To not throw my daughter a "party" for her 1st birthday

[sophiec123]

To not throw my daughter a "party" for her 1st birthday

We were going to do a buffet at my mums house as our house is too small, but have now decided against it. We just felt that the only people who we have to invite are family that already see her and she won't really understand aswell.

We have now decided to take her out for the day to the aquarium, just daughter, me and partner, and then go out for dinner where everybody can meet us if they wish. I am still going to get a cake, banners and balloons for her to enjoy.

Is this enough? I can't help feeling like a bad mum. If anyone has any other suggestions that will be great! :)

Sounds fine to me. Save the parties for when they're older and know what's going on xx

You would be throwing a party for yourself not a 1 year old who couldn't care less! So if YOU want a party throw one otherwise don't bother!

YANBU. An infant turning 1 will have zero idea what's going on. A 1-year-old's party is never really for them, it's for the parents, and if you don't want one, don't have one.

What AllMYSmellySocks says!

That sounds like a kind of party in itself. your still celebrating her Day by doing something special it's fine it sounds lovely

I love, love, love children's parties and even I didn't do one for the first birthday.

I did go to a few mind and they seemed to fall into two camps - family types tea, or new mum friends/friends with kids and very much consists of 'this time last year ..... and out come the battle stories'

I didn't, we went for lunch with my mum and dad and had cake and celebrated but no party or balloons and stuff. Was a lovely day

My son is turning 1 in a few weeks. He’s the only one of all the babies in our mums group not having a party. I think the day you have planned sounds great, we are thinking something similar. The baby doesn’t care either way and I would just worry about everyone having a good time when all I really want to do is enjoy the day with my baby

Sounds like a lovely plan :)

We had a first birthday for our daughter. We didn’t feel it was necessary or that we thought she would have any idea what’s going on. It was more of a celebration for us surviving our first year of parenthood! She has a summer birthday so it was also an excuse to have a BBQ and have everyone over! what you’re doing is nice!

When my ds turned one I didn't buy any balloons or do anything special apart from make a cake and have presents (which he wasn't even bothered about!). When he was two we went to mil's and had a small gathering with bil, sil and his baby cousin. Again we did presents and cake and he was much more excited and still talks about the cake now. Anything you do at one year is for you more than your dd so just do something simple that's not going to cause you any stress

Your second suggestion is basically what we did for my dc first birthday - day out to a animal park (she was obsessed with animals!), then dinner in a pub, with a few family and friends.

My oldest child didn't like lots of people and fuss. He preferred quiet and calm. He would have hated having a party at that age. My MIL decided this was proof that I was a dreadful mother and trying to exclude her and kicked off like you wouldn't believe. Which just made me glad that we didn't have a party for him.

Stick to your guns, OP. Do what you will all enjoy, and not what you think you ought to do.

I took a picture of DD in her high chair with a birthday cake and some balloons and decorations for her first birthday but other than that she's not having parties til she's at school.

We’re not doing parties until I think DS will have a lovely time, rather than be confused, completely overwrought, and end up hysterical. He’s 2. I think maybe next year of the year after we’ll start with parties.

We do make a fuss on his birthday. This year we had a weekend of treats and had family over for tea and cake on his actual day, he had his favourite sausages and mash for dinner, and went to bed very happy.

His first he had a horrid case of tonsillitis- perked up for that one day before being hospitalised the next. we were lucky to get to do a cake and presents at all.

YANBU she had her whole life ahead that can be filled with parties when she can actually appreciate them

You're doing exactly what you feel is right and your child won't care. Enjoy the day!

Mine is 1 in a few weeks too and pretty much doing exactly the same as you. I did consider a party but would only be family too. Also going to do cake, balloons etc

I never did anything for mine, I found the idea peculiar. They won't miss anything.

Thankyou for all of your replies! Made me feel much better! Definitely going to stick with the aquarium idea :)

We brought dd1 to the zoo and had a cake, that's it. Grandparents dropped in later to give her presents.

YANBU. We didn't have a party.

DS1 we had a get together with my baby group at my place. Usually we met in a park or pub, so it was a nice change.
DS2 we had a party in a park, purely for DS1 who asked if DS2 had been naughty and was that why he wasn’t having a party. We drank champagne and ate cake and it was fun. We actually took them to a farm for his actual birthday.
DD will probably not have anything special either.
When DS2 was nearly 1, one of my friends had a full on party for her 1 year old, complete with 3 tier farmyard cake, personalised drink bottles and farm themed food, and a Kindy Farm. It was totally ridiculous!

The aquarium sounds lovely! I think a party is nice for kids to get together but definitely not necessary. We won't be doing a party for DD's first, may steal the aquarium idea.

My DSis called DNs first birthday party the ‘thank fuck we all survived the first year’ Party…