is a wonderful man and we have a great relationship, he and my mum are very supportive and they know how difficult things have been for me lately. The main problem with asking them is me, I feel like I've already asked too much of them and as I already owe money I feel it's cheeky fuckery to ask for more. They're alright for money generally but not sure of the exact finances so I don't know if they could afford it. It's more the principal.

The driver's insurance did pay out for the bike but as it was only a cheap Chinese model I only got scrap value for it, not enough to come close to buying a new one.

OP posts:
Confusedalarms · 14/01/2019 13:30

DO NOT get a payday loan. Sorry to shout at you, but really, you mustn’t do that. Like maras2 I’d be horrified if one of my kids took out a payday loan instead of asking me.

Your dad sounds nice. Ask him for another loan. If he says no, please still don’t get a payday loan. You could end up in all sorts of trouble if you do.

I hope your dad says yes and that you can get a decent bike. You may even find your mood starts to lift once you’re mobile. You’ll have more options for commuting, and a better chance of finding an employer who isn’t a total bitch.

Rio18 · 14/01/2019 13:35

Are you paying your dad back regularly the money you already owe?

I would say if you are then ask him, but if you're not then it is cheeky fuckery to ask for more.

HavelockVetinari · 14/01/2019 13:36

When did you take your CBT? If you've not passed your full test within 2 years you have to repeat it, otherwise you're not allowed to ride. Don't forget to factor that cost in too!

Original poster
Sharkirasharkira · 14/01/2019 13:43

The CBT is fine at the moment, I keep having to repeat it as I don't have the money for the full license yet Sad

I haven't started paying my dad back yet but mainly because with my rent, travel and other expenses I have nothing spare to do so. Even less so now my hours have been cut. I'm desperately trying to cut my outgoings but there is just nothing to cut back anymore. Hence why I feel bad for asking for more and also why I am desperate for another job!

OP posts:
Justaboy · 14/01/2019 13:49

Your mamger employer or idiot well I'd never wish a depressive ilnness on anyone burt some people come so close to the mark;!(

DO NOT get a payday loan!, that way lies your fiscal existence in ruins.

Do go to the bank of Mum and Dad he sounds like a decenet bloke and do tell him how you've budgeted it all out and how much you need I feel sure he'll help you're doing your best to get of yer bum and find work so thats a worty thing that needs help.

In fact if hes that fiscal wise he'll see it as a good investmnent in that it enables you to work and possibly earn more just had to do this with one of my offspring too!

KC225 · 14/01/2019 13:51

Another, do not get a pay day loan.

You need to write everything down. Cost, running costs of the bike versus public transport costs etc. Show him how you will manage your finances and make sure he knows you have a commitment to pay back his money. Say you will set up a direct debit to cover this loan and a token amount of the current monies owed. Even show him other jobs that you can apply for - seeing you being positive about the New Year will go in your favour.

Good luck OP.

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