I have been with dh for 12 years. We have dc, one disabled. He works full time, i work part time and study full time- graduate this year. Our lives are very hectic, between after school clubs, swimming and dancing lessons, helping family and me being at uni in the day time and then work in the evening there isn't much time left for each other. Dh is a very helpful, very hands on dad, as a parent I really cannot fault him.
However, the last year i have noticed a change in his behaviour towards me. He has never been violent towards me, he can say horrible things in an argument (the same as me) but we argue very rarely. Last year, he had been drinking at a family occasion (i hadn't, i had been looking after the Dc as could steadily see him getting more drunk, i didn't mind, he very rarely drinks) and when we got in the taxi home, he was rude to the taxi driver so i apologised to him, saying he was drunk and i just wanted to get home.
Anyway, when we got home, an argument started, over literally nothing. He screamed in my face, pushed me to the floor, pushed me into a heavy piece of furniture and was very aggressive. He wanted his car key, which obviously i was never going to get him. He started ransacking the house looking for it. I asked him to go but he wouldnt leave until he got it. He pinned me to the wall, (not by my throat) and eventually i managed to get him out (after maybe 90 minutes of this). I wouldn't let him back in the house but he had no where to go, so i unlocked the car from inside the house so he could go and sleep in there (without being able to drive it). Anyway, the next day he was full of apologies, i said to him i didnt know if i could be with him anymore. He said he didnt know why he got on like it, couldn't explain it, and I didnt know what to do. He has never been violent before (or since) and I stayed with him. However, things haven't been the same since, I dont feel the same. I have noticed he has also become more selfish recently. We had some spare cash after christmas and he knew i wanted to get something with some of it, however he took it all and spent it on something for himself. Iv noticed he is very rarely "affectionate" any more, but rather his way of getting close is sex and nothing else. If i go to give him a cuddle, he thinks its an invitation for sex, rather than just getting close. I am exhausted, I am completely burnt out with life. My kids are my world, they have a lovely home life, he is a wonderful dad, i am able to complete my degree as he is supportive of that but I just feel so fed up. I dont want to keep going on about the incident last year (and i dont) but i feel like it is this that was the start of these problems, and since then things are just going gradually downhill. I dont know what to do anymore.