I went on a date just before christmas with someone i've known for a very long time (acquaintance more than friend). the date itself was fine but there were what i considered "red flags" during the date which put me off slightly.
The red flags included:
- telling me that I had trust issues and that not all men were like my ex (it is well known that my ex was abusive and violent - yet, this man does not know me well enough to make comments on it)
- telling me i needed to trust him as he wasn't my ex
- telling me that he tried to kill himself after his last ex broke up with him (i know this is quite sad but I just didn't understand why he told me so early on)
- that he can't deal with anyone's poor mental health and that's why he left another ex girlfriend
- asking if he could hold my hand like 5 minutes into the date over the table
...and probably the biggest one - and this sounds so mean - I just thought I could do better in terms of attraction and intellectual connection. And to make matters worse HE kept mentioning I was out of his league. We mostly spoke about my ex (who he kept bringing up). He's not very ambitious and is a floater through life which is fine I suppose but I'm in a structured and competitive career which means I travel and work a lot.
Anyway - I decided that I didn't want to see him again so left it at that. I left the conversation to a minimal made an excuse not to go for a second date. Obviously it's not good to ghost someone but I'm pretty useless at dating. He text maybe twice saying he was having a bad time with family and sorry he wasn't getting in touch and sorry for not answering phone (I didn't call him) - even though it was pretty obvious I was ignoring him?!
Anyway - come Christmas eve at about 11pm he texts me saying "why did you stop talking" followed by 5 question marks at random times throughout the night. I replied Boxing Day truthfully saying I should have said but I've had a lot on (true) but I don't think we would be a good match hope you had a lovely christmas.
He didn't text back. So i assumed all was over.
Today I walk into the entrance to my work and he is randomly walking past. He shouts "hey pollypopit!" to me. I had earphones on and to be honest didn't register who it was for a while. I sent him a brief text saying "didn't mean to be rude then didn't see you properly. hope you're well". He then text back saying "well i thought it was because you didn't like me and that makes me sad." I said "we aren't compatible dating but I would never be rude to someone".
To make matters worse he told my best friend (male) that we had been dating, so god knows what he's told other people.
I'm freaked out that he's still wanting reasoning for rejection after ONE date, and that he would be anywhere near my work (I don't work in the same city to where I live).
AIBU to be freaked out or do you think I should have not text back to any of the texts?