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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a very sad teething baby with an ear infection for two nights?

18 replies

AveAtqueVale · 14/01/2019 07:24

Basically, I have to sit a practical exam split over tomorrow and Wednesday. I was always going to stay away tomorrow night, but as it doesn’t start until the afternoon tomorrow I was going to travel up in the morning, partly for cost reasons, and partly because I didn’t want to be away from DC for two nights (DS2 in particular is only 18 months, still breastfed and cosleeping). BUT now he’s teething (and really suffering with it), and has a bit of an ear infection, and I’ve barely slept for the last few nights. I’m completely exhausted and starting to feel pretty grim myself. DH has tried to take a turn but if I’m anywhere in the house he only wants me, and I just can’t leave him to get hysterical while I’m there and could help. When I’ve stayed away before and it’s just DH he’s not exactly happy if he wakes in the night, but will grudgingly settle for him, and is absolutely fine during the days. I’ve never left him when he’s been miserable like this though.

DH thinks I should go today and stay up there tonight, and get a decent night’s sleep beforehand (it’s the final exam of a four year degree and quite stressful/ intense), but I feel absolutely terrible leaving DS2 for two nights like this. I feel like I’m letting him down when he really needs me. WWYD?

OP posts:
JaffaBiscuitNotCake · 14/01/2019 07:35

I'd feel bad but I'd go. Realistically you have to have a decent sleep to give you the best chance in the exam. Sounds like your dh is supportive and I'm sure DC will be fine

Bettyspants · 14/01/2019 07:39

Normally I'd say stay but under these circumstances your DH is absolutely right! I'm doing a PhD at the minute and know how stressful and important these exams are. Yes you will feel bad but I bet you'll find your little one is absolutely fine with DH! Good luck!

PatchworkElmer · 14/01/2019 07:42

I thought you were going to say you were going on a jolly! Of course, go up and get a good sleep before your exam. It’s in the baby’s interest that you pass.

EnglishRose13 · 14/01/2019 07:43

Do it.

I'm studying with a toddler and it's bloody hard work! You need to sleep. It's two nights. Your child will be fine.

hidinginthenightgarden · 14/01/2019 07:47

Definitley go. You cannot sit an exam if you are not 100% well and rested.

Neverunderfed · 14/01/2019 07:53

I agree with your dh. I was all ready to say I would stay but given how hard you have worked so far you need to see it through.

Windgate · 14/01/2019 08:16

Your DH is being very practical and sensible. DS will settle for his DF. Go get a good sleep and be ready for your exams. Good luck 💐

Original poster
AveAtqueVale · 14/01/2019 08:22

I think you and DH are all right. I’ve booked a room that I can cancel again until 1pm today so I’ll see how I feel. Can always cancel it if I change my mind in the next few hours. DH has just taken them both off to drop DS1 at school so I’m going to go back to bed for an hour and hope I’m capable of making a firm decision once I wake up. In fairness the fact I can’t decide about this is probably a good indicator in itself that I need more sleep before attempting the exam...

OP posts:
Knitwit101 · 14/01/2019 08:25

It's 2 nights after 4 years of studying. Stay for 2 nights. You have to give yourself the best possible chance after all that work.

Good luck with your exam

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 14/01/2019 08:26

I agree with PP, I was ready to say absolutely not, but in the circumstances you’ve said I think your DH is exactly right. Your DS will be fine and won’t remember this but will reap the benefits of your hard work in your exams long term. Good luck, I hope the exam goes well.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 14/01/2019 08:31

Definitely go! You'll feel SO much more human after a night's sleep. DS has two parents, it doesn't always have to be you.

Readytogogogo · 14/01/2019 08:42

You should go so that you are fully rested for the exam. Good luck!

Pinkblanket · 14/01/2019 08:44

Go. Your DH is just as much a parent as you. I've always found when I've left my children in similar circumstances they're as good as gold!

Lindtnotlint · 14/01/2019 08:46

Go! It would be madness (and much more damaging to your baby in the long term) to throw away all that hard work. Good luck!

Original poster
AveAtqueVale · 14/01/2019 14:03

I’ve gone. On the train now. Feeling very guilty but I know it’s for the best. Left early as we thought it would be better to go now while DS is happy(ish) than later when he’s tired and cranky near bedtime.

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 14/01/2019 15:13

Good luck in your exam, you have done the right thing. I left an ebf 5 month old overnight to sleep at my parents and get some sleep before an exam 13 years ago, I passed and she has no memory of the lovely night she spent on daddy's knee

Lindtnotlint · 14/01/2019 19:49

Good luck! Enjoy the sleep. DH has got this.

MargotsFlounceyBlouse · 14/01/2019 19:57

Not remotely unreasonable! He's not a teeny newborn, even if he was time with his daddy in charge is great and really valuable. Make sure you luxuriate in the solitude and recharge your batteries, as much as you can with an exam. Wishing you the best of luck xxx

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