To ask friend about daughters comment

[Mother40]

My 6 year old daughter has 2 best friends at school and luckily I am friendly with both of the mums. We go for a coffee every week and occasional nights out of meet up in holidays although they are.both busy so we don't tend to arrange many play dates. Yesterday my daughter said that one of he friends had told her that she is not allowed to come and play at our house as her mum has told this. It could just be the friend saying something silly, but the mothers husband has not been very friendly and im not sure if this could be what the mother has said. My daughter is well behaved but my son can be silly sometimes, so wondering if the mother could have said it.

I would feel upset if the mother has said this as I thought we were friends. I feel like I need to ask her if she did say this but my husband thinks i should ignore it as it would look like I don't trust her, and it could just be the girl saying something silly.

Should I speak to her about it or ignore?

"can X come to play?"

"no, you've been naughty"

.....

"X, Mummy says you're not allowed to come to play"

Does your son go on the play dates at her friends or just your daughter?

I'd speak to her or it'll Just fester in your mind. These things are always better off in the open. Yes even if you end up having a blazing row.
I noticed you said your son is (to use your word 'silly').
What has that got to do with it. Clutching at straws here, but.Are you one of those mums who makes them take their sibling on a play date, if so that could be pissing her off

I'd agree that the most likely explanation is that the child has asked if she can play at your house and the mum has said no she can't (meaning not until you've arranged something or when neither of you is busy etc).

The best one I ever had though was when my dd was a similar age.
We had her friend playing over one day and the friend suddenly came out with (to me), "My mum asked me to ask you if you are pregnant as she has noticed you are glowing!".
(I was in the early stages and hadn't announced it yet).
I'm assuming her mum didn't expect her dd to add that her mum had told her to ask me!

No, I would not make my son to on a play date with my da ughter! But he would more than likely be at our house if one took place here.

.....they are.both busy so we don't tend to arrange many play dates

Firstly, think about the past. Has this mum (and/or others in the group) always declined your invites or is this something new? Could she be 'ashamed' of her house (or her DH) and not want people in? Could she feel that you haven't reciprocated enough and she's 'done' with playdates with you?

If all the above is ruled out, then just invite the child. If she turns it down, ask again a couple weeks later (because chances are one refusal will be excused with 'Sorry, we're busy'). Once you've been turned down twice, then I'd ask if there's a particular problem.