Should I quit?

[TimeToQuit]

NC here.

Long story short have a job which on paper is fantastic but in practice is making me miserable.

It is a professional job & I am manager of a decent sized great team and we've achieved tons in the last few years (don't want to say what as might be revealing). We have had the best results and improvements across the whole company. But I work ridiculous hrs, and the job regularly ruins holidays and is incredibly stressful. I work most evenings too & my work life balance is non existent. Although I think (modestly) that I have a lot to offer, I do not feel valued in the company. I am on the second highest level leadership team but just found out they're changing the group, forming a new group & I won't be in it. It's a big blow & I am equal parts furious & upset after all of my hard work. In general too the culture has changed at the company & it now feels like not a nice place to work (higher ups don't like being disagreed with, hierarchy being rammed down people's throats etc.)

So, I've been looking around for a while but don't have anything lined up. The golden handcuffs of a decent current salary keep me a bit stuck. I am tempted to just quit. But presume this would mean no right to any sort of unemployment money? Can anyone please advise me here if I would be eligible for anything. Would this depend on DH's salary?

We could probably manage on my DH's salary for a while, but as someone who has always worked and paid my way this feels like a leap and not my ideal (though at some level being a sahm for a short time sounds appealing). Genuinely don't know whether to just quit now & then look for a job or tough it out.

Life feels too short to be in a job that is making me so stressed and miserable. My confidence is being chipped away at & I would like to feel more valued (is this asking too much?) WIBU to just quit???

Help please, I am feeling really miserable and need a plan of how to get myself out of this shitty situation.

@secureCompartment

@RosemarysBabyDress

You fucking moron. The system isn't there to penalise women. The "beautiful system" is there to support those who need it, not lazy bastards who feel like some time off work.

HTH

No one would employ with that potty mouth, @secureCompartment

I doubt you're on your way to Singapore.

if you can afford to rely on one salary while you look then yes, quit. but think it best to put the feelers out see what jobs are about before you do.

who chose to work less and have an easier life get everything

It is my experience that those on lower pay work much harder than those on higher pay think numbers of hours, difficult shifts, difficult working conditions, no sick pay limited holidays, no perks like company cars, work trips.

I say this as a higher taxpayer myself sitting in a nice warm office, good holidays, free counselling, generous sick pay, flexible working. I would get none of this if I were a nurse, factory worker, supermarket worker etc

You can't claim JSA for a while if you voluntarily leave your job.

I think you need to work out the core reason for your unhappiness.

From reading your OP it seems like you are a very driven individual and the bit that has pushed you over the edge is not being part of this new senior management group.

If you gave up your job with nothing to go to, it's entirely possible you'll end up in a lower paid job with less autonomy and less pay.
But if its the hours that are the worst thing , then you might be ok with this trade off.

Also have you ever tried pushing back. Unless you're a heart surgeon, I'm not sure why you'd need to cancel holidays and if I were your DH I'd be rather frustrated and disappointed with that.

Have you talked to your line manager about your disappointment with not being included in the group? That might be a good place to start. I suspect from your comments about culture and hierarchy, you may not be willing to do the necessary adjustments to be part of senior management echelons.

As you appear to be quite senior, can you arrange to speak to headhunter first and see what's out there right now in your field? You could easily find yourself in a new, better role in weeks from now! And better to do your research before jumping ship right before Brexit. Is your field likely to be impacted?

Then I would possibly talk to a career coach in your field about your next steps - have a look on google, LinkedIn. You might be overlooking something about yourself or your needs and a complete career change might help, or you might be able to equip yourself with the tools to avoid this situation arising again.

I would also bring this up with senior management. Why were you passed over for this new team? You're working flat out - so are you being taken for granted or not hitting the top achievements that some of your colleagues are hitting? Are there men in your team who can simply outwork you because they have a SAHW and just don't show up for their families (or don't have a family in the first place)?

Unhelpful snark on AIBU is par for the course. But I would rule out any entitlements. You should have sufficient savings to cover a career change at this point, and if you don't, stick it out for 6 months (while doing your research) to save the buffer you need.

Totally get how you feel. Was there. Ut overworked and undervalued. I didn't quit but went for anotjer job on a whim. It all happened very quickly under 4 days from seeing advert to being offered job. I went for it and regretted it right away. Thankfully managed to turns things around but learned my lesson.

My advice would be not to quick, just stop giving it all. Remain professional and positive.ut stick to your contracted hours and see what happens. Look for something in the meantime but only go for what you really want. You might be surprised that you might get away with working normal hours in terms of respect and find that when you do and you stop being so committed, it's not so bad.

Could you work another few month and put some savings aside to get you by a month or 2 off whilst you search for work and sign up to some agencies?

You can't claim JSA for a while if you voluntarily leave your job.

Do you have a link confirming this?

(You may well be correct, but I just can't find anything official saying this).

You really need to get another job before you leave with this one. If it means a lower salary, go for it provided that you have a reasonable prospect of promotion.

Also start being very firm about keeping to sensible working hours, and consider entering a formal grievance about the reorganisation proposals. if you intend to leave anyway, you have nothing to lose.

Maybe look for something else before you quit.
but yes, in the medium term, you should quit if your job is making you miserable.

You are entitled to job seekers allowance if you resign. As long as your national insurance contributions are up to date you receive it for 6 months.

nakedscientist
to be fair, I don't really see work trip as a perk!
Maybe it's more about what you could call the mental load. It's a myth that most higher paid jobs are 9 to 5 and you switch off when you leave the office. It's - usually- high pressure, longer hours, more responsibilities and so on.

You gave the example of nurses, which is a fair point, but not all "low paid" jobs are medical, and not all nurses have stressful shifts either.

Well I'm guessing I won't be entitled to anything & no I don't want to be paid to do nothing, was just asking a question as a longtime tax payer with children to look after.

Paying tax isnt a savings plan that you can withdraw if you fancy it. Start looking for a new job, but dont expect the already overloaded benefit system to pay because you are throwing your toys out the pram at work because of a reorg.

looks like our international business traveler with a potty mouth was a troll after all
who would have guessed?

If you resign, you will be unable to claim JSA for 3 months, unless you can prove that you had a "good reason" for resigning. The reasons that would be accepted would be:
"•took voluntary redundancy
•weren't getting minimum wage
•didn't feel safe working in the conditions because they didn't meet health and safety standards
•didn't feel safe because you were bullied or harassed
•had a zero-hour contract

You might also be able to challenge the sanction if you left the job during the 'trial period'. This is usually more than 5 weeks - but less than 13 weeks - after starting." (Quote taken from Citizens Advice website.

Doesn't sound like any of these apply to OP, so she would not be entitled to any benefits if she resigns.

Can you imagine the business meeting, Rosemary?

Singaporean: Can you give us a discount of 10%?

IntlTraveller: No, you fucking moron, I'm not giving discounts to lazy bastards looking to save money.

@LadyR77 can you share a link?

JSA is quite complex and depends on circumstances

www.gov.uk/jobseekers-allowance

3 months waif for JSA on quitting -

worksmart.org.uk/work-rights/losing-your-job/leaving-your-job/will-i-lose-out-benefits-if-i-leave-my-job-voluntarily

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/jobseekers-allowance-jsa/before-you-claim-jsa/how-to-claim-jsa/

Talk to CAB. I know that it used to be (20+ years ago) that you had to be unemployed through no fault of your own before you could claim dole - otherwise you did have to wait 6 months - but a lot has changed since then, mostly with a view to paying out less.

Disclaimer first is that I left a job like yours to be a sahm, so my brain doesn't work in the way it used to.

I would take the advice from the pp who said take a couple of days to step outside the situation and relax, so that you are seeing things clearly. As well as thinking about what you want from your next job, I would:

• think about whether you gave too much of yourself to the job and can you re think that if you decide to stay until you get a new job? If that sounds counterintuitive, if you google it you might find interesting info. I initially used to give too much of myself to my job - long hours and being interrupted on holiday etc - but at some point I decided to rethink it all and my salary went up.

• work out why you weren't included in the group - was it politics? Something else?

• try hard not to take it personally and think of a way you can manage upwards - and sorry if that sounds bonkers - it was said to me by a senior partner once and it only really properly sank in when I was more senior and a manager myself

It would probably be better to stay in the job until you get another one, especially if you can re-think the hours you are doing etc and in the knowledge that it is only temporary.

I had a life long job teaching but had hit a ceiling! No chance of promotion, working with vial people in a full time job that was way more hours than full time! I was struggling to juggle single mum and couldn't pay the bills never mind get out of the years of debt i was in. I was miserable!

I quit! Just walked out one day! Took a job £15 grand less in an industry i had not been able to get into because I couldn't find the time to get any experience, with even more vial people!

BUT 6 years on I have been promoted 4 times, am earning three times what I was in teaching! No dept! The vial people were only temporary, I moved on and up and it was the best thing I ever did!

I always dreaded my 30's but they have been the best years of my life since teaching ruined my 20s!

If you don't try you will never know the possibilities! I say quit!