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AIBU?

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Original poster

Family not doing small favours

63 replies

dietcoke2020 · 12/01/2019 21:34

I honestly don't know if I am being unreasonable or not! We are going on holiday for a week in the summer and have asked our neighbour if they would feed our cat and change the litter tray which I know isn't a very nice job. To take the pressure off we have asked a family member who lives around the cornee to also do a couple of days but they have refused as they "can't deal with the shit!" I think this is very mean spirited and it would really help us and our neighbour out. What do you think?

OP posts:
Norma27 · 12/01/2019 22:02

If you are doing the same for them then I think yanbu. Tell them that deal is over.

Youmadorwhat · 12/01/2019 22:05

Yeah YABU if it was me being asked to do pet shit I would also say no...however I would water plants and check on house and feed cat but no I don’t “do cat shit” 🤮either if I did I would have a cat 🤷‍♀️ So they are not being U they are being honest.

Petalflowers · 12/01/2019 22:06

If you look after their cat, then it’s not unreasonable for them to look after your cat.

Maybe thefamily member took offence at being dictated when they would do the cat duty and sometimes it’s easier to do the whole week then odd days (due to organising keys etc).

CottonTailRabbit · 12/01/2019 22:06

If the neighbour doesn't have a litter tray that means they trained the cat to go outside which tells you they don't like dealing with litter trays.

There's a huge difference between popping round to put out some cat food and having to clean out a litter tray.

CottonTailRabbit · 12/01/2019 22:08

Can a litter tray last a week without being changed without stinking out the whole house?

AllMYSmellySocks · 12/01/2019 22:09

Unless they have an especially large aversion/phobia to cat shit it is a bit rubbish. Obviously it's not their responsibility but if you can't spend 10 minutes helping family out (even if it isn't the most pleasant job in the world) it's a bit depressing.

RomanyRoots · 12/01/2019 22:10

Have you offered to return the favour of moving their shit?
I'd have said no, I don't have pets and think you'd got an entitled nerve to ask me.
Pay somebody who likes doing the job.

huuskymam · 12/01/2019 22:10

I get why you're annoyed, I've 4 pets and going away twice this year but my sister (who absolutely hates cats and is terrified of the lizard) will be dropping in every day to feed and clean up after them. She'll be dragging her boyfriend up to sort the lizard. It's what family do. I wouldnt be taking theirs again.

Ilovelblue · 12/01/2019 22:11

I have a reciprocal arrangement with my friend/neighbour and we each have two cats so will feed them etc if either of us are away. Once or twice a year, we have a weekend away together and then employ a lovely lady who comes in twice a day to feed and whatever else is required. She comes to our houses twice a day and charges £7 per visit. This is regardless of the number of pets in the house and will also remove post and even water plants if need be. The cats are happy as they are not uprooted and can come and go as they usually do.

jessstan2 · 12/01/2019 22:19

As others have said, better to hire someone to come in to feed and change litter twice a day. Be independent.

I'd be more than happy to do it for you if you were my neighbour. Have cats myself but they go outside to wee unless they are ill. I'm not squeamish about poo (do it myself sometimes :-) ), and have changed enough nappies.

Weathermonger · 12/01/2019 22:21

For some time we had 4 cats and 2 dogs, we missed out on several holidays because paying someone to look after the animals was too expensive on top of the holiday itself, and we wouldn't dream of asking someone to look after our animal(s) as "a favour".

Rudgie47 · 12/01/2019 22:23

A litter tray either needs scooping or changing everyday. It cant last a week it would stink.
Also cats are not grim, they are kindhearted and loving pets.

MaggieFS · 12/01/2019 22:25

I would water plants, pick up post, check everything is ok and get some fresh milk and bread in for your return without thinking twice. There is absolutely no way I would deal with a cat's litter tray.

CloserIAm2Fine · 12/01/2019 22:39

YABU

Your pet, your holiday, your responsibility to sort it out, your responsibility to pay for it.

You’re acting very entitled

WofflingOn · 12/01/2019 22:53

My children used to treat pet and house-sitting for friends as a useful little earner when they were teenagers. Litter trays and watering plants included. Do you know any useful teenagers?

Butteredghost · 12/01/2019 22:57

I would happily do this for family but yes, I think it's to much to ask. I don't even ask my husband to look after my cats. If I go away and he stays home, I have the cats boarded.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 12/01/2019 23:00

You asked - which is fair enough and they said no, which is also fair enough. Cat poo is really bad and if you're not a cat lover I understand why someone wouldn't want to change the littler tray tbh.

Bumblebee39 · 12/01/2019 23:04

I would help my family out usually

But I would not touch cat poo so I'm conflicted on this one

I am a pregnant though

Gottalovesummer · 12/01/2019 23:10

I have done this for neighbours many times. I've looked after cats, rabbits, gerbils, and a snake.

It's not that big a deal , feed them, scoop out the litter (smells less bad than most nappies) and some fuss/play time. Job done!

Butterflycookie · 12/01/2019 23:15

Once a long time ago, my neighbour was going away for a few days and asked us to feed his dog. We happily did. So it does seem a bit mean a family member won’t help.

rookiemere · 12/01/2019 23:32

I've changed my neighbours cats litter when they've been on holiday in the past. Took 5 minutes to clean it out and refill their food bowl. Definitely not a big ask in my opinion.

BackforGood · 12/01/2019 23:32

It's not a 'small favour' though if you don't enjoy cleaning out cat litter. I don't have pets because I don't want to do this kind of thing - why would I want to do it for someone else ? Confused

However

My children used to treat pet and house-sitting for friends as a useful little earner when they were teenagers. Litter trays and watering plants included. Do you know any useful teenagers?

My teens have earned money this way - cleaning out chickens, rabbits, guinea pigs as well as feeding various animals, watering gardens etc.

This would seem the sensible solution.

sirmione16 · 12/01/2019 23:40

I'm seriously shocked at the replies on this thread, very harsh. I would not mind being asked to help out a couple days for a family members pet, equally I've a few people in my family who actually OFFER to come and feed/look after/clean up after the cat when we go away. In my opinion and in my family it's just curtesy..... so..... imo YANBU.

goldengummybear · 12/01/2019 23:45

Don't look after their cat in future.

Pay someone to deal with it. My teens are asked by some of our neighbours to do stuff like that for cash. They love the chance to make easy money.

icecreammonday · 12/01/2019 23:51

Just get more litter trays to leave out

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