Am I being selfish to think about #2?

[erja]

I posted briefly about my circumstances on a separate thread this morning but thought I'd go for it and ask bluntly on here. I'm fairly prepared to be flamed but looking for any opinions.

I've been going back and forth on wanting baby #2 for 6 months. The timing isn't right on paper. My heart is so ready for another, but there's no denying it may be a bit of a struggle.

Main problems:

1. We currently privately rent a flat. I love our little home, but it's top floor (which would be a nightmare with a toddler and a newborn) and it's not very spacious.
2. I recently started a new job which I want to stay in as it's perfect for our circumstances, has good career progression routes and I enjoy. I don't want them to be able to dismiss me/make things difficult as I haven't been there 'long enough' (it'd be about a year by the time I'd go on ML).
3. Our financial situation is a bit tight. We manage money fine (on a strict budget), but I'd have to manage childcare for 2 children then as I wouldn't want to lose this job opportunity. It'd be doable but it'd mean money is really tight.

Am I being selfish to even consider it right now? I am prepared to be told I am and I'm just letting broodiness get the better of me, but it has been a long 6 months of wanting to expand our little family

Is moving an option? I get that you live where you are, but if it’s only rented and it’s a factor preventing you from having another baby, maybe it’s not the right place for you anymore.

*Love where you are, not live.

@CoughLaughFart our budget for rent is low and although there is other places that come up, they're sporadic and we'd most likely need a bit more savings for deposit and furniture etc (our current place is part-furnished).
There is an option to ask to be transferred to a ground floor flat in the same complex, but that would depend what our landlord had free or if she'd even be happy to do it!

Do you think you could afford childcare for 2 kids?

How old is the child you already have?
You surely don't have to try for another baby right now, the new job is enough of an exciting challenge and you say it fits in well with your circumstances.

In a couple of years you'll have saved up some money towards a new place.

Good luck.

@Drogosnextwife I'm going to sit down tomorrow and try and figure out if it's doable but probably, it'd just be a very, very tight budget with no other luxuries- and it'd be a year until my DS would be in school.

@jessstan2 he's very almost 2. Yes, I completely understand what you're saying! I'm just letting my broodiness suck me in! There's nothing I've loved more than being a mum (most days) and I'm just crazy over the idea of having another!

How your your DP/DH feel about having another one?

@takeittothebridge incredibly up for it - he's so calm-headed and positive all the time though so he instinctively believes that it'd all work out either way, but I am thinking ahead about how difficult it could potentially be if things don't 'just work out' with our circumstances! Maybe I'm a bit of a worrier.

I feel you OP. My little girl is 19 months and I'd love another but I'm having to put my head over my heart as we'd really struggle money wise. Before having out little girl we had to get a loan to buy a bigger car so we've agreed once loan is paid off then we can try for another so another 3 years to go which will kill me but I know it'll be better for everyone.
Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

@WinterWife it's so hard, isn't it? Thank you, good luck to you too!

if you waited a bit so mat leave started after ds was 3 you'd get the funded hours which would help.

we have a 3.5 year gap not through choice and it's fine. especially now dd2 is 18mo they play more together despite the age difference.

I get you op... I’m in a similar situation. My baby is 6 months and I’m dying to just get on with having a second. It is stupid on paper. Our flat is too small. We can barely afford one child plus I’m not even back at work yet. But I’m in my mid 30s and really don’t want to leave it too late. I’d sY just go for it. You’ll find a way round the other stuff. As for the job.. tough I say. Legally you are entitled to rights. People have kids. Employers need to get over it and deal with it.

@laurG thank you!

I don't think you're selfish. But I do think you're not being very sensible and you might well regret it. If you're on a very tight budget you can't save. As your kids get older you will desperately want to be able to get out of private renting and ideally to buy a house. Small children are cheaper than big children. It will be really hard living without luxuries or stable housing with two kids and that will put strain on your relationship.
I would wait.