Is this unreasonable ...or not?

[DeloresJaneUmbridge]

I will try not to drip feed here.
DS is 16 ...just.

For his birthday just before Xmas we bought him a new Xbox and DH sold his old one on eBay for £80.

Then for Xmas his auntie gave him two cheques...one for his birthday and one for Xmas. In total this is another £50.

So DH paid them into his account .

We are now eight days on and DH doesn’t want to give DS any of the money yet as “we have bills to pay”.

Now I can understand that we have bills, I have a small amount of money going into my account next week (Carers Allowance) but the council tax is due too so most of the CA will go on that. We don’t get any other benefits as DH has money in a savings account so we wouldn’t be entitled to it. Plus it seems a nightmare to claim benefits with self employment as some months he gets more work.

We also just got a huge water bill in ...DS can’t cope with showers (he is autistic) and we do a lot of washing as he can still bed wet .

I just feel a bit guilty about DS wanting his birthday and Xmas money and DH hanging onto it.

Yes we have big bills to pay but he ponces around doing a bit of public performing which while it can be well paid isn’t often enough. He is self employed and gets work bit not enough. At the moment because DS is struggling I can’t work ...I do a little bit of extra care work but can’t do any more as DS doesn’t sleep well and I have regular very disturbed nights. I am also autistic myself so get overwhelmed very easily ...I care for DS and do extra work to the best of my coping skills.

Ironically as I am sat here feeling guilty DH has been working but he has nothing else now for several days.

So is he unreasonable hanging on to all DS’s Xmas and Birthday money? I can’t ask my Mum as she gets irritated by DH so will say he is...even if he isn’t!

Thanks all, DS has his money.

Long chat last night and I insisted on seeing his bank account. He had no problem with this and I could see what was there. Certainly enough for DS to have his money so that was sorted immediately...he’s transferred it to my account and I have added it to DS’s account,

It still leaves enough for us to live and pay bills . He has a cheque to pay in tomorrow and another payment coming in by BACS this week....around £700 but then has no work until next weekend.

I feel one of us has to work full time and if he won’t do it I will. I am more than qualified to do care work and bring in a regular wage . Thing is I want to go back to uni in September to update and return to nursing. I am a fully qualified nurse but have been out of practice for four years so need to update. Unfortunately that will be unpaid so we need to plan for it. It’s only 12 weeks but the job I could do afterwards starts at £28k so my income would go through the roof.

Both my children got a small amount of money at Christmas which I have spent on bills.

However, I will replace it ASAP and even if I don’t, I generally tend to buy them things they want when I’ve got the spare money so it does balance out

Your dh however has his savings he could use