Pick Up time

[Bumble1830]

So, My EXP, DS10 dad, sees his son relatively regularly, sometimes every other weekend, sometimes it will after about 5 weeks, Anyway, he has changed jobs which means he cant pick DS up till 8pm, he lives just over an hour away, so wouldnt be getting home till around 9.15pm depending on traffic..think M6! Ive said no for overnight this week, but to collect this morning at 10am, which EXP did, after a lot of ranting and moaning. AIBU to suggest this? Is 9.15pm too late to be getting home, then having to settle etc before bed?

So I guess I ABU. I shall bear everything in mind when he asks to see DS again. Thanks everyone.

I'm sorry but you are being ridiculous. Your child is 10 ffs. Let him see his father for the weekend!!

yabu!

My Guide group finishes at 9pm on a weeknight. 9pm really isn’t too late for a 10 year old especially on a Friday night. I would give it a try. If your DS complains it’s too late or he’s too tired then reconsider

My 8 year old goes to bed after 9.15pm on a Friday night. During the week he's supposed to be in bed by 8.30pm then 5 minutes reading if he wants to, but he doesn't need to be up until 8am for school (half hour getting dressed and fed then leave). So he does get up later than some and doesn't need a huge amount of sleep too, but gets up earlier on weekends!

If your ds goes to bed at e.g. 8pm usually and gets up at 6am then I could understand you being concerned going to bed after 9.30pm, but if he goes to bed later than 8pm normally then he should be ok for the later Fridays.

But be aware that even if your ds was at his dad's straight after school on a Friday it doesn't mean he would be in bed at the usual time anyway, ex might let him stay up later whatever time he got there.

It might be worthwhile getting something put in place officially/legally for when he goes to his dads, (every other weekend?) then you, your ds and your ex all know where your ds is supposed to be every weekend. This can be used as a starting point and you/your ex can swap weekends as and when is mutually convenient. Then your ex knows when he is supposed to have ds well in advance and can plan accordingly. If swaps didn't work you'd have a legal framework to fall back onto.