When does coparenting with an abusive/narcissistic ex gets easier?

[bananapancakes1]

Just that really. I'm at my wits end, everything is a fight. He has this way of sucking me into arguments, then making me look like the bad person and I'm just sat there thinking how did we end up talking about this? It literally goes from 0 to 100 really quick. I've stopped engaging with him, it makes my head spin when I try to talk to him about something. I feel like I'm going crazy when talking to him, I've kept contact to bare minimum. Only talk/text about the kids.

So when does it get easier? When the kids are teenagers? Mine are under 8 now

It doesn't I'm afraid. I looked up the term grey rock recently and it's exactly what I instinctively did with my abusive ex.

Minimal reaction to anything in their presence, regardless of what you are feeling. It would my ex up so badly but it meant I always came out of anything the better person. Basically, act like everything is water off a ducks back, and not in that obvious way of pretending you're not bothered when you blatantly are. I think.some.people find it helps the ex turn down the shitty behaviour a notch.

Thank you. I've just googled grey rock parenting and will read up on that now.