Not to take a job I might love because i’m worried about menopause?

[grimupnorthLondon]

I’m 44 and have always had bad periods (2-3 weeks of pain and horrific PMT) which I mostly deal with using Nurofen Plus and Fluoxetine but I see signs of pain and moods getting worse as perimenopause begins. My current job is quite demanding but flexible and I have a lot of autonomy so that I can put in extra hours at the office the weeks I am feeling good and then ‘work from home’ (stay in bed and just deal with urgent emails and calls) on the odd days when i’m flooding, feel at risk of fainting or just can’t stop crying.

Current job is well paid but in a sector that has never really interested me and doesn’t really align with my values. I was recently approached to apply for and have now been shortlisted for a really interesting public sector role - it’s a big pay cut but I like the idea of public service, think I would have more in common with my colleagues than I currently do and hope learning about new and interesting areas could re-energise me career-wise. They offer flexible and remote working but I would need to recruit and manage a team and build a network within the organisation so I would need to be in the office most of the time. With my current state of health I think I could manage that (I only have about one day every couple of months when I can’t go in at all plus maybe a few late start mornings) but am worried that if menopause hits me hard I might become even more useless just when I need to be putting lots of energy into the first couple of years of a new role.

Has anyone else with a similar menstrual history found that things got easier or harder at menopause? My Mum was fine going through menopause but she never had difficult periods either. I feel as though I might be vulnerable to hormones and could suffer badly from anxiety, mood swings etc

I don’t want to pass up an opportunity without good reason but it seems a bit crazy to give up a well paid, accommodating (if somewhat boring) job only to struggle in the new one for less money. I do appreciate this is something of a first world problem :)

What about a Mirena Coil? They afe fitted for women with heavy/painful periods. I have one and it was a godsend!

Ablation all the way. Life changing. I had an internal scan mid month and consultant was ‘surprised’ by endometrium thickness measurement. He agreed to an ablation. Have had no periods since and it has given me my life back. PMT much improved too apart from couple irritable days.

Tried the coil a few years ago but was disastrous for my mood - I was a tense, crying wreck for a solid two months until it was removed. Ablation sounds promising though - is it a long procedure? Recovery time?

Oh darling, I had a hysterectomy at 34 because of this shit and I've never looked back. I still have my ovaries for the hormones, but none of the bleeding. It's miraculous. Do I feel like less of a woman? Hell no!!!

Half an hour maybe an hour. Back on your feet later that day/next day. Clear discharge can grumble on for few weeks postop. No guarantee periods won’t come back but think that’s quite rare.

It has made my working life (public servant) so much better.

Apologies I havent read all posts here, but I had terrible problems from day 1, so 13-ish. My mum, god love her - reading between the lines, just left me to deal with it - she was embarrassed I think and in the end I took my self off to the GP and went on the pill (17). Crap Mum issues aside, I had issues for the next 30 years - I got so anaemic I could barely stand up. Surgery sorted it - but that was at 40! Uterine Ablation saved the day - oh my god it changed my life

Wow, ablation seems to be the thing. Maybe I need to find yet another gynaecologist (have seen four over the years and only the woman who prescribed fluoxetine was any good) and be pushy about something needing to be done. Any recommendations? Thank you all and sorry to hear so many others have suffered the same way.

Not in your neck of the woods to recommend but it’s a standard gynae procedure - if you emphasise you’ve tried the coil/other hormonal treatments and that things you shouldn’t have to persuade anyone it’s in your best interests. It’s not contraceptive but it makes the womb a ‘hostile environment’ so you have to be sure your fertile years are over.

That things are getting worse

Honestly I'd think very carefully about giving up your current working arrangement and much higher salary.

Even areas that interest you can feel quite tedious when you do them day to day - and being in the office most of the time might feel horrible for you - then at the end of the month you take home less money and can afford less. It doesn't sound like fun to me.