To have gone off an old friend due to her FB posts

[another20]

? Old school friend. See each other couple of times a year. She is mildly competitive and annoying but tolerable. However her FB posts are extremely vain, arrogant, smug, showing off, self centred etc and has really put me off her.....so much so that I don’t want to hang out with her.

Is FB the “real” her - is this what is inside her head......or is she just v insecure and desperate and I need to be compassionate to this instead?

I don't follow any friends on Facebook - I just use it to message them.

The last friend I unfollowed wrote a whole teary-eyed bleurgh about how her children's future was ruined because of the Leave result of Brexit vote. She obviously knew people would have different opinions and had voted differently - but it didn't stop her arrogantly creating dissension where it was completely unnecessary.

The constant charity stuff, the virtue signalling, the photos of their Mothers Day cards, on and on ... I hate it all . They seem nicer in real life, I don't get it. But perhaps mostly there's nothing too bad behind it, its something for them to do which gives them enjoyment and they don't really think how it affects others. However, my closest friends, admittedly few, don't use FB.

Always makes me think of the Slaves song "The Lives They Wish They Had".

^ sounds like an interesting song Eniledam.

I have had to snooze a really good friend in life on FB because of the posts she puts up regarding animal cruelty. She is a wonderful human being, has lots of pets, is vegan and very against animal cruelty in every form whether it being something relating to family pets or wildlife or farming animals (dairy herds for example). I agree with her passion and am an animal lover too. However, some of her posts are so horrifically graphic they are things I just can't unsee and have nightmares about. I know we should be educated about some of the vile practices against animals and if I call my self an animal lover I should be made aware of these things but some of the photos/videos are so horrible i have nightmares for months (if not years) after. I snooze and try and hide posts of a similar type, but it does make it a bit awkward as she's a good friend in a large group and a lot of our socialising etc is organised via FB events and invites.

YANBU. One of my best friends does this, she is wonderful in RL, humble, funny, sweet, lovable. On FB she is a narcissist, boastful knobber

She IS, however, insecure and can lean on the attention seeking side, so this will explain her social media persona. I wish she wouldn't do it as it's cringe making and I honestly love her. Just not her FB 'character'

Is FB the “real” her - is this what is inside her head......or is she just v insecure and desperate and I need to be compassionate to this instead?

How the heck should we know?

ShadyLady53 bloody hell, how awful x

she insisted it was the standard policy of his uber posh private school and they preferred the brighter ones to be kept back so they could help the other children in class
Wow, that's some next level denial. I'm curious to know your friend's background - did she grow up only feeling loved for her achievements? I'm guessing she doesn't feel all that great about herself if she has to be so competitive.

Don't be too harsh on her facebook posts. Most people post on facebook for the life they want and how they want to appear, it's like a sub-form of photoshopping.

I hide a few family members FB posts, all Brexit shite and how it will be good for us to stand on our own feet for a change.

You can hide people so none of their posts show up. Done that with a few people who I have a polite obligation to be FB friends with - mostly people i work with or people who my mum works with who have learning difficulties. I don't want to offend people who have learning difficulties and my work is very much 'who you know' so if i bin people off facebook I might lose work. Anyone who is not in those two groups gets ditched!

However, I hate FB with a passion, literally only on there for work (and because my sister refuses to join Whatsapp and/or Whatsapp groups).

Its a bragging site and therefore a load of rubbish. Just delete!

I have done the snooze hide FB thing in the past - but there is stuff that you can’t un-see ..... and when we are in contact now F2F I see her and hear her in a different (less flattering) light - much more competitive and profiling my life choices and stacking them up against hers. I am much more uncomfortable and guarded now - so wonder what’s the point of the friendship really.

I had to hide someone I know IRL because of their endless virtue signalling about the environment. Fair enough, it's important, but she just came across as incredibly smug. Also, the endless charity stuff, "I'll be giving, will you?"

Actually no, I'll give to the charity of my choice thank you very much!

What finally did it was that she posted a video of Katie Hopkins talking about asylum seekers. Unforgivable!

I don't get it. She's a bit of a hippy earth mother IRL. Katie Hopkins?!! WTF!

I deletes mt fb, then set up a new, private one for my partner and members of his family, plus.my sister in law on my bro's side. I don't actually use it, I use a closed down instagram account which links to the new fb account, which just keeps my OHs mum included at the end of the day. And it's just odd pics of the kids out me and OH etc. My instagram doesn't have people on it who I don't know. It's not a huge following. And it's all felt so liberating. I unfollowed loads of people prior to deleting the original fb. It made me ill sitting on fb all the time.

From everything you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like you like her very much.

Maybe she’s bragging etc on Facebook...maybe she’s just sharing stuff that makes her happy. Maybe she’s judging your life choices when you see her, maybe she isn’t. You can’t know somebody else’s mind/intentions. You can know how you react to another person though, and it sounds like this person puts you on edge and irritates you; it’s probably best for both of you to just let the friendship go.

I hate the virtue signalling the most; Facebook friends who constantly post statuses about their right on, woke views... it’s all signalling and no action, meaningless showing off

I think that is spot on fuckthat - no point trying to analyse it in my head to justify how I feel - just need to feel it and deal with it....life is to short to be squirming in someone’s company - so after the snooze on FB I need to press the “drift / fade” button in RL.

I've gone off some acquaintances after they shared Britain first type posts. To me that tells us our values are very different and I struggle to be friends with people who hold bigoted views.

Other people's posting habits annoy me a bit but I decide it's just them using social media differently and I'm not going to end a friendship because they happen to sound like an MLM hunbot on social media. If we are friends then I can see past all the 💙❤💙❤💚 style messages.

I'm very surprised how some people come a Ross so differently on FB to have they do in real life. I can't fathom who is the real them, whether their true personality comes out protected behind a screen or the opposite.

I can think of one person who is really caring, friendly, intelligent, a good listener and just a nice person, but her FB posts are very self-centred and possessed and a lot of what she write makes her come across as very shallow and thick. I don't hang around with her any longer so don't know if she's changed or what? I don't get it!