Falling out with friends

[Lola86]

The tittle of this post will probably sound quite petulant but I'd be interested to hear people's opinions.
I'm 36 and it's just dawned on me...I seem to fall out with everyone I get close to. Things start off fine and then after some time I feel like they've let me down in some way and I feel the need to distance myself. I genuinely believe that no-one wants to be friends with me because if so, they wouldn't treat me the way they do. People tend to annoy me after a while and I see their bad points. I hate hate hate being like this. I find myself getting very jealous of other people's friendships and wish I could just be normal and have what they have. I feel like I'm not good enough to have that.
When DD was born a year ago I made friends with a girl at a baby group and we met another girl who we befriended. The first friend started to distance herself from me out of the blue. A few weeks ago I noticed a post on Facebook and the two of them had gone out for a playdate. I know I am 37 years old but I felt quite hurt I hadn't been invited. I've honestly never felt this insecure about my relationships. It seems to be since my DD was born. I have just started a pregnancy fitness class but my attitude about talking to the other expectant mum's and possibly making friends is, well what's the point because IL probably fall out with you too?
Maybe I need counselling?

Yes it does sound like counselling would help. We can get stuck in unhelpful patterns of behaviour and the right counsellor will help you with that. You might find as well that you are expecting too much from people.

Thank you. Just typing out my of original message made me realise, this really isn't right!

I don't know if it helps, but to retain friendships you need to learn to not be judgemental and to sometimes let things that annoy you slide. This isn't the same as let people walk all over you, but it is about understanding when something isn't important, that your opinion isn't wanted or needed and could hurt, and that being annoyed about something minor that you will soon forget about isn't relevant.

You need to learn to judge your reactions, control them, and to treat others as you would wish to be treated, and if it's counselling that enables you to learn that, then so be it,but until you fix this then yes you will lose friends, Because no one wants to spend time with someone who negatively judges them and who is annoyed by them.

If you suddenly start to notice peoples flaws, does that mean you go through a honeymoon phase where you only see their good side?
Google 'black and white thinking patterns' and see if it fits.

psychcentral.com/blog/cognitive-distortion-how-does-black-and-white-thinking-hurt-us/

I find that in life nobody is perfect. I would have no friends or family if I didn't allow people to make mistakes. Your friends should be allowed to go out without you as well, it doesn't mean anything bad not including you. It can sting a bit at times not being included but over the years I've learnt to recognise it's not because they dislike me and even if someone dislikes me that's there business. I basically don't care tbh. It does take time to retrain healthier thinking but it can be done