CF or not?

[SydneyFrexkle]

Asked to go on hen weekend in June. All we were told was the potential location and weekend.

I’ve now been told hotel is booked and I need to transfer the money. The price of the hotel wasn’t run by any of us before booking.

Aibu to be annoyed?

So nobody thought to tell her that they could only afford X amount or to do a quick look online for themselves & realise it would be too much?

Idk, seems odd to me that she didn't run it by anyone first, but did she get the impression that more or less any amount would be OK?

I'd expect the organiser to run it past all the attendees first as in found a hotel it works out xx each that ok? But not to just book it!

Did you agree to the date and location and is the hotel a reasonable cost?

Yes, it very much depends on the cost as to whether she is unreasonable or not.

I'd expect to have a discussion about where to stay, budgets etc then agree something based on that discussion. That's so rude!

And remember, you may well be expected to cough up to cover the bride's portion too.

Well I certainly wouldn't like it but... If (as far as the organiser is aware) all the potential attendees are likely to be able to afford the cost of this hotel and had all agreed in principal to the dates etc, maybe s/he wasn't being that unreasonable. If the organiser is well off but should have been aware that at least one attendee is on minimum wage, then that's not so good.

Unfortunately, people who have plenty of money ie could easily afford a weekend away - or a meal out - sometimes simply assume that being unable to afford something is what happens to other people, you know, those smelly povvos a million miles away from their own lives. Do all the hens know each other, or is it one of those situations where you've got a few of the bride's mates she sees a lot of, plus her H2B's cousin that none of you know/her old schoolfriend who married a billionaire, and one of the well-oof ones is doing the organising?

You should have been warned of a potential budgetary before hand. Ie. Organsier isinteding to organise weekend on Friday 13th with the total'cost being approx £100 (plus drinks) for example.

YANBU. The organiser had no authority to spend your money.

Was a specific hotel mentioned in the early stages or was it just a town?
YANBU, surely budget is something that needs to be discussed before bookings take place, especially this time of year!

Is the price roughly what could have been expected for a weekend in that location? (thereby roughly what you thought you were agreeing too)

I would send a message to the organiser along the lines of "I seem to have missed the messages when prices were discussed and I didn't agree to this." - then either say you can't afford it and won't be going, or that you will be sending the payment, but for the future, can she make sure you have confirmed you can afford something before booking it as you don't seem to be getting all the messages.

It doesn't matter how well off the other attendees are, they should be informed of the cost, and when the money is due, before anything is booked.

Maybe they bagged you a bargain!?? Maybe they thought they would save you all the stress?

It really does depend on affordability though I agree.

Yeah, I'd probably be a bit miffed, but if I could afford it, it wouldn't really matter.

How much?! If it's a fab deal then you're BU but if it's expensive then nope they ought to check first

Who has said this?

YANBU, the actual hotel and room rate should have been agreed before anything was booked.

Why do hen dos turn people into entitled and presumptuous idiots? The last one I went on was subject to a very last minute accommodation change - same price, poorer quality and fewer extras. But apparently it freed up our money for some extra treats, like a lolly with my name on it. Ffs,

Message back: I wasn't aware that we'd chosen accommodation and agreed a price. I'll have to get the money to you when I've got it (if you want to go) or sorry, I didn't realise it would be this price so I won't be coming.

Don't give in lightly now; from my experience it's only the start.

Presumably you asked about the cost to begin with? I would never suggest I might go to something without knowing a rough price.

How much is it?

Did you ever say that you would go (when you only knew the date/venue)? By venue, were you told as in a general area eg the Cotswolds, or given a specific hotel (from which they might have expected you to look up the price)?

Did you not ever ask what the price would be? That would be my first question if it hasn't been included in the details given.

'So how much were you expecting?'

OP disappears 🙄

So many questions, but no sign of the OP.

Aprilshower

Even a bargain will be coming in a bad month for many people.

I was pissed off on honeymoon to see that the hen for next June went from "looking at booking late Jan" to "in or out now and I need payment immediately" on Dec 22nd. Followed by "let's book transport together now" for £100, just after NY.

I declined transport - I'm very comfortably off compared to most people, but even I struggled to summon up £150 with zero notice at Christmas with no paydays in between!