Occupation Orders - can anyone help?

[Neverender]

Hello, I'm considering filing for an occupation order in court to have by H removed from our home.

Has anyone here done this? How much did it cost? How did you tell him? I'm seriously mentally exhausted and unsure about this next, very serious, step.

Any help greatly appreciated.

If you don't take steps to have him removed and social services happen to get involved, you'll be seen as a negligent mother for exposing her to his behaviour. Harsh but true.

And he's really nice and kind to her. But not to me. It's heartbreaking.

That's a reality check - thank you.

Think about it this way. Living like this is bad for everyone, including your husband. The kindest thing for him is to be made to leave. It may be the kick he needs to sort himself out and deal with his issues and be a better father to her.

In my case, getting my husband out was the right thing for all of us. Including him

What happened next?

He left within the week and now lives with his family. He sees our dc once a week and we are now quite amicable and polite to each other on the phone when discussing contact. We never see each other face to face as it just feels too awkward. And now we can finally both heal.

I also filed for divorce although that will take ages. At least I don't have to see him every day or live in fear.

Doinggreat: apologies for jumping on your thread, could you please tell how long it took to get the order? Similar situation here, but need him gone yesterday!

@Neverender, what happened? I'm at the same stage but have an IDVA to help. Hope you're ok. What did you decide? x

Well, he assaulted me in the end and the police took his keys at my request. He left on Father's Day. He's now living in a shared house. I'm fine now. He's still lost. My DD is happy and safe now and that's what matters most.

@Neverender at what point do I simply give up?

Now.
This is it. This is the point where you give up.
Right Now.
It will NEVER be any better than it is right this moment.
Even with the prospect of the end of your relationship and losing his home, he cannot muster more than the barest attempt at the pretense of effort to save your marriage.
He does not care enough.
He does not care.
He may or may not be depressed
Not your problem to solve.
If he wanted you to get back with him (and I don't recommend it, frankly) he would be actively sorting his shit.
He's not.
Is he looking for a job?
Is he helping you with the house/children?
Is he addressing his issues with a counsellor?
No. He is lying on the sofa, moping around, feeling sorry for himself, while you tear your hair out wondering whether there is anything that you can salvage from this.
Please believe me when I say, there isn't.
Get your occupation order. Get him out and Get on with your life without him
You will be so much happier.
Good luck

I desperately need my ex to leave my house. Any advice would be appreciated. A history of cohersive abuse and my son now has to stay with his dad. I want my ex out and my son home but just won't go

I'm going to apply for an occupation order on line. Social service will help me and the police have a list of violent and cohersive behaviour. I wonder how long it takes during lock down and how the order is served. Will I be at risk if it come though the post box. Do I warn ex in advance? I spend most nights sleeping on the floor behind my bedroom door to prevent him getting in the bedroom to me. I'm a mess and can't take anymore. Name calling. I'll have to deal with the joint debt I've been stupid enough to take out in my name at a later date. I need him out my house so I can sleep at night

@Mamachez I don’t have and advice but I didn’t want to read and run. I hope this bump helps. So sorry to hear about your situation, I really hope you have your life and house back soon

Thank you for the bump. Its my first time posting and wasn't sure what or how to do x

Are there any women’s charities close to yourself. They can be a big help, and offer advice on relevant legislations and orders that may help.

Yes I have a list to ring tomorrow. My fear is the new lock down and who will be available to help me. I had the police to my work to make a statement on Dec 6 and I haven't heard a single thing since then. I thought they would help me but it doesn't appear so

I rang a solicitor today to ask one simple question.... Does my ex have a right to stay in my house following abuse even though its been his home for 8 years. The solicitor said I had to pay her £179 there and then to answer that question. I was gob smacked!