to ask about your experience of stroke?

[BlotiCarloti]

My grandma (81, fit, walked her dogs 3 miles every day, still driving etc) had a stroke last night. Feeling very, very sad as she's gone from being completely independent and social to confused and not herself. She can't talk very well, we aren't too sure what she does and doesn't understand, and my mum is obviously not in the best of places.

She seems to have made a tiny bit of improvement, but not much.

Is this her now? Or can stroke survivors make better recoveries? I know she will never be the same and will always have some loss of cognitive function, however I have never known someone who's had a stroke before.

Really worried...

Hi.

My very active, healthy eating fit Mum had a stroke two years ago, in her mid 70s. When it happened she couldn't speak, didn't know where she was and wasn't with it at all. This went on for a few days and we really thought this might be the new normal.

However as the weeks passed she improved bit by bit and by about 3 months later she was back to normal. Now she will just stumble over the odd word.

My dad had a stroke at about 70 and was very much how you describe for weeks. The doctors warned us that he might not improve much at all, but he did. He very much returned, but he didn’t regain everything. His speech came back though he did struggle for the odd word. The most notable thing was that he struggled with technology- we had to leave him notes as to how to turn on the TV. His confidence took a big knock though. I think that was actually the way it most affected him. It’s very early days for you, but I absolutely wouldn’t despair.

Hi

Sorry to see this, OP. DM (then late seventies)had a stroke four plus years ago. She got to hospital within the 'golden time' for clot busters then she was in an acute ward for a couple of weeks then transferred to a rehab ward where she stayed for about six weeks.

Towards the end of that time there were home assessments and required equipment made available. This gradually disappeared as she recovered further over the next six to twelve months. She can make herself understood, has weakness in one hand but can now write again and drive and she's walked without a stick for a while.

It's early days yet but improvements can start to happen quite quickly. Hope you find this is the case for your DGM.

Thanks all. We all have our fingers crossed. It's so hard as I don't know what she understands.

I’m currently in hospital and am in a ward with a woman who had a potentially catastrophic brain bleed just before Xmas. I’ve been in for a week now, and I can see an improvement in her every day. She isn’t yet able to speak, or move/toilet independently.

She is managing to mouth some words, move her hands, and swallow more every day. Her daughter said they were told it would be slow, but they’re hopeful that it will improve. She is better every day, and I can see an improvement.

I can only hope that your grandma 👵🏻 improves too - and that you are able to spend some quality time with her.

My DF (79) had a stroke over the summer. He was very confused initially and couldn't speak. The clot busting drug he was given gave him a brain bleed on top of the initial damage

As his speech started to return he had a pronounced aphasia.

Push for the rehab - by the time he saw the speech therapist he no longer really needed it as we'd done a lot of the work with him already.

Other than you can occasionally see him searching mentally for an elusive word he is now almost 100% recovered.

She probably understands far more of what you say than she can communicate so be very careful what you say around her.

FiL had a stroke in October. Has lost all use of his left side, so cannot walk or use his left arm. Is incontinent and catheterised and basically doesn't know what day it is; often sees stuff that is not there. He can talk though and has relearned to swallow. Cannot tolerate his false teeth so eats a mashed diet.

I dunno, it's pretty miserable for him.

My dad had a major stroke in his sleep. Unfortunately because it happened in the night there was no way of knowing when it first occurred so he couldn’t have any treatment. He is 58.

I won’t lie when we first saw him, he looked very disabled. Couldn’t communicate, couldn’t move. It’s like he was in a vegetative state.

FF to now, a year and a half later he’s still disabled but can take a few steps, can go to the toilet, has a good long term memory. He still struggles to communicate but we as a family are finding it easier to get what he means.

It’s an extremely long exhausting process. With recovery never being guaranteed.

They have to re learn everything which takes time and patience. Don’t be surprised if your Nan is constantly tired. I find this with my dad.

He also has a bad short term memory and gets confused with conversations and recent events.

Wishing your Nan well.

There is usually a significant amount of brain swelling immediately around the 'stroke' area (whether it is caused by clot or by bleed). This swelling ALSO causes a debilitation, but this part of it is usually temporary.

Until this swelling goes down, around two weeks after the stroke, you don't know what the impact of the actual stroke is.

There will likely be some, but you won't know what it is until then.

When my DF had his stroke we were told that after two weeks he would like have back around 80% of what he was ever going to get back. But that through therapy he could relearn some of what he has lost, and he has.

His language skills have never completely recovered, but are far better than they were. His short term memory was poor, but has recovered. He still has a very slight numbness down his right side, so makes sure to check water temperature etc with his left arm.

His stroke was 'moderate' - 'severe' is a size that would usually cause death.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. Have you been able to talk to her doctors about the prognosis? It is very early days though and they may not be able to tell yet how far she will recover.

Both my father and my FIL have had strokes. My dad who is now 88 had a major stroke about 6 years ago. In his case it mainly impacted the parts of the brain involved in language functions: it affected his speech, and left him unable to read and write or to use numbers. His balance and coordinatioon were also badly affected and he was unable to walk for a while. He regained his mobility and some speech quite quickly, although for a long time his speech was slow and quite laborious and he couldn't always find the words he wanted. His ability to read also came back gradually, although he still struggles to write or calculate. He walks with a stick but he is otherwise mobile. For someone who had a major stroke he has had a very good outcome.

My FIL has had two more minor strokes, one last weekend. His speech was severely affected for a short period and also his balance and spatial awareness. But he has recovered quite fast and might even be able to drive again in a month all being well.

I hope that your grandma also makes a good recovery. The fact that she is a "young" 81 will probably help. My dad was mentally and physically active at the time of his stroke (he was still doing consultancy work in his 80s!) and I am sure that has been a factor in his recovery.

A 44 yo I know cannot use his right arm, did learn to walk again but with much reduced mobility. He can only say a handful of words with a huge effort and this will never improve. He went from a decent job where he travelled to living on benefits. His life has changed beyond recognition. No amount of positive attitude will bring him quality of life back.

I had a TIA three years ago. I'm am 36. I have recovered well and the only lasting damage is a fuzziness in my head when trying to say certain words - I know what I want to say but cannot remember the words. I just stand there blank and sometimes stutter.
It was bad at the time, completely paralysed on my left side, slurred speech, panic attack.
I've been lucky. It took a few weeks to get back to normal, I initially had a limp, and feared going to sleep in case I had another.
I hope your Grandma recovers OK.

DF had a massive stroke in October
He is still paralysed down one side, doubly incontinent, and has severe aphasia
Just starting to build up swallowing reflux and getting odd words
I do believe he has some understanding and recognises us
I cried when he first relearnt how to kiss
He smiles with his eyes - I visit most days and sometimes go home and break my heart

It really depends on the person. My grandmother had a stroke a number of years ago. She was not a candidate for clot busters due to poor kidney function. She regained about 99% of what she lost - the right side of her body was affected, but she regained all of her mobility and eventually was able to write legibly again. The only permanent effect was to her speech. She could speak but slurred a bit, worse when she got tired.

Definitely push for early rehab. If possible, your grandmother should be receiving care in a dedicated stroke unit.

My grandad had a stroke a year or so before he passed away. I will never forget going to see him at the hospital, he was a shell of the man he was. Everyone was prepared for the worst, even the doctors thought he wouldn't make it.

He did and within a month or so, was back to almost his usual self, though a tad more emotional after such a trauma.

My GM had a stroke before I was born so I didn't see how bad she was but she re-learned to walk but had profound right side weakness. She used a stick and was a BB holder. She could walk round the house unaided but outside liked having the stick. She never regained use of her right arm so had to learn to do everything with her left but managed very well. Her memory wasn't as good as it could have been but she was pretty independent and could do most things for herself. She would mix up our dog witg dogs she'd had when younger that's sort of thing. She died about 20 years after her stroke from long term complications but as I say that was 20 years later. I wish your GM the best.

My dad had a severe stroke in June aged 63. He was in hospital for 4 months. A great hospital that has a specific strike rehab ward. However there was very little they could do as it happened in his sleep. He's now in a nursing care home, completely paralysed down one side. He can move from lying in bed to sitting to standing and rotate to sit in his wheelchair but can't walk or self propel in his chair or take himself to the toilet. He can communicate ok but gets extremely tired. He also can only see one side of the world. If you sit on the wrong side of him he can't find you, and on his dinner plate he'll only eat one side of what's there. It's amazing how far he's come, from being tube fed and unable to speak. But it's devastating how little progress over all he's made. He had been working full time with a very active social life.

Everyone's different. I'd suggest gave a look on Different Strokes charity pages. They're amazing.

Every stroke journey is individual. Some people can make a good recovery - see Andrew Marr.

When my GM had a stroke I remember being told that the outcomes can be split into 3. One third of stroke patients die, one third survive and recover fully and one third will survive but live with the effects of the stroke. I’m not sure if those stats still stand.
My GM was in the last band. She could only move one finger of her whole body. Mentally she deteriorated over the years and just stared. They didn’t think she’d live long but she lived about 7 years in this state. It was horrible. The law says we must keep someone in this state alive. But any animal in this state would have been allowed to die. But that’s for another thread.
I also have a friend who has had 2 strokes. She has been affected in one side and things take longer but she can still be quite independent and was out at a restaurant within weeks. She might improve further, she might not. It’s wait and see.
Hope your grandma improves.

Sorry to hear this OP

My mum had one at 68 and lost all movement on one side and was in hospital for over a month.

Now, 2 years on she still suffers with mobility problems but her speech is back and she can live independently with some help from family popping in to help with cleaning and taking her out etc.

The improvement happened slowly, I would suggest taking all help that is offered whether that's physio or charities coming to see if her home can be adapted.