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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Leaving ds in car...

14 replies

AlsoBling2 · 13/01/2019 22:00

Am totally prepared to be to told I'm aibu as dh thinks I am. We are not arguing about it as neither of us is sure if the other one is being too paranoid/too relaxed.

Ds and I stopped at a local Sainsbury's this morning. There's a very small parking area for just 4 cars, covered, with the entrance right next to the entrance for Sainsbury's. But you can't see the car park from Sainsbury's as basically the car park is adjacent to the building. To walk from car to sainsburys enttance takes about 20 seconds As the car park entranc3 could just be an entrance to a next door shop. There are no roads etc to cross obviously either.

Ds , nearly 8, asked if he could stay in car. I said yes as felt it was good he felt confident enough as generally he's not very independent. I was in store long enough to pick up croissants and milk. No queue as it was early. Maybe 5 minutes or less.

Dh feels I shouldn't have left him. I feel independence should be encouraged but I do see his point that I couldn't see him or hear him, even if he could run to me super quickly.

What do you all think? Was iabu?

OP posts:
HeyDuggeesCakeBadge · 13/01/2019 22:01

YANBU - I thought you were going to say he was a baby. At 8 I was definitely waiting in the car for my mum for a short shop.

icouldbewrongicouldberight · 13/01/2019 22:02

Of course it is ok. I have left my son in the car for short periods a lot younger than that. He is 8 now and will happily sit in the car and wait.

TulipsInbloom1 · 13/01/2019 22:03

Totally fine at that age imo.

booellesmum · 13/01/2019 22:04

I would say 8 is fine as long as he can be trusted not to mess with the hand brake etc.

KatharinaRosalie · 13/01/2019 22:06

8 years, not months. Of course it's fine.

IAmALionessHearMeRoar · 13/01/2019 22:06

I was going shopping by myself to the next town on the bus at that age, with younger sibling in tow.

UrsulaPandress · 13/01/2019 22:07

Really? What does your DH think might happen?

AllMYSmellySocks · 13/01/2019 22:08

YANBU! I also thought you were going to be talking about a sleeping baby. AT 8 surely he's fine to be left in a car for a few minutes. As long as he's sensible enough not to take the handbrake off or something it sounds fine.

Echobelly · 13/01/2019 22:12

Yeah, I think it's fine. We'll leave DS (7) in car for a few minutes if he doesn't want to go into the shop.

MrsTommyBanks · 13/01/2019 22:13

Absolutely fine at that age.

ElvisParsley · 13/01/2019 22:14

My 8 year old walks down the road to the library on his own. Tell your DH to stop treating your DS like a baby.

loubluee · 13/01/2019 22:14

Fine at 8 as long as he knows not to touch anything!

Trillis · 13/01/2019 22:17

Mine were left in the car for quick shops from about the time they started school. If they wanted to come into the shop, fine, if not, they stayed in the car and listened to their choice of CD. Whatever they were happiest with.

8 (nearly 9) was the age my daughter went to our local shop on her own for the first time. It took her about 15 minutes to walk there, buy what she wanted and walk home again.

Fucket · 13/01/2019 22:22

If you don’t teach children to spend short amounts of time away from parents how are they going to start managing life as a teenager/young person never having to rely on their own instincts/initiatives.

As long as you explain what to do if they need help, get out of the car and go in the shop. Or keep doors locked and be prepared to use the horn if someone tries to get in the car.

I’m sure some kids are walking to school alone at 8.

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