To be a bit hurt

[heyhosilveraway]

Just saw on Facebook my dsis and db are at our extended family's house a fair distance away to celebrate milestone birthdays (of extended family).

For a bit of background and so not to dripfeed, there's a big age gap between my siblings and I, and this extended family pretty much grew up with them (Forces brats, stationed together, our parents were best friends).

I didn't know there was a family gathering going on and tbh I'm ok I wasn't invited. I've got very small kids, dh has a horrendous work schedule.

However, I've got a bit irked that my "d"sis has tagged a photo of her and their eldest daughter saying "my best friend and best sister". I've got a good, if siblingish, relationship with my sister. She has a form of doing things like this but AIBU to be a bit pissed off?

I won't cause a stink or even say anything but feeling pretty hurt. My db will just say that's her and not to be so sensitive as will my dh. My dsis would tell me I'm being silly. And to be honest feel a bit silly even writing this but she and db has a completely different (much better and stable) upbringing to me. I've had my issues with the differences which I'm mostly ok with now. But little digs like that always remind me that they had this pretty awesome childhood and circle of extended family that I'm on the peripheral from.

Have yourself a lovely family night and post up your own pics op.
Small dc are better to spend time with that far off relatives imo.

I'd be pissed off too.

Your sister wasn't being nice.
She has proven she doesn't consider you her best friend because who does that to their bestie.
Carry on as you were- can choose friends can't choose family.

How big is the age gap? Do you have anything to do with these family members?

People who tag things like 'best friend', 'best friend' are insecure. She's not having that great a time.

Does she generally make you feel like shit? I'd be taking a step back.

And it's rude of the extended family not to invite you. They don't sound too great either.

Unfollow them all on FB.

Have your parents gone?

I'd be pissed off at that too. Its very insensitive of her to post that when her actual sister can see it.
Plus its insensitive to have a family gathering and miss you out.
YANBU to feel hurt at all. Anyone would in that situation.

Good relationship with my siblings. Sister lives in my city, see each other regularly but not in each other's pockets. Brother lives elsewhere and we see him sporadically but that's both of us. Dm is deceased and df is housebound.

There's 17 years between db and me, 18 with me and dsis.

Def not going to let it spoil my evening and we're having a lovely time. I'm honestly not that upset about not being invited because we probably wouldn't have been able to go. I adore my uncle, aunt and their family, but it's a long ol' drive and they know that.

Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a bit silly and insentive.

@Consolidatedyourloins she does a lot. Grandiose promises of help and support that never come through, pooh-poohs any advice and suggestions about things I make and then gets on the defensive when I turn out to be correct. Spoils and smothers her kids to the point that they are almost in their 30s and she gives them lifts and pays their phone bills then constantly tells me that I'm spoilt (for context our mum died when I was 23, my dad then made me intentionally homeless after I moved home to sort myself out financially. The debt was due to overspending on basic needs when our parents sold up and moved abroad while I was at university. Parents provided no financial help with my studies despite pushing me into them and yet earned too much for me to access financing etc).

It's a long long list of fucked up BUT I try and keep civil because of all the people in the family she and my brother are the best I've got. I just wish she'd be a little less self-righteous sometimes! She does love me and I know if I REALLY needed her she would be there and help but she gets caught up in her own drama and despite the fact I'm a grown ass woman with a mortgage, career and kids, it's always a bit like I'm 13 again and she's lecturing me about my life choices.

YANBU it's a pretty insensitive and to be honest quite stupid thing to post on Facebook. Obviously you're better off shrugging your shoulders and not letting it get to you but that's easier said than done.

Don’t read to much into it, no one ever tags a photo “my second best friend and second best sister!” What is said on Facebook is never the whole story.

'Best sister'? She sounds like she's 12. V unkind.