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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm worth more?

33 replies

Gonnagetflamed · 11/01/2019 21:45

I have 5dc aged 4-12. I gave up my education when I, unexpectedly, fell pregnant. My xdh didn't like family life so left me alone with 3 kids under 18 months. Consequently 2 further dcs who's 'father' couldn't deal with older dcs and amicable relationship with xdh.
I'm now in a position where all dc are in full-time education. Oldest 3 have contact with xdh, younger 2 only have my family.
I've signed up to The Open University to complete what I started 18 years ago.
So not to drip feed (or brag), I have 13 GCSEs, 4 A levels and had an offer for the only university that provided my chosen course at the time.
No-one is supporting me. My parents said 'we'll give it a month'
Xdh said 'well I'm not looking after them any more than I do (4 hours a week).
Ive asked no-one for help, my older kids are ecstatic.
I'm sure I'll be flamed but we live on benefits and I want more. For me and my kids. Aibu?

OP posts:
UhUhUhDennis · 11/01/2019 21:47

YANBU
You go girl!

Neapolitanicecream · 11/01/2019 21:51

Well done that’s above average qualifications already. You’ll be an inspiration to your kids they want to see you win this 👍

MamaLovesMango · 11/01/2019 21:52

YANBU

you CAN do this!

mobyduck · 11/01/2019 21:52

Go for it!

PenelopeFlintstone · 11/01/2019 21:54

My parents said 'we'll give it a month' Wtf???
Good luck with it all, OP.

Neverender · 11/01/2019 21:55

This reply has been deleted

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mummyyessy · 11/01/2019 21:56

Good for you. Go for it. You're inspirational.

SylvanianFamiliesNurserySet · 11/01/2019 21:57

Everyone else can fuck right off. Sure, it will be hard work but you can definitely do it.

People get scared by the idea that they have options, it’s so much easier to say,
“But I had no choice!”. They’d prefer you to stay in your box and then they don’t have to question their own lives.

Fuck ‘em.

SylvanianFamiliesNurserySet · 11/01/2019 21:59

Also your xdh is (sorry) a loser. My 6yo has friends I see for more than 4 hours a week round at our house!

Florries · 11/01/2019 22:00

Woohoo ! Good luck, OP!!!

Ellisandra · 11/01/2019 22:00

How lovely that your older kids can be ecstatic for you at just 12! Raised ‘em right 👍🏻

With them all in full time school, you don’t need anyone’s help anyway. But what cocks they all are for not offering it, and cheering you on!

Good luck!

redexpat · 11/01/2019 22:01

My mum started OU when I went to junior school and she had a little bit longer at home during the day. You keep at it Flowers

Mokepon · 11/01/2019 22:02

Your parents are horrible and your exh sounds like a peach. Waiting for you to fail.
Fuck them.
You are worth more.
Do what makes you happy and suits you.
It won't be easy but you know that already. It doesn't mean impossible, do your best and do it for you. Good luck!

lily2403 · 11/01/2019 22:03

You totally got this. Great example for your children. I did this and my two went to uni too.

I’m sorry your parents aren’t supportive

Flowers
PinkPanther38 · 11/01/2019 22:13

Good luck OP! What are you going to do at uni?

ToPlanZ · 11/01/2019 22:15

You'll be brilliant because you know you want to do this. Good luck!

blackteasplease · 11/01/2019 22:24

You can do it OP! Well done for having the courage and determination to do this.

GrandmaJane · 11/01/2019 22:27

I’ll send you some moral support - go for it, and win! Good luck!

I only have one child but I did my degree and pgce as a single parent. You can do it.

StoneofDestiny · 11/01/2019 22:29

and when you succeed, have nothing to do with any of the naysayers.

ASAS · 11/01/2019 22:32

The fact your kids are supportive tells you everything you need yo know about how you've raised them.

Fuck everyone else

Ozziewozzie · 11/01/2019 22:33

If I lived near you, I’d help you (if you needed it)
My parents are pants at believing in me too. I have 5 kids, worked full time etc, did it all myself with not one person to help.

You are an excellent role model for your children. Maybe because you’re going so well it makes them feel weird. Who knows. Flowers

Whatjusthappenedthere · 11/01/2019 22:33

Do it for yourself and your children first. And then do it for the rest of us who can’t ( yet ) but wish you so much luck and good fortune. Flowers

Gettingnowherefast · 11/01/2019 22:34

Go for it!

Cheeringmeup · 11/01/2019 22:37

You are absolutely not going to get flamed!
By going for your degree you are trying to improve your employment opportunities and increase your chances of a career that you love. I love that your kids are behind you (why wouldn’t they be?) there’s really no reason not to do what you’re planning, seems like a win/win.
I completely admire your drive and committment to achieve something better for your family - go for it - it will be hard work, but you can clearly do it! Huge supportive hugs x

Original poster
Gonnagetflamed · 11/01/2019 22:41

I didn't see what @Neverender said but are you my exh?
Thank you all, I start 2nd February and was seriously considering dropping it. I know I could have done it then. I THINK I can do it now. It's gonna be 6 years before I can say I'm qualified but there are multiple opportunities in the meantime x

OP posts: